My mum and I have been to a meeting today with my dad's oncologist where she advised us that they won't offer him any more treatment, but will obviously manage his pain. She's loathe to give a timescale, but suggested that he only has a few weeks left. She also said she would talk to my dad this afternoon and make him aware of the situation (he's been in hospital for a week and on Morphine). Until today Dad's been very "positive" talking about when he gets home etc... Both she and the nurse who has been looking after Dad said that they think he's aware of the prognosis.
Mum and I were with Dad this evening when the oncologist came to see him, and although she talked about him coming home, she didn't mention that there would be no more treatment. After she'd left Dad's making all these plans for the future - when he's better, regained his strength, and said that after his next dose of chemo he'll be much better... I spoke to his nurse privately who said he'd try to talk to Dad this evening and see if he is aware, because both Mum and I felt that we are effectively "lying" to him.
Since I've got home and talked to my husband, I'm now wondering if he does know, but is just completely in denial about it. He could be trying to "protect" Mum (and me) as well. And if he is in denial, how the hell do we play this? My mum's been in tears thinking she's lying to him.
So those with medical backgrounds - how likely is it that this is denial rather than the medical team haven't spelled it out to him. My dad's not a stupid man, and TBH I really think that if he isn't aware, then he would want to be.
The other (relatively) minor issue is that he keeps trying to pinch stuff from the hospital - he's given my mum a roll of tape to "take home" as well as trying to get her to fit half a dozen hospital towels in her handbag (she said she couldn't fit them in, and we left them there!). This isn't really my dad either - he might have had the odd bottle of shampoo from a hotel, but that was his limit! Is this "normal"?
