Last day at work....

Aw that sucks of your friend, I'd expect a call, but then also think i'd want to know ASAP so I can change table plans etc so if it came to it a text would do!

Hope you enjoy the day - can't believe how quick all of these weddings are coming round now!

It is a bit rude, particularly if they're a good friend rather than "someone you know", if that makes sense. Were they an all day or evening only guest?

I suppose it depends on their reason for not coming at short notice, but I'd probably feel the same.

If she was an all day guest, is there someone you can upgrade in their place or is it just wasted money now (which a lot of people don't understand - you don't pay the bill on the day, you have to pay in advance whether they turn up or not).

Don't worry, the nerves and excitement will hit you when you least expect it!

That is rude of your friend. I had one take the time out to call me the other day for the same reason and we have weeks yet (OMG, weeks not months!). Little considerations like that are very much appreciated when it comes to the stress and expense of wedding planning.

It is my last day at work too (getting hitched on Saturday), and it's not really sunk in yet either! I think it might do a bit later as I have cakes for people at work, so lots of people will come and say good luck then!

We've not had anybody cancel yet, but I did find out yesterday that my cousin is no longer living with her bloke, and I was expecting them both to come! We don't have any singles we could bump up to all day, and I think it's too late to add more to the wedding breakfast, so I think we might have an empty chair there now! Will have to wait and see...

My friend was an evening guest so it doesn't cause any huge issues - it's just disappointing. She only got married herself a few years ago so I thought she might remember what it's like. She has a wee girl who's about 9 months old - and she is teething and has a bit of a cold. I know babies can be a handful but this is only Tuesday - she might be fine by Saturday - or am I just being Bridezilla?

I can see both sides of the she could be better argument, don't think you're being unreasonable there at all. But then she's maybe just not comfortable leaving her baby knowing she's recently been unwell? Newish mother you can probably understand why.

Does she normally contact you by text? I would guess that maybe with a screaming baby in the background she thought a text would be as quick and possibly more effective but if she's normally a caller rather than a texter then I think I might be a wee bit offended.

AJ you have to pay for all your guests in advance? The hotel I work in we ask for around 50% deposit in advance with the balance to be paid either on the day or the day after (if they're staying over) Some couples will pay more deposit so they have less to pay afterwards but I've never known a wedding party to the full balance? Is it normal?

er yes!! all the places we viewed needed all deposit like 10days in advance!

Interesting.. none of the places I looked at did. Most any wanted was 75%

Our terms were £500 deposit, £500 6 months before the date, 1/2 the oustanding balance 3 months beforehand and the remainder 3 weeks before the date, with any extras paid on the day.

So anyone that drops out after 3 weeks before the wedding, if they were invited to the wedding breakfast we either lose out £35/head, upgrade evening only guests (and possibly pay another £35 for their partner to join them, hence the "on the day" extras balance.

Seemed pretty standard everywhere we looked at.

This is for food and room hire etc - if you're paying for guest accommodation then it might be different, but we're only paying for our room - guests can sort themselves out.

The majority of places do tend to require numbers & full payment prior to the wedding day (hence why people get stressed over people not coming on the day or calling/texting to say they aren't coming near to the day), when we were looking there was nowhere who wanted full payment on the day or after. We've had to confirm numbers & pay balances off by 2 weeks beforehand for ours.

Our venue want the money about a month in advance - like Flowmojo has said most venues want the money up front - otherwise people could have their special day and then do a runner - some people pay cash so they would have no chain to come and find the people.

Regards to your friend texting: I think it all depends on how close you are too them - but if you have only got a couple of days to go then she might think that you are stressed out and dont have time to sit and have a lengthy chat so she is saving you time by letting you know the quickest and what she hoped as being the least stressful way