May be a bit TMI but would you...

When is anyone truely ready for a baby???

I have 2 little uns, and it was a happy mistake...you learn to cope, and adapt to the situation...

My advice, is...if its meant to be, its meant to be...so try it on the night, as there is nothing more amazing then trying for a baby (we planned the 2nd)...

I really hope you have fun on the night....xxx

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I don't think anyone ever really "tries for a baby", more "stops trying not to get pregant by taking all the necessary precautions", if that makes sense?

I'm more than sure you don't mean you'd not have sex for that entire 18 months...

I think it sounds a little weird tbh.

I'd wait until you've brought your house. Just my opinion though...

Pop yourself over to baby talk and you'll see plenty of people actively trying for a baby.

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I'm trying to avoid that section of the board until the time comes that I actually need it. It seems to have its own bizarre language - but then I think I'd probably fit in over there even less than I do over here - my nipples don't work, for a start.

But surely, isn't "trying for a baby" simply another way of saying "having unprotected sex"? Of course, there are ways that you can increase your chances of getting a hit, but personally I would guess the "as many attempts as possible" approach is preferred by most people?

I know that you can't guarantee falling pregnant at any time however hard or often you try (or not falling pregnant how much you try not to - the only 100% effective birth control is abstinence. So the idea of 'trying once then again in 18 months' does seem a bit odd to me unless of course it was just badly worded.

This may sound really strange but after our wedding we do want a baby but dont want to class it as trying we would much prefer for it to accidentally happen as oppose to us trying for 2 years and getting no where it would stress me out unbelievably haha. so me and my partner are trying to figure out a way of making our contraception less affective for example taking pill every other day or just following an ovulation chart. we dont want to say we are officially trying but the pill has been working very well for years even with few missing (not intentionally though)

could you do anything like that?? that would also tell you if fate wants you to have one.

Amy x

Nope, they're 2 completely different things.

As you said yourself that you are avoiding that section then I won't go into it but trust me, they are two distinct concepts. Suffice to say, there are a lot more approaches than just the one you name, though that is the preferred method of some.

Well, there was one ex hitcher who got pregnant on her wedding night, but again, I believe they were actively trying, and had they not been lucky then would have carried on trying.

I don't really understand your objective, can't really comprehend it. To me, your either ready, or your not. If your not you dont try, if you are then you do. But - different things work for different people.

Being completely honest and perhaps very negative, given the amount of people, as PR mentioned who are trying for a baby over on BT, and having lurked there, I know it's highly unlikely all your dates (ovulation etc) would line up perfectly with your wedding night and that in addition to the dates you'd go on to be lucky enough to have your body "do it's thing" in getting you pregnant, some people try for many many months. But hey - give it a go annd keep your fingers crossed!

I know there's loads of different methods, and contraptions that you can buy that tell you the best time to be trying - I just don't know the names or details as obviously it's not something that's relevant to us at this stage, until such a time that we decide to start trying for a baby - or stop trying not to.

I'm sure it'll be an interesting, if somewhat stressful, experience, particularly as age is not on our side. But if it's meant to be, it will be. However, the thought of the responsibility for another life scares the hell outta me...

My OH and i had a similar discussion about this. But we came to the conclusion that we're not going to be actively trying for a baby after we get married. We'd like some time just him and me to enjoy being married before we have kids. I'm quite sure that the date of our wedding, i'd be in good standings to get pregnant due to where i'd be in my cycle, so i don't think i'll be taking the risk!

That's not to say that we'll be two months into our marriage and end up pregnant. I'm a firm believer in 'What's for you won't go past you'

Try not to overthink the whole work situation. My OH did that and came to the conclusion that we'll be ready for kids when we reach retirement age.

Good Luck!

I don't understand this at all. If you are ready, then you are ready, and you continue to try for a baby after the wedding night. If you're not, then you wait. Am I missing the point here?!

The whole OP just sounded very odd to me.

How exactly do you intend to try for a baby on your wedding night? are you just not going to take the pill on that day?

like the others have said i dont really see the point of this? is it so it can be a romantic story that you conceived on your wedding day? either you are ready for a baby or you are not!

To answer the orginal question I think its a little odd to try for one night they not again for 18 month or so... to be honest sorry. tThe likehood of you falling preg on one particular day is very slim, as they have other posters said. I can think of one hitcher this has happened too.

AJ i think TTC and having unprotected sex is completely different. If only it was as easy as dtd as much as possible as others on BT will say also.

OP, I understand what you're suggesting as your course of action, but I do feel it's a bit crazy! However, that's your prerogative!

As someone recently married, children are firmly on our agenda but only when we feel we can adequately give them the best start in life. We want to have more money in the bank, a family home and certain experiences under our belts. We won't be attempting to start a family until that point, but even then, we'll stop trying not to, rather than actively trying to start with - or so we think!

Sometimes accidents happen, and if that were to happen to us, we'd embrace it and readjust our plans.

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I think you just answered your own question there.

If your happy - give it a go.

Sounds odd to me because I am used to people who are trying for a baby being desperate to have one - hence not giving up when the first attempt/month isn't sucessful etc.

... which is why I feel capable to say what I think, as it's not on "BT". What success - if any - we'll have when it's our turn to start what I believe is termed "TTC" we'll obviously have to see, and share the joy and/or frustrations we experience as appropriate. Whether on BT or another forum I don't know, but I would guess that the majority of baby forums are aimed towards the mother's point of view rather than the father.

I have a lil girl who is 2 next month and a 12 week old baby boy, and we get married in 8 months, after where married, my partner would like us to have a baby - i do but not so sure as to when. I think some of your comments are a bit silly to be honest, if you try for a baby one night then dont for 18months, then you really cant be ready for a baby. Children dont just slot into your plans, you need to work around them, it can take months even years to concieve a child! x

EWSS.

I don't get it. Are you asking our opinion about whether to ttc?

To create a "novelty" story?

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I don't have any issues with you doing it (a happy accident myself!), I think it just struck people as a little odd that you might actively seek an 18 month break after your first go.

Good luck, whatever you decide!

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Well, I won't, because a)it's just not viable right now with my career and b)it would entail having my implant removed and put back in just for one night - not fun! I don't see why you shouldn't do that if you want to though.

I've got to say that, despite having been on forums of various sorts for the last 10 years, I'll probably be steering clear of most baby-related ones when the time comes. From my very limited experience I think they'd just make my head explode.

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I actually think it sounds quite romantic,if you are willing to take the chance on your wedding then i suspect it might be quite difficult to stop at that you might think it would be nice to conceive the week of your wedding or the month or in the first year ha ha.

Good luck anyway.