Keeping non-custodial parents informed...wdyd?

I send my ex a copy of my little girls report. I don't inform him about anything else but that's because he lives 200 miles away. When he lived round the corner, he was informed about allsorts of things. But now he isn't really that bothered.

I suppose it depends on what sort of relationship you have with your ex. My ex and I are on very "polite" and civil terms for our sons sake. I have informed him of what school etc our son will be attending in Sept, but after that its up to him to make contact IMO and talk to teachers, get involved. I don't see it as any of my business to set such things up, its up to him as to how involved he wishes to get.

I didn't bother telling him anything but more to the point he didn't ask, if he had I would willingly have told him. I didn't really want to be contacting him all the time. As the children got older they told him hat they wanted him to know.

They can ask the school to post them copies of any info or news etc I believe. I certainly had children in my class who I had to do two reports for etc.

I felt that if I were to phone him every time something "happened" I'd never have been off the phone!

I kept to the important stuff (he lived too far away to rush to hosp after a nasty fall, so didn't b other letting him know).

When your child talks on the phone to him, he should ask the things he wants to know.

Don't be paranoid!?

Thanks everyone. H used to live a long way from his daughter but we moved back to the area 2 years ago so he could be more involved in her day-to-day life.

He's not been told about a lot of things (mainly school stuff which his daughter doesn't mention - parents evenings etc) and neither of us is really sure whether he's reasonable expecting her mother to let him know the dates of things like that or whether he should just contact the school and ask them to pass on info direct to him.

My SIL and her ex share custody of their daughter and share info - he takes her to ballet at the weekends so tells her mum about dance display dates or when she needs a new tutu etc.

My SIL takes her to horse riding and so informs him with how she's getting on there, if she has a fall etc. I know they had to have a discussion recently about what classes she'd be taking as times/days impact on both of them and their schedules.

They both take turns to collect/pick up from school so share teacher info and go to parents' evenings together. I think you should share info - surely it is in your child's best interests that both parents are involved and up to speed?

AJ's school have been asked repeatedly to send us copies of everything. They are sh!t at it, and so we find out about stuff if and when ex-mrs-WTP deigns to tell us. We still don't know whether he is going on a week long residential this month.

I work as a school secretary and we have a number of families where the dad lives somewhere different to the children. As a matter of course we send out a copy of everything we send to the mums to the dads too. This was already in place before I started the job but I think the dads have requested this, they give us their address which is on the child's file and we happily do it for them.

I am sure if your H contacts his daughter's school and explains they will send copy reports, school calendars, newsletters, parents' evening dates etc. I suppose he may have to prove who he is, not just some random bloke ringing up - our school is such a tiny village school everyone knows everyone anyway.

H's ex rarely mentions anything that's taking place at the school. We contacted the school once he'd gained Parental Responsibilty (was a few years ago) and they now send us a copy of the weekly newsletter and all the relevant end of year reports. Eldest has just moved up to senior school and we've requested the same-will see whether it happens when the end of year reports are due. We're also now on the In Case of Emergency contact list too.

With Adam's Dad (although I'd imagine it's a bit easier as he's not actually an ex of mine) I tell him things like that. He requested, with my blessing, that the school send him copies of anything they send which they've done - although we both check that the other received most things. We also both go to parents night; the school even happily arranged for him to go to a seperate appointment because his work clashed with the appointment I could make.

Things like Adam's football nights or important doctors/hospital/social work appointments we also write in his school diary so that the other finds out about it if we forget to actually tell each other.

I'd imagine it's a nightmare with an ex who just doesn't want to help or share.

My husband has shared residency of his two girls. The school can't seem to grasp that two parents can care for children. Repeatdly we have to ask for copies of school reports, letters, events, to be contacted if there is an emergency. It got to the point where we wrote to our MP and the LEA who are also bloody useless! The school are now improving but that is only because of the fuss we have caused. Next on our hit list are dentist and GP surgeries.

Thankfully the girls understand the situation and so they remember (as much as they can) to tell either mum or dad. When they are with us and we have a letter, I note it down and send the letter to mum's when the girls go back. Mum has started to do the same.

Things have improved of late due to eldest starting secondary school in September and we decided to use our address as the contact address because we are nearer the better schools (not that it helped in the application process mind!) We now recieve all letters concerning her joining and make a point of calling and telling mum. In fact over the past month ex and MrKB have managed to attend 5 or 6 meetings together without getting into a fight, and they have 2 more next week, sports day and leavers assembly coming up.