Just when I thought it couldn't get any worst...

That sounds horrid, you poor thing.

Take care Platty ?

Poor you, that's awful. i empathise re elderly family as i think this may be around the corner for me with grandparents unfortunately deteriorating.

i'd definitely take some time to mentally prepare yourself before going round to see them. it's awful to think that you probably can't do anything to improve their situation - i'd think about what could be achieved from seeing them. if they would just enjoy seeing your face, try to keep that in mind when you go - if you can't make it all better and you know that in advance, try not to get upset (as much as is possible anyway) about that.

i don't blame you for not being able to think straight ?

First of all ?

I know how you feel, I have posted something with a very similar title myself, and you keep thinking things can only get better, then someone else comes and gives you a slap in the chops!!

It's always hard to be the one that always copes, and the more you do it, the more you feel you are not able to fall apart, because if you fall apart it must be really bad, yes??

Do what you need to do, what you feel comfortable with and think of yourself for a change, but as I feel we must be quite similar, I know it's always easy to give the advice!

Thanks for the hugs, I've had a good cry and I'm feeling a bit better now but stronger? I don't know.

? take care of yourself Platty

? Platty

How awful for you! I would feel as you do abot your grandparents. When your world is all mixed up, the last thing you want/need is turmoil from an outside source.

What a lot to deal with at once Platty x

My Gran has deteriorated alot lately and it has been hard seeing her so distressed, so I can only imagine what it must be like for you.

Platty that sounds awful. I would almost be tempted not to visit until you feel stronger but then I am not good with old people with dementia.... my grandad had it and it used to upset me to visit...

Yup thats how I feel as well, I do want to remember my grandad the way he was.

I suspect it's how I would feel too and I think that for as long as you feel like this, you should resist going to see them. You need your strength for other things just now love. Wish I could advise (given I'm in pretty much the same situation as you relationship-wise) but I'm afraid I don;t have any magic words. Happy to talk any time lovely. ?

Platty - it is OK not to cope. If you need to fall apart, do. I found that by keeping a lid on everything for so long I lost sight of myself... and that made everything a million times worse.

The world won't stop turning if you're not participating in it for a while.

We'll all be here if you need a chat.

?

Goodness what a terrible situation. I think you have enough on your plate without all this added pressure. I think whatever you do is totally your choice and you shouldn't feel under pressure either way ? It's totally understandable that it would be too hard to go and see them now. Does you brother realise what else you have going on?

? Platty

Thanks everyone ?. I do feel alot better today I tend to "cope" with things then something will happen and it all comes flooding out. My 6 year old daughter saw me crying and she said don't cry I will look after you, that made me worse ?

It seems Mr Platty may not be-able to move out after all although he will be house sitting for his friend for 2 weeks in August, I'm not sure whats going to happen with that.

I will send my grandparents a card to let them know I am thinking about them as my gran is mostly deaf and can't hear the phone.

Thanks again I don't know what I would do without Hitched keeping me sane.

He does but hes not the most empathic person I know.

Oh sweetie I know those "it never rains but it pours days" you poor thing, how very, very difficult for you. I think I echo those who have said that unless you have the strength it's something that you might want to think twice about putting yourself through. You've got so much on your plate at the moment and I don't think it's unfair to let someone else take the strain - I know your brother might not have his own initiative to do this, but do you think if you explained about the separation and house-move that he would go and be the rock for the moment?

Lots and lots of love for you ??

He is doing as much as he can atm bless him but I do worry about him too, my dear parents are living in Spain and they arent even going to come home which is a bit crap imho so my poor brother is having to deal with alot of it because he lives the closest to my grandparents.