MIL nightmare update

not at all!! i want our first few days of married life to be just us!!! i think if its upsetting you that much which it seems it is then you really need to say somethig to OH as hard as it may be :/

Not sure of an easy solution but what you say is entirely reasonable.

You get married. You have a few days (or weeks) together enjoying each other's company away from the pressures of the world. Then you go back to work.

I'm fairly lucky as I do get on ok with my in-laws (and they seem to like me too) but it does get claustrophobic spending time with them because, effectively, my b2b is still "their little girl" and although we have as much space as we need, we still feel obliged to be sociable with them and spend time with them - and I guess this is exactly the sort of situation you're thinking you'll find yourself in?

What does your OH think? Dreading the thought of spending some of your first few married days with the in-laws in tow, or really glad because they doesn't meet up often?

Straight after the wedding is YOU time. Both of you. It doesn't involve friends or family (unless you choose to, for example by inviting people to join you for an overseas wedding) and I think really she needs to understand that you are now her priority, not her parents, and whilst you both appreciate her really generous and kind offer, you'd much rather spend some quality time together adjusting to your new situation.

I can't think of anything worse than getting married on saturday and back to work on the monday, in all honesty.

Aj, she is marrying a she not a he!!!

We did speak about it briefly last night after she had gotten off the phone to her and I already had my defensive head on and I told her that I dont want to have to have a quick weeks honeymoon after we have been away with her mom cuz we simply cannot afford anything else and she is completely torn between the two. She wants to go away with her Mom as they havnt been away together as a family since they we little (but then saying that neither have we and we live in the same flippin Country, in fact County!! lol)

I suppose the other thing we could do is delay the honeymoon and make a really big thing out of it. Its just so hard to try and envisage these things as we cant magic the money out of no-where! grrrrrrrrr

Difficult one because of the distance between you normally...

Any chance of a mini moon the two of you before flying to France? And how about a compromise of 4 days rather than a whole week?

Sorry I don't keep track of who is marrying what, I just revert to 'default'. No offense intended.

AJ no offence taken you daft sod!?

In answer to your Q about whether she is happy to spend time with them she really is stuck in the middle as she wants me to be happy and comfortable with it, but yet at the same time wants to keep her mom happy too as she is coming 12000miles to see her only daughter get married!! Oh and as for going back to work in between, we would have no choice as holiday allowance would dictate that i couldnt have a week off work doing nothing!

RAEF - Yes it was originally suggested about going away for a few days, but that has dragged into a week, i suppose i could slip that into the convo and see what comes of that.

Couldnt you do a few days with her mum and then go on somewhere else? I would sit down with her and realistically work out the cost of this holiday and a honeymoon and she may see its not possible to do both!

I was going to say something similar to Rae, couldn't you and Kat go to France straight after the wedding and have some you time then her folks join you the week after. That way you get the best of both.

I know you said that your dream honeymoon would be Thailand so you could save up and go later in theyear or even on your first anniversary, that what me and OH are doing as there's no way we can afford an expensive honeymoon so soon after the wedding.

Yeh Grace, thats an idea, perhaps I could suggest that we go away beginning of August, that way we could at least have a week or 10 days away before we go with them. Ive got so many ideas swimming around my head.

Could her mum come early to the uk and then Your b2b could spend time with her mum before the wedding meaning she gets time with her mum and you can still go on honeymoon as planned... Your b2b could go for a long spa weekend or something???

She is coming the end of June and going back the second week of August. I did think about that actually maybe we could go before, but its going to be such a rush before the wedding i think i would have a nervous break down. I think its more spending time with all her children and us than it is with just my OH and her. I cant think about it anymore im driving myself round the twist. Just feel a bit pants about the whole thing really :-(