Mini MOAN

I feel you. I had this with the hen weekend. We made it QUITE CLEAR that if they wanted to come, they had to pay the £50 deposit by the second week of March. Only 3 people paid, which was a bit hurtful as all 12 of them had promised they would come, but I made my peace with the idea of it being a small do. I've since cancelled one of the places we had booked for accommodation and sent a message out to everyone saying 'we've not had a deposit from you, assume you're not coming...but see you at the wedding!', etc. etc....all of a sudden I've had an influx of 'Ooooh, no...I definitely want to come!!' from people we'd not heard hide nor hair from since the original email was sent!! ?

Had the travel thing too. FMIL was on about this one the other day (bearing in mind our venue is only 20 mins away from where everyone lives)..."How are we going to get Gran to / from the wedding? She'll want to leave early, which means one of us will have to drive her back, which means we'll have to find somewhere to park and we won't be able to have a drink all day...shall we arrange a minibus, etc. etc." Quite hilariously, FFIL stepped up and said "She lived through the war, I'm sure she can get in a bloody taxi by herself!". To be fair, she's the only old person at the wedding, so I didn't really think. But still. Good point, well made!

Do you have a wedding website? We've just stuck all info on there and letting people sort it out for themselves. It also has a quite useful car-sharing page where people coming from the same place can arrange lift shares; not sure if any use?

You have every right to moan. Other people are the source of every irritation in my experience! No matter how much you love them! Think I might become a hermit.

Can I tag on this one?! I got told by my mum last week that my sister (who got married last sept so knows all this stuff too well), wouldn't be rsvp'ing as she didn't see the point! That, apparently, as the Bride's sister, I shouldn't have sent her one as she didn't send us invites and that I should 'know' that she'll be at it! Grrrrr!!!!

Moan over, thanks!

Moan away ladies. Thanks for the responses, good to know it's just not me. Feeling a bit low with the whole hen do stuff and seriously wishing that we had just had a small wedding! I know it will be the best day, but I'm hitting a really fed up point now! The RSVP thing is incredibly annoying. I know people warned me that there would be quite a bit of chasing, but I didn't think it would be this bad!

Thank you for the suggestion of the wedding website, we do indeed have one - with so much information, but I'm still finding myself sorting trains for people and booking travel for them - like I say, I'm so happy they are coming but I'm just starting to feel overwhelmed and wanted to enjoy these last few months! The car share idea is a great one - I hadn't thought of that!

Oh girls what a pain!

It is a weird thing I think, because if it was ANY other occasion, birthday party, anniversary or Christening to name a few, there would be NONE of this!! Obviously, it is lovely that friends and family want to be part of it, but how hard is it?!

Just be grateful you have not received a list (laminated no less) from you FMIL with things she wants us to consider through out wedding planning. This list contains all case scenarios with OH's nan - if she is alive, if she is not! I kid you not!! Also how disappointed she will be if I choose not to wear a veil (which I am not). Basically, she would like us to have her daughters wedding! I swiftly handed this list to OH who has considered framing it to one day show our own children so they can appreciate how lucky they are!

Yikes! That is some seriously amazing FMIL behavior Childhood-Sweet! Framing it is a great idea! One day we will all look back and laugh .... (I hope!) ha.... ha..

?

Haha that is my plan!! Not sure what I would do if I couldn't whine to you all! Good luck

This thread has really made me smile as we are going through exactly the same thing and I'm also getting dragged into people's wedding outfit traumas! My poor bridesmaids have been bombarded with ridiculous questions about the hen weekend too! I am getting good at gritting my teeth as I know that it will only get worse of the next few weeks ? We are getting married on 1st June though so there is light at the end of the tunnel....

Did she laminate it because she knew you would probably rip it up otherwise and chuck it in her face...?! ?

Unbelievable!

...and because everything must be wipe clean ? (yes...one of those houses)

Whoop date twin Teabag I am getting married on 1st June too. yesterday we had someone that we were chasing for an rsvp reply to us on facebook saying that five of them were coming but they would let us know about the sixth nearer the time 'I hope thats O.K'. Errr not really, you are already later than the rsvp date as it is. At this stage it is 'yes we are coming' or 'no we are not coming'. I also had a friend say 'I can come if I can share a taxi'. I said that if she can't share a taxi I will pay for the d*mn taxi because it will be cheaper than having a no show at my wedding when I have already payed for their place....although I missed out the d*mn bit, trying not to lose any friends and all that.....

Seriously, I just DO NOT UNDERSTAND some people!!!!!! GAH! It will all be worth it though!

This is one of the things I know I'll be worrying about.

For our engagement party (I know, I know, not quite the same) I got pretty much no RSVPs because everybody either assumed I knew they would be there or just didn't think it mattered whether they responded or not - the venue actually needed a list of all guests, it wasn't just me wanting official replies (which I didn't even need, just word of mouth would have been fine!).

I think I generally have a family who don't think they need to RSVP so I can imagine this will be my post in 3 years time! Sorry, that's not really very helpful is it?!

It's good that you're prepared Gibbigan! I have made a promise that from now on I will be the first person to officially RSVP for EVERY event. Even if it is not required!

RSVPs worry me. It's not that I think our wedding is so exciting that everyone would have instantly wanted to RSVP immediately. It's pretty much that I think it'll be so low on other people's priorities that if they don't reply in the first couple of days they'll forget until after the deadline, if they remember it at all.

Did you give people an RSVP date?

We received an invite in January for a wedding in July. We only just responded as we both travel a lot and I wasn't sure if we would be in the country

Sorry but that is very funny about the laminated list Childhood Sweetheard! If rather rude / annoying / ignorant etc of your FMIL. The laminating disturbs me slighty...

Haha it is really very funny actually!!

This is why we have done RSVP's with the Save the Dates. I know a lot of people won't let us know. Then with the invites we will just ask for the menu choices back. This acts as a second RSVP oppertunity (hopefully)!

Yes, we printed a very strict deadline on the invites. But that still didn't make is fool proof. My other half had to drive round the whole day chasing responses.

I had the same for my hen do, people dropping out throughout and even the day before. as for transport for the guests, I reckon they can shove it. We babysit enough grown ups throughout the wedding as it is. They should be grateful they are invited! I have 237 guests!

237 guests!!!! Wow!!

Yes, there definitely has to come a point when you have to let people organise themselves, we can't do everything!! We had a deadline on our rsvps and as we also had menu options, I thought people would be more keen to respond!

Generally we worked out they only looked at the actual date of the wedding, and then put the invite down! Some people didn't see the RSVP slip, shocking! Then when people did start replying they added on random guests that we soon erased off their invite!

I shouldn't be laughing -if my FMIL was internet savvy she would be on this website stealing your FMIL idea about the laminated list...

It is odd the way people expect you to sort out their travel arrangements for weddings. When Mr Erin and l get invited to weddings we get outselves there and take ourselves home. I don't see why anyone else should sort it out?!

I shouldn't be laughing -if my FMIL was internet savvy she would be on this website stealing your FMIL idea about the laminated list...

It is odd the way people expect you to sort out their travel arrangements for weddings. When Mr Erin and l get invited to weddings we get outselves there and take ourselves home. I don't see why anyone else should sort it out?!

Snap! Though on a smaller scale as we have 40 for all day and 60 in the evening! One of the one's who hasn't RSVP'd though lives 3 doors away. Like..seriously, what's up with that?

Most of those we've invited have RSVPed, there's a few of H2B's fmaily who haven't ad a few friends, but other than than we're all good. Nobody has asked us to help with sorting travel arrangements, probably because a call to Transport Direct would tell them what buses to catch! We have had some people want to bring people to our wedding so they can basically care for them though, kind of annoying

As for wedding party not replying, yep, again, our usher hasn't got back to us. When is your RSVP date? We've said if he isn't suited and booted by RSVP date (17th April, wedding is 17th May) that's it, he's out the picture. Given wedding invites went out 1st December 2012 and we asked him in person if he'd be our usher back in Feb 2010, he's not kept up the best record for communication. It's now 12 days to cut-off day and H2B has given up chasing up on him. His Dad has visited him, he's got his Mum's bf to text him, messaged him on Facebook and rang and text him several times but..nothing. If they don't reply, they don't attend..simple as!

As for your hen. Don't sweat it..you know who your friends are! My hen (from what I gather, but it's a surprise) is action-packed, booze fuelled weekender. There are only going to be 7 of us but we'll have a great time! I wouldn't worry about numbers. It's quality over quantity!

MrsStobe13 xx