Men & stress

Im not sure about stressed by decisions, but my OH can only take a certain amount of wedding talk before he just stops paying attention. It's not that he doesn't care, its just to him one bridesmaid dress is the same as another and whether the envelopes are the right colour, really don't matter to him!

Could you maybe raise your concerns in a joking way so you can air them? Its probably just over-sensitivity but a little reassruance from him would probably be enough.

Mine has done a pretty sterling job of pretending it's not happening tbh! I did all the research, and all the small things (like thank you presents) myself, and have then just consulted him on the big things once I've narrowed them down enough, e.g. here are three options, which is your favourite? I don't think it's the wedding, we do this for holidays etc too! I just think that he doesn't have the obsessive attention to detail that I have, and it just doesn't bother him that much! You'll find a happy medium as you go along and he'll get used to the idea I'm sure!

Yeah i've seen it too. A few weeks ago (only a month or two into planning) he's said he's had enough wedding stuff - all we'd done is book venue and tog. And now he keeps bringing up seating plans getting stressed about it, and stressed at me when i say that's a job for next year once invites have actually gone out. Doesn't help he's constantly going through a bad time at work during all this. I am feeling a bit on eggshells when i bring up wedding stuff, so am just trying to focus on my bits like accessories/hair/dress/bridesmaids which he doesn't need an input in. Honestly, whilst he's busy with work i can't see this changing, but i'm hoping on the day he'll realise how it's all come together x

MrsSheptobe - That sounds just like my OH! With our venues I have looked at so many, asked him for ideas of what he does and doesn't want. The best answer I got was "I'll know it when I see it"... which would be difficult as he wasn't looking! Oh, he also won't look at brochures because he claims he'd rather see the real thing?

I then kept making little comments about how he was reacting with complete apathy or seemed needlessly arguementative sometimes and eventually he came over and explained that it's because he always imagined that he'd be engaged for a longer time and other things regarding an ex... the talk made me feel better (it probably doesn't sound like it should have!) The main reason it's being done so 'soon' is because he wants to start a family sooner rather than later and I don't want to have a child before I get married...

OP - We (as a couple) have always been really good at keeping communication open, which I think is the main thing, even if that also means knowing how much space your OH needs. It'll work out, just need to give him time to catch up... he asked for a reason!

I think I could understand easier if he asked for time out - its the unusual acting that Im finding weird to cope with. Hes been away with work all week and just spoke to him and he sounds really flat and deflated so now Im just thinking and fearing the worst all the time :-(

Aww, honey, I think you need to sit him down and ask him about it. You don't want to be worrying x