Miss, Mrs or Ms???

I have kept my own name but changed my title. And, yes, it is a bit strange, I do still (nearly a year later) assume people are talking about my Mum when they refer to Mrs me! (added confusion here as our 'wedding' was actually only a blessing and we're not legally married yet, so I'm only an informal Mrs, anything legal still has to be Miss)

At one stage OH was thinking of taking my surname too, that would have been doubly weird as he shares the same Christian name as my Dad - so we would have become my parents!!

I had a debate about this at work. I'm making my fiance's name for everything except work, and for work I want to be Miss A. However, my boss told me that once I'm married, I can't be Miss A, I will have to be Ms A or Mrs A. We had a good old debate but she was adamant.

But I hate Ms and Mrs A is my Mum, so I'm sticking with Miss regardless - other married women in my profession have done it, so if it does for them it'll do for me!

So I think the "proper" way to do is to be Mrs... but just go with what you want.

I think the correct way would be Mrs whichever name you chose so if retaining your own name then yes you have the same as your mum. unless you're a lover of ms you are married so you are Mrs.

I know it seems strange to become your mum.but if you take his name you become your.motherjnlaw. It's no different.

As an adult, I've always been Ms Ash. It is nobody's business what my marital status is.

I'm going for Mrs. I am changing my name though, but I think I would have preferred Mrs even if I hadn't been changing my name. I think it's nice to signify that you're married with your title.

To me it's a symbol of commitment to be a Mrs, I wouldn't have got married if I was going to stay a Miss.

There's no correct way, you can do whatever you like. I kept my name but changed my title to Mrs. It does sound weird at first, but I'm slowly getting used to it. It helps in my case that my mum doesn't have the same surname as me, so when I hear "Mrs mysurname" it doesn't sound like people are talking about my mum!

I think its quite a personal decision. I'm now Mrs H. but I haven't yet changed my passport, bank details etc - I'll do that as I get round to it.

I'm between jobs so from that perspective I'll remain my birth name without a title as per always, until I find a new job then I'll change to Mrs H.

This. If it's a symbol of commitment to change your title, by that reasoning a man should change his title, which he does not. Does that mean he is less committed? I hope not!

Some interesting points of view here. TBH I'd rather not even use a title but for some reason it is often a 'required field' when completing forms so I will need to have one. As far as I am concerned using Mrs has got nothing to with commitment or lack of commitment if I use Ms or Miss. Standing in church saying our vows in front of our nearest and dearest and exchanging rings is surely more than enough proof of my commitment. Plus who do I need to prove my commitment too? (Other than my h2b of course). I think I will probably go with Ms but as I am a teacher I will probably remain a 'Miss' while in school lol.

I work with several people who have married, not taken their partner's surname, but become a Mrs. I might be wrong, but I think it is the norm in Muslim culture for women to keep their own surnames but become a Mrs.

I'm taking my H2B's surname and becoming a Mrs because it is important to me that we have the same surname, as a symbol of our unity. Each to their own though.

I'm also a teacher so I'll probably still get "Miiiiisssss!" at work though!

You can keep your name, but you will still be a mrs. I have already changed my surname so I will be doing the same, just going from a miss to a Mrs.

Not that I don't appreciate this argument, but I just don't see why it has to be his surname. Also you can be Ms Hisname if you want, why should he have the right to keep his marital status private and not you? I'm also a schoolteacher and my students know I'm married but haven't even questioned the fact I haven't changed my name. They've always struggled to say 'Ms' though, it's become a bit of a joke, so often it's just 'Miss.' There are lots of kids in my form that have parents with different names to them, siblings with different names etc. so I hope this is a sign that UK convention of taking the groom's name is dying out. Although it does bug me when kids automatically get given their dad's surname when their parents aren't married, why not the mother's name?

It's not really an argument for taking his name but... I just don't mind that I take his surname and not the other way around. I also just don't mind that, if they're not with him in person to see the ring on his finger, people won't know he's married but they will know that I am. I'm going to be proud of that fact. I'm also really excited about it!

Thankfully I don't need to worry about this. My title is Dr. ?

I choose to be Mrs married name, I chose this as this is what I wanted. Like everybody should choose what suits them and the person they are marrying, whether that's man taking woman, woman staying maiden or choosing a completely different name, whatever you as an individual feels comfortable with.

personally, i love being Mrs hubby name, and I was unhappy at work yesterday my payslip arrives miss married name!! However, if a customer states no title at work I always refer to them as Ms surname as I feels it's quite inoffensive and I know some people can be very sensitive about matters like this.

As much as I disagree with there even being a way of telling a woman's marital status so easily while this isn't the case for males, whether someone refers to themselves as Miss, Mrs or Ms, I suppose we have to be grateful that there is a choice. It bugs me that the convention in this country still seems to be to become 'Mrs Husband' which sometimes makes people feel there is no choice involved, but at least some of us recognise that it is our right to choose and there is a thought process behind it.

I agree. I'm glad we have the choice.

Wish I was a "Dr" now though! Sounds much more posh than what I'm going to be!

Mm, agreed. We're all very lucky that we have a choice and also have OHs who respect our choices. Because my H took my name, me changing my title seemed like a good compromise for us

I agree with this!! It should be down to your own personal preference - just because I am going to Mrs Married-Name it doesn't make my marriage any different to someone who is keeping their name!!

On the olden days a wife became Mrs Fred Jones and took the full name my mum gets a card for her birthday in post addressed to Mrs dads full name

I'm keeping my name and not sure what I'm going to do - in a couple of years I will be a Dr, so that will be my title, but I'm not sure what to do in the mean time!

If I want to be Mrs MyName, do I need to do anything formal about it? Just notify people as and when, use the name when completing application forms, or would I need to make sure passport/driving licence etc. are all formally changed to Mrs too?? It kind of defeats 50% of the reason I'm keeping my own name (laziness! )

If you check your passport and drivers Milly_Bride it probably only says your name not Miss. In which case you adopt the title Mrs but wouldn't have to alter them. If I go that route I won't bother changing anything and just use Ms or Mrs on any future forms I complete.

Good point!

Roll on becoming a Dr, makes things much easier

That's what I plan to do too. Still undecided on Ms or Mrs though

I think I'm mostly Mrs. Sometimes if people that I decide have no reason to know my marital status are pushy I insist on Ms just to dig my heels in lol.

Then again I'm divorced for years so I'm already Mrs anyway. I'm just not sure I can be bothered with the hassle of all the paperwork to change my name to his and banks and driving licence and my passport is in constant use. Then I would have to do it all again in SPain. Hassle.

If I change my mind I can do it down the line. If I don't want to change it I can do nothing. Although I'm sure my will invalidates on marriage. Need to check that. Depends on how it's worded.

That's on my list of things to do... though as an academic Dr rather than a lifesaving one