Mental health advice *sens*

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Sorry I can't offer any advice as my experience with mental health is virtually zero but I just wanted to say, I know two people who have ME, is that the same as Chronic Fatigue?

Like what you said above, they always seem to be fine when it comes to things they want to do, e.g. going to parties, seeing their boyfriend etc. But when it comes to things they don't want to do (work, school, helping around the house etc), they suddenly can't manage to get out of bed. Is it purely psychological? I know this is probably a controversial thing to say, but my patience wears a bit thin because it just sounds like selective laziness. My knowledge is very limited though so I should perhaps read up about it more before saying such things. Oh well, I've said it now.

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I totally get that, but doesn't everyone feel like that to a certain extent?

An example of what I was referring to is one of the people I know getting her very poorly old Nanna out of the house in the cold to collect her from school because she was so tired and ill but then having her Nanna wait outside while she rushed around getting changed/done up so that her Nanna could then drop her at her boyfriends house. I am pretty sure that she is playing on her supposed illness to get out of doing things she doesn't want to do. I'm not even convinced she is ill at all.

The other one I mentioned was having time off work with fatigue but then going to spinning class...?

I was talking to H about it last night and he is of the opinion that ME is not an actual thing. That it's a made up illness. I'm not sure I agree but in the people I know who have been diagnosed, it seems like it hits at very selective times.

Panj I agree that some people use it as an excuse, but you can't tarnish everyone with that brush.

I know someone with ME who moved to Malta because she said she felt better in the sun, she lives pretty much normally over there.

I know a few people with ME who seem to have it selectively.

And I know a woman with ME who works full time and runs a house and looks after her elderly mother and that's pretty much it. It's rare to see her out socially because she is so exhausted from doing the things she has to do, so there are people out there who are genuinely ill and not being selective with it at all.

Sorry about your H OP. I have no useful advice but I really hope things get better soon.

Sorry if it came across that way, I didn't mean it to at all. I was just talking about the two girls I know.

I didn't mean that you do, you sound more unsure of what you think rather than saying one way or the other. I just couldn't think of another way to word what I was saying! I meant more the collective you in general, not you as in just you. Does that make any sense at all?! Probably not! Ha.

What EF says makes a lot of sense. I actually had this from 13-16. I barely went to school in those years but luckily kept on too of schoolwork as best I could. It wasn't selective laziness, and it blimming was a real illness for me. I wanted nothing more than to be with my friends having a normal school life but as EF said most of the day was spent in utter exhaustion. I had good days so I went to school on those. Because people only saw me on those good days I'd get lots of stick for 'not being ill' etc. It does miff me a bit when people say its not a real illness

To the OP I'm not sure what to suggest apart from talking but he doesn't seem very open atm. Keep letting him know you're there for him and he may feel he wants to talk one day.

EF sums it up really well,

All I would add is remind him that sometimes it takes trying several people before you find the right counsellor for you so don't just give up if the first one doesn't work.

(I speak from experience I only ever found one counsellor that worked for me I found sevral and 2 physchitrits (spelling?) that didn't work).

Also don't forget about your self finding somewhere you can talk about the situation will help you to.