Loving habits...

I'm not sure that I quite buy that you have to love everything about someone you love. I love MrH very much but I do wish he would put the new loo roll on the loo roll holder instead of leaving it on the top of the loo where I can't reach it. Similarly I know he loves me but finds it infuriating that I finish he sentences. We accept those habits because there are many others that we do like, but I don't think I'd say we love them just because they belong to someone we love.

Xarra your post made my brain hurt ?

I think you need to think a bit less ?

I think that if the standard for real love is to adore every aspect of your partner all the time then we'd all be in trouble.

I'd happily take a version of Mr Layabout that didn't sigh and purse his lips when someone leaves things untidy. But I'm still happier with him (pursed lips and all) than I'd be with anyone else. I'm sure he feels the same way about my chronic untidiness...

As a 'newly-wed' (the planners are ging to killllll me), I am finding this something that I am having to get to grips with.

I would go with what everyone else said, but think that maybe the difference between Mr Pants and the rest of the world is that I'm prepared to let things slide with him, whereas with others I'm not quite so in love with, I would be quicker to snap.

PL, I think we're married to the same man ?

I get driven mad, to the point of rage, when he has a lie-in of several hours and then only makes his side of the bed. Or does the washing and then dumps it in the middle of the lounge floor - as if to say "deal with this you lazy harridan." Of course he doesn't do the washing anywhere near as much as me, and I manage the whole process myself ?

Do I love these habits? No. Do I love him? Yes. Do I think about it too much? No. Am I annoying? Probably ?

Chill out Xarra, I think you're getting hurt about nothing.

OK, OK, I think too much... I just always viewed it as you love someone warts and all... While you might prefer them without the warts, they're their warts and therefore you love the warts too in a way because you love all of them...

What you're all saying is that you don't have to love people's habits to love them and you don't view it as an insintric part of who they are? They're the same person with or without the habits? And you can tolerate the annoying habits... I know people can change, but if I can change something I do, isn't that changing me in someway - I can't split 'habit' from 'personality'...

Yes, MrX thinks I think far too much... And I'm opening myself up to getting very confused later in life, aren't I?

Note: I'm just coming out of a depressive phase and I get moody and overthink things - it's driving MrX up the wall... You're all incrediably helpful because you manage to explain it and show me the other point of view. (Although MrX thinks I should believe in myself and what I think and asking other people is stupid... If I didn't do that though, I'd go insane from confusion!)

Later in life? ?

Man, I would hate to be you ?

Thanks HH *droll* That makes me feel so much better.

Nah, I'm just one of those people that likes to Understand Things... (No, I'm not a scientist!) And I get very confused if I don't... A bit like being obsessive compulsive, but with needing all the facts and understanding rather than tying one shoelace before the other...

Well, after reading all that my brain is shot for the rest of the day?

Oh for goodness sake, I was only joking.