MIL Help!!

Erm no, you're not overreacting.

She probably doesn't even realise how many toes she's stamping on. You and your OH need to have a conversation with her, and soon I would say if she's done all of that since Christmas.

Your OH needs to take the lead though.

As Kharv says, you both need to sit her down and have a chat with her. This is your day you guys need to have what you want!

Completely what Kharv said. Sit down with your fiance and work out when you want to even start thinking about those details and then get him to tell her that you'll ask them for help as and when you need to. She shouldn't be going off buying things without checking with you. Good luck - difficult MILs are a minefield! Nip it in the bud early, it can only get worse if you leave it to fester.

Exactly what the others said. You are not overreacting. Interfering MIL's are bad enough as it is but actually buying dresses?! And telling people they are bridesmaids without asking you?!

Nip it in the bud, but you will need OH's support since it is his family.

Make it clear that whilst it is an exciting family occassion, ultimatley it is yours and OH's wedding day, ideas and suggestions are welcome but you and OH will be making all final decisions and may not agree with all their suggestions.

Firstly, congratulations on your engagement and welcome to Hitched!

Kharv and CB are bang on, get this nipped in the bud QUICK!

Urgh, what a nightmare, that would drive me insane! My MIL2B is a right royal pain in the arse when it comes to my step-daughters, as they haven't had their real mum in their lives much and she feels it's her role even though I've been with their dad nearly 3 years and we all live together she is constantly treading on my toes when I tell her things I'm going to buy for the girls etc so was fully expecting her to be like it for the wedding but so far she's been about as interested as a dead fish. No woman H2B has been with has ever been good enough for the girls etc and she really doesn't give much of a toss about her son, their dad, it's all about the girls.

Be interesting to see when it comes to choosing their dresses etc if she'll chime in but it'll be in one ear and out the other and if she decided to buy them anything it won't be used so it's her money being wasted.

Whoa there, I'll just go put that soapbox back shall I haha

Firstly congrats!!

and no you aren't over reacting!! i think your H2B should mention it (from him not as a message from you) i think it's really nice that she wants to get involved but actually buying dresses and telling people they are BM's is too far!

i think sometimes people get over excited and don't even realise! maybe mention it in a way that she doesn't feel you don't want her input at all but that it's you and OH's final decision....

are they contributing to the wedding? both our parents are but we have been straight from the start and said whilst we are very grateful for the money and will take any suggestions etc ultimately we are having the final say on EVERYTHING! but i know my mum and dad have friends who paid for their daughters wedding and expected to make ALL decisions (yes really!! aparently you pay, you make the choices! )

could you appoint her a task that you are less bothered about? maybe researching something? that way she is distracted by that?

i think one issue that my MIL is feeling is that traditionally the grooms parents aren't really involved in the planning and this is difficult to take, i know my mum would want to be involved if my brother got married! so maybe she's trying to tell you that she does want to be involved!?! (my MIL2B litrally just said 'urm i know it's not traditional for us to be involved but can we not do that tradition?') so maybe ask her opinion on something or involve her yourself and she may lay off with the unwanted involvement!!

x

Ha ha thanks everyone, glad to see you all agree, I didn't know if I sounded ungrateful!! I told the OH lastnight that something needs to be said, we've only been engaged a couple of weeks!! He agrees and said he'll have a word so hopefully she'll back off a bit ?

No she isn't contributing to it, (as we are paying for it) however when she said about the niece being a bridesmaid, I think she could tell I was a bit miffed so she said she'll pay for her dress and things but thats wasn't why I was miffed!!

Oh well hopefully after the little chat they have it'll all be sorted ?

Sam x

Hiya,

My MIL 2B was like that when we first got engaged and was driving me a bit mad (about 3 phonecalls a day!!) but in the lead up to Christmas and since has completely backed off. Im guessing she has lost interest which completely suits me fine!! lol