Maid of Honor issue

You say you were her MOH and she didn't really involve you in the planning so maybe she doesn't understand That you really want her involved in the planning because that's not how she was. Everyone does it differently, some want to go it alone and some want people to be involved and help plan. I would just say to her that you would really like it if she could be involved in the planning. On the flip side she might not want to be that involved, some people just aren't that into it and that's fine I'm guessing you asked her I be MOH because she's a very close friend and you want her at your side on the big day and not because you wanted her to help out.

You say you've got help so I really wouldn't worry, in sure she will come through on the day and that's all that counts really. I think we all get so wrapped up in the wedding planning that we sometimes forget its not the most important thing to everyone else lol. I have a bm that is more excited than me n one that really isn't that into all this kind of stuff and that's fine because people are different, I know she will be there for me in the day and I know that she's happy to be a bm she's just not that bothered about what flowers I have or doesn't get why it's just a big decision what shoes the page boy should wear lol.

Some people do not expect to be needed to help plan a wedding.. I certainly did not expect my MOH, mother, sister, or anyone other than my fiance to help plan the day. Yes, I sent emails to my MOH when I was excited about things we planned, or to ask her if she had any idea about bridesmaid dresses (I made them choose the dress so I wouldn't have to), but when it came down to planning the wedding why would she be involved? It's not her wedding. Why do save the dates and invitations have anything to do with the maid of honour? Dress shopping maybe, but I wouldn't be bent out of shape if someone couldn't make it to dress shopping with me. Your wedding is the biggest day of YOUR life, but it's not hers, so although she is probably over the moon for you it is understandable if she isn't able to get as excited about it as you are.

I don't quite understand how being busy or difficult to get in touch with equals betrayal or would cause you hurt and anger. Why not send her an email telling her you would like her to be more involved? Maybe with ideas about what kind of input you would like from her? Or you could ask what's going on in her life, as there might be something that is keeping her really preoccupied that you have no idea about.

In the end it is probably just that she doesn't think that being a maid of honour is a job, she probably thinks of it as an honour and privilege to get to stand up with her friend on a very important day.