Losing it a bit....(BT) Woe is me, sorry for myself post!

Aw Rod, it's early days yet. be kind to yourself for longer. No one will expect you to feel back to normal immediately - nor should they. And I bet your hormones are still a bit all over the place too.

Donkey's years ago I was in the same place as you. It took me 4 months to get pg with my son after the miscarriage and that felt like a LIFETIME. In retrospect, it wasn't at all (I was actually advised to leave it 6 months before trying again, but I was impatient).

My problem was that no-one (not even my H) acknowledged that it had happened, so I am glad that you and your H are able to talk to each other about your lost hopes and future plans. That's important.

Hugs.

I don't really know what to say but it is going to take time, it's only been weeks since your op.

You just need to keep looking at the positives (I know it is probably easier said than done). You have a fantastic H, a holiday to look forward to, possibly a new job, losing weight etc. Over time you will begin to feel better I am sure.

In the meantime, rant away here and have a MAHOOSIVE hug ?

P.S. I'm not very good at the advice giving but am very good at hugs ?

Hugs Rod, you are doing really well. It's totally understandable that you may take a dip sometimes, and also that things will trigger emotions in you.

I know it's easy for me to say, but please try to keep focusing on the good positive things in your life and not so much on 'what ifs'. I know it will have also been said a million times, but so many people have gone on to have healthy pregnancies and babies after a loss, you aren't alone.

Stay strong lady xxx

Oh lovely! I have no wise words but I wanted to give you a hug ?

Do you have anything exciting planned this weekend?

Thanks. I know all this. I know I have things to be thankful for and I know I will be ok. I am ok. I just have these little meltdowns sometimes.

Currently at my desk trying not to cry. I just want to go home and sob.

Hey Nuts thanks. Yeah going with my bestie to have lunch in Sloane Square (posh birds yah?) and go to Jenny Packham for her first fitting for her wedding dress.

which is exciting. xx

Hitched seems to have eaten my reply. No other wise words but please have a cwtch/hug from me ? ?

Oh Rod. Have a huge hug from me. No advise to give as I can't imagine how you are feeling but rest assured that I'm sure how you are feeling is perfectly normal and you have managed brilliantly thus far. Lean on us/ H/ your family as and when you need to and know everyone is sending lots of love to you.

Massive hugs Rod x

What you are feeling is totally "normal" rod. I know that doesn't make it any better for you but I want you to know that you aren't alone in your feelings. You have been so positive so far and you are continuing to look at the positives. You are allowed to have sad moments, what you've been through is something nobody should ever have to experience. Let yourself grieve sometimes. I was the same last Thursday, I kept weeping at my desk, it came from nowhere but it also disappeared just as fast. It's normal to have ups and downs and just try and remember that you will feel more up, than down again soon.

Have a massive hug.

AC speaks wise words. I have no advice, only hugs x

Thanks guys.

I think I need a cry but I can hardly do that here. Just feel so emotional and out of control.

Can you sneak off somewhere quiet for a bit? Not ideal I know but a good cry does sometimes help.

I dont think so. I'm at work so people will know!!

The urge to cry is going now anyway so it will be forced and less satisfying. Does that make sense?!

Thanks everyone. And sorry to moan. Mrs Imp I may drop you a msg on fb x

Massive hugs ?

Weirdy internet hug for you Rod.

How you're feeling is normal though. You're grieving, that doesn't just go away, and some days are harder than others.

It has been over 3 years since my MC, and I still have the odd day where I breakdown and cry.

Hello

I just wanted to say how sorry I am. My Mum used to volunteer for The Miscarriage Association and they have a forum too.

The main reason for my Mum wanting to volunteer was that she had two miscarriages herself before I was born and she'd always wanted four kids but when her third, my brother, was born it was a difficult delivery and she was told not to have any more. It's a horrible thing to lose a child in pregnancy, of course it is, but had it not happened I would not be here and maybe my brother and sister wouldn't too. Her second baby was due to be born five months before I eventually made it into the world so I definitely wouldn't be here. If she'd had the first two and then my sister then maybe she wouldn't have been able to have my brother.

We may not be the best kids in the world but I hope my Mum doesn't think, "I wonder whether the others I lost would have been better". I'm pretty sure she doesn't. Now I'm getting married and realise that me and OH are the only people in the world for each other, I'm glad I'm here and he's not on his own too. When you get your family, I'm sure you'll realise that you wouldn't change them either.

Massive hugs Rodders. I didn't even know anything had happened. I'm so sorry. I MC over a year ago and I still cry about it. I still have days where I want to punch people in the face when they announce/tell me how long they have left/moan about morning sickness etc. Nothing anyone can say will change it, so don't be hard on yourself for feeling this way. It's still very new and raw, so you have every right to cry and feel miserable. Hope you feel better soon xxx

Oh rod

You need to not be so hard on yourself. You are grieving for the baby you have lost, no one is going to expect you to get over that in a week lovely.

I have seen both my sisters lose babies and then fall pregnant again, it can and will happen.

Do you feel up to talking about it at work? You may be surprised that others have been in your shoes too? If not there are lots of ladies on here who will I'm sure be able to talk to you about it?

chin up chuck x

Ah sweetie, take your time over this. Everything you feel is normal. If you feel sad, don't try to ignore it. If you feel happy, don't feel guilty.

Are your period/cycle/hormones back on track?

I've looked on their website, thanks.

I understand what you are saying but right now I cant see past what I should be having. I appreciate it though.

Tortoise - Thanks x

Mini - A few people at work know. But my manager is pregnant (21 weeks - doesnt help with everyone always talking to her about the baby - they were supposed to be tlaking to me about mine too!) and im not especially close with anyone else.

Footlong - I dont know where I am with cycles/hormones etc. I am tempted to do a test but I dont know if i could bear a false positive. Or indeed a negative.

Rose - Thanks x

Hey Rod. I can't imagine what you are going through, but I think how you are feeling is normal. It's a huge loss, and you've coped so well, it's bound to all get a bit much for you at times. I wish I had the right words for you, but I don't.

Have a hug, be kind to yourself, and be sad when you need to be, it's better than bottling it up ?

Rod hope you're feeling better this evening.

As others said, its all totally normal to have up and down days. I'm still having them - it just seems to come on me all of a sudden then go just a quick. You've done amazingly well to get through what you have and still get up and get on with daily life. Be kind to yourself and don't beat yourself up for having a down moment or two. it will get easier but don't rush it.

Ive also go somebody working with me that is 25 weeks pregnant and its super tough to say the least.

Its just not our time right now, but it will be soon. I'm sure of it.

If you ever want to vent feel free to message me.

Big hugs Rodders xxx