Losing my identity

I'm not married yet and it already makes me sad!

My passport is still my maiden name as it doesnt expire until 2016 and I really miss it sometimes - I had an awesome signature too! What I dont miss is people always spelling/pronouncing it wrong.

ive not swapped everything, i still have my bank account in my maiden name and refuse to change it yet, I miss being Miss P but love being a mrs!! I think once baby flow is here and al three of us have the same name il miss it less if that makes sense?

I still get called my maiden name at work, as it was just what the 'boys' called me (you know what boys are like!)

My passport and driving licence were due to expire a couple of months after we got married (as if we planned it!) so I had to change them straight away and changed pretty much everything else at the same time for convenience. I was excited to do it straight away and I love booking things as Mrs Button. However I do sometimes miss my maiden name and as silly as it is I'm a little jealous of my SiL who gets to have it now!

I felt very strange calling myself Mrs J as I was Miss S for 40 years. Even now when Im in work, I sometimes have to think about what my surname is when I give my full name.

When I first got married, I would say Sally S oops no, sorry, Sally J. It took a while to get use to.

Everything is changed over and yes, sometimes i do miss being Miss S but love being Mrs J and to be called someones "wife".

Initially I planned on only keeping my maiden name for work, but the more I think about it the more I'd like to keep everything in my name. Passport would definitely be one to keep as I only got a new one this year and so not forking out to change it (wedding is next September)!

Also I don't particularly like OH's surname! Even his sister said "oh you poor thing getting our surname" when we got engaged!

I was just filling out the form last night, and most disgusted that I need to have two new photos taken.... waaaaaaa, my current one is a rather good one of me if I dont say so myself ? so I will most probably be spending a whole afternoon in a photo booth this weekend trying to take a half decent one.... AND it is a mighty £72 for a name change on passport, ridiculous!!!

I'm glad it's not just me ?

I will be pretty sad when my maiden name goes, partly because my quite english first name doesn't 'go' with OH italian surname. But I'm looking forward to it as well.

But will be keeping my passport, even though I was about 14 when I had it done and look like a doll with far too much make up.

Ive done everything except my passport!

feels weird when we go away and my tickets are Miss Old Name. Will get around to doing it soon......Im sure!

I kept mine. Although it's not really my maiden name as it is a family name I reverted to some seven years ago - my own choice.

It was so empowering choosing my own surname I'd never lose it now. Like Agouti, I don;t like my H's surname so wouldn't want to change anyway. His family don't understand at all - and even H is a bit sad.

To compromise I sometimes call myself MRS C, because that makes him happy. Though mostly I don't. But I like "wife!

I asked H if he would change his surname, or double barrel with mine, but he refused as he thought it would change his identity. But he was convinced the same didn't apply to me! (Previous H also gave same argument). One rule for one...? I don't think so!

I haven't bothered changing my passport as it still has a few years left to run and it costs a lot to change. Plus I can still use it in conjunction with my marriage certificate to prove I am Mrs J.

I have changed everything else though, banks, driving licence etc. The banks were really easy and really accommodating, I can still put in cheques made out to my maiden name if I sign the back with my old signature.

I didn't like my maiden name though so have no sad feelings over letting it go. I would have changed earlier but it would probably have upset my dad and I didn't know what to change it to, plus I've been with H since before I was 18 so perhaps I just figured in the back of my mind that I could change it when we married without too much fuss!

My passport is still in my maiden name. This is partly because I got pregnant soon after getting married, put on 4 1/2 stone, and didn't want a fat picture for the next 10 years. I've now lost most of the weight so should get around to changing it soon. I had to do my driver's licence almost straight away as it was expiring and I'm really not loving the picture on that, I look like a psychopath.

I 100% do NOT want to change my name, but OH feels really strongly about me taking his name, so I've kind of agreed to, mostly to stop the argument he was adamant we needed to have.

I lost my dad when I was really young, my older brother is gay and not a fan of children at all (no guarantees they would have his name anyway!) and my older half brother has 3 girls and they're not planning any more. My dad's brother has 4 girls who are all married and taken their OH's names, so that leaves me as the last one to carry on my family name. OH's family is a nightmare, extremely dysfunctional (alcholic mother, abusive father, selfish b!tch of a sister) and not a group of people I particularly want to be associated with anymore than necessary. He is totally against double-barreling our names and wouldn't take mine.

I have no intention of changing any documents until absolutely necessary, and am hoping to get away with not doing it at all ?

Don't change it Tortoise. Just don't. He WILL get used to it!

I'm with AC on that, tortoise, I don't think I'd change it in your situation either.

I really didnt want to change my name, H really wanted me to, so I said I would everywhere but at work.

I have nothing against H's surname but a bit like Tortoise my sister has got married and taken her H's name, my brother is single and I dont think will ever have kids and with my dad no longer being alive I really wanted to keep his surname.

So far I have only changed it on my Facebook account, I will get round to it eventually, my passport expires in 2014, but H has stopped asking when I will do it so I have stopped pretending it is imminent !

Cricks - You can travel on your maiden name passport, just take your marriage certificate with you, I have done this before with no problems (if you really dont want to change it that is)

When AC and Storky are the first two to give advice - listen!!!

I would feel the same in your situation, if you don't want to change it, then don't, you may end up being unhappy and resent it which could have a negative effect on your relationship with your H in the long term. As AC said earlier, if your OH will absolutely not change his name to yours, then why should you have to change yours to his?

I know I'm not married yet so maybe I'll feel differently once it comes to actually changing everything over but I can't wait! Feels a little weird yes but I'm still going to be me, and by the time I die, hopefully I will have been Mrs NewName longer than I ever was Miss MaidenName.

We already get referred to collectively as the NewNames in OH's extended family circle and I like it ?

Although Boy had no problem with me keeping my maiden name in all contexts, had he demanded in any way, I would have told him where to go (actually, if he were that kind of man*, we wouldn't have lasted very long in the first place). He spends at least part of his time defending my decision to his parents etc.

* I don't mean that to sound bad, but it would be a personality trait that I don't find attractive.

I have my maiden name on FB, my passport, banks, and Mrs married name at the Drs and dentist. I just couldn't give up my name. My 2 boys have my Maiden name, I like being the same as them.

I've changed everything except the important stuff like driving license and passport! I like being Mrs C rather than Miss P but I think my old surname sounded better with my first name.

Thinking about it now, I've got a massive family and at the moment there is no one to carry on my maiden name, can't see my brother's marrying or having kids but they might surprise us!

Tortoise in your shoes I wouldn't change my name either

I've changed everything! I had no qualms about doing so either. I diddnt mind my maiden name but coupled with my middle name it was terrible.

i realised this week though that I seem to have forgotten to tell the dvla as my tax reminder came though in my maiden name.

My provisional driving license is still in my maiden name, but I changed everything else. Oh! Tell a lie, my lottery account is in my maiden name. It was far too faffy to change that - they wanted me to post my marriage certificate in fgs! I've done that for important things, but not the bloomin' lottery!

It is a tricky issue the name change... I prefer my name, l have had that name for thirty-odd years and part of me thinks why should l? Plus my married name is even more annoying than my maiden name to spell out to people and has a greater variety of spellings -l didn't think that was possible but it is! As a compromise l am going to go by Ms McN at work and Mrs McD at home. I doubt Mr Erin is that chuffed but there you go! Our names are too similiar to double barrel so that isn't even an option.

FIL calls us "Team J***" which I love!

I still have 2 identities. I have passport, credit card and one ISA in my old name. I changed name on my driving license as OH bought new car in my married name and I have changed all of my single and joint bank accounts to new name. I'll get round to doing it all at some point. I am glad I kept one account unchanged as my PPI cheques was in my old name and bank would have refused it even with proof of marriage.

I feel this exactly!

I feel a bit odd about taking OH's name. He doesn't get the resistance to it. Thing is, that his name isn't his "maiden" name, as he changed it by deed poll when he was 15. I'm one of two girls, Dad's sister is a lesbian and is now in her 50s so very unlikely to have children, so his name will kind of die out. That makes me a bit sad. OH won't take my name though.

I was really glad to lose my maiden name so it is with some trepidation I will return to it after the divorce. (My choice)

I guess it's normal to feel this way, but I don't think you'll dwell on it for long xx

Really? Both my banks (HSBC and Lloyds) have me on their system as Marriedname but also 'previously known as' Maidenname and will happily take cheques in either name.

I really struggled with this. I am the last in the line of the K....'s and with my Irish heritage so much emphasis has always been placed on our family name that the prospect of losing it made me really really sad.

I remember speaking to my Dad about it not long before he died and he basically told me not to be silly and as soon as I got married I would be officially Mrs N, regardless of what I called myself so should just embrace it and get on with it. Sounds kind of tough but put me straight!

I had to change my passport quickly for the home office anyway and I genuinely feel a lot better with things now having just got on with it because noone can take away where I have come from and I am proud of being Mrs N now.