Last minute annoyances - UPDATED

Why would people not expect to pay for any food the day/night BEFORE the wedding? Parents have a knack of engaging gob before brain I'm afraid. They always mean well, but don't choose their words wisely.

I called my dad three weeks ago, half an hour after my dog had died to tell him. Hi picked the phone up and I'd only said Hi Dad, are you OK, he responded, "Well you sound dreadful" - really abruptly, immediately followed by "Who's died", intending it to be a joke. When I told him, actually Dad - Jasper just did...I could sense his heart plummit over what he'd said. They just don't think at times. My Mum would have said - You sound dreadful, are you OK? Dad no......Just trying to show how pants they can be but don't mean to be.

This is a really stressful time for all. I'm sure she thinks she's helping make your wedding even more perfect and she doesn't think it's anything like a conference at all. Just a really poor choice of words and handling. Hugs hunxx

Yep, when I called my mother on Saturday to tell her that my dress is arrived and the lining is too tight, she basically said "well there's nothing you can do except lose weight!" Which is a typical OTT reaction from her when it comes to my size/weight. After a few mins she came around and we made plans to put an extra panel into the lining, which is an easy fix, but it was an unpleasant minute of feeling like it's entirely my fault that the dress doesn't fit and it's too late to do anything about it. So that was fun.

We are planning a meal on the Sunday after the wedding with family also. Why would people expect you to pay after you have just spent a fortune on food + drink for them??

we went to a meal after a wedding and wouldn't at all of expected for our meal to be paid for. Although it is extremely kind of her to pay, in my opinion I would feel is a waist of money when no one would expect it.

i agree though just smile and take it with a pinch of salt.

One of oh's friends text him this morning to ask if he could come after all! It's nice that he can make it but I just let my fiancé know who he needed to tell to sort it out because I can't be bothered! And the table plan is not being changed!

Other things have not been wedding related. Our washing machine is broken and as we rent a furnished house it should be the owners responsibility but they were so rude to me on the phone and refuse to give me a time frame when they will come and look at it. Off to the laundrette later! Went out for a quick run earlier (but drove to the park) and came back to find some idiot had parked over my garage and we live in a really busy area so no other spaces! Had to wait in the car until the idiot came back at which point I politely explained how he'd inconvenienced me and he didn't even apologise! People! I'm still in a really good mood though because it's a lovely day, I'm off work, have friends coming over later and oh yeah, getting married in 4 days!!

Crmruangel I totally understand your frustration but think you're right to graciously give in, at this stage it's anything for an easy life!

And hurrah for all of that!!!

I would be the same as you - your definately not expected to pay for people'e food the night before unless your having an indian wedding where it goes on for about 6 days all of which you pay for!

I agree with the parent not engaging brain side and lashing out - its the kind of comment my FMIL would come out with - last conversation with her was I've sorted your evening buffet - local butcher doing sausage sandwiches - great you would think but I and half my family don't eat meat (neither do a 3rd of the guests) we are having no meat at the wedding and she told us the price to pay.

To which we declined, told her it was under control (we hadn't mentioned anything about sourcing evening food as got a cheese cake and getting platters) and there was no meat at the wedding (for the 1000th time). My tip is polite but firm!

An update: the hotel is moving me out of the room I booked A YEAR AGO because some guests they already have in it have had a change of plans and need to stay longer.

I do sympathise - they're a family and they are between houses, but if they can afford to stay in a hotel for several months they're not impoverished and they were supposed to have vacated ages ago... I felt really bad kicking up a fuss about it, but all my plans are centred around having a large space to get ready in and the normal rooms are just too small - if we'd known, I could have stayed at home and organised for OH to stay at hotel.

Anyway, all sorted eventually with a set of adjoining rooms (and a refund, which was a bonus, but I was really more worried about the space), but could have done without being made to feel like the big bad witch just because I was querying how the hell 5 of us could get ready in one standard room, the day before I was due to arrive.

Aaaaand breathe....

OMG - now that's not the kind of stress you need. It's appalling!!! But I know they've thought hmmm - do we kick out the family that have been here a while and look like staying longer to put this person in who's only going to be in one or two nights...or do we protect the larger cash flow angel....not very good - but at least you've got a solution that you'r relatively content with so that's something. Enjoy these last few hours - can't believe it's here already. Looks like the sun should be shining too - rather than this grim day today. xx

Oh I do totally see that pammy, but we're booking the majority of the hotel out on the Saturday night with our guests and paying for several large meals, so we're a fairly big cash cow ourselves!

I do have to sympathise about the between houses thing though - we moved in with OH's parents for a fortnight for the same reason so I can see it would be a pain to be shunted out of the room (although they are leaving the day of our wedding so would need to be packed up anyway!) - my first instinct was to just say yes, before I remembered there were 5 of us plus MUA to use the space on Saturday morning!

Urgh, what a pain! Hopefully you'll find the adjoining rooms will actually be better as you'll have less crazy concentrated in one room :-) but the hotel should have thought about that!! Glad you got a refund and a sensible option. I hope you have a wonderful few days!

I used to manage a very well known hotel. It's hard when this happens and you have guests in long term like this. It's really hard to move them about. Space, beds in rooms etc. I've had this situation before and most of the time we've had families in long term was due to problems with a house and we was payed through insurance, which made it harder to move them because they would have to meet a criteria so couldn't move rooms for that reason, or the insurance would just ring up and say we've extended the stay. I feel for you as I used to feel so sorry for the guests I had to ring and tell them they would not be able to get the room they booked. its unfortunate that the guest not in the hotel loses out but it's very hard. Sounds like they handled it well with you offering you a refund. But I know it's a pain in the butt for you.

hope you have a great day :-)

My niece sent me a photo message on Wednesday of the dress she wants to wear asking if it's suitable (it is, very, she looks lovely) with a jaunty little aside added that she's found herself a date for the event.

Now, when we sent out invitations, she was told she could bring her bloke. But that was a different bloke who she'd been with a while and who we had met. We have family we haven't invited because we made a rule that we weren't inviting anyone who we hadn't seen in the last 2 years. With less than a fortnight to go, she's just adding on a random bloke she's started seeing without asking first. This is made even worse because it's no more than a casual relationship - she's going travelling round the world at the end of April and, once she gets to New Zealand, isn't planning on coming back again, so it can't be anything serious.

I haven't raised this with her yet and, to be perfectly honest, I'm not sure I will. It'll only cause a row and I don't need the extra stress this close to the day. I'm pissed off, though!