Monday morning work problems, one a WWYD

Leave it a while, reply last thing today with "not down, busy". Gives you a reason not to chat in the future, too.

Thanks, will do. I am normally a friendly person but worried now that it has been misread. Will continue with the curtness!

Stand back from this one and don't feel bad about being curt. He's a predator who knows he's senior to you in work and knows exactly what he's doing . . . . he may turn nasty or he may have a new friend by the end of the week. Either way, I bet he's done it before and will do it again.

So, a nice guy sends a collaegue a few light-hearted / possibly flirty emails and suddenly he's some evil "predator" with a history of harassment ?

That's a bit of a leap.

Has the chap actually done anything wrong or is it just that you don't want to give him the wrong idea?

Pint & a Pie, Ok, you could be right. It just reminded me too much of an old boss of mine ,,,, however, this guy is senior and hasn't taken the hint that she doesn't want to be over friendly.

Fair enough.

she hasnt given him a hint. she s totally changed her tone, and he has (understandably) asked if she s ok.

He just seems to send a lot of friendly emails ('how are you today' type stuff) rather than work related stuff. Admittedly I am (was) friendly to him but within work related emails. I don't feel comfortable with getting emails that are just friendly, unless they are part of a joke email sent to a group (in which case I just find them time wasting!).

He is relatively new to his role but has worked with me previously on a different project, he doesn't know any of my colleagues that well so its always me that will get asked stuff that anyone could answer/do for him. iyswim.

So he hasn't done anything wrong in the harrassment sense, there is nothing I would officially complain about. I think he is just unprofessional. Or has got the wrong idea about me. I just don't want emails asking about how I am and if I had a nice weekend.

well, thats makes you even more miserable than me then ?

i think youre totally overreacting.

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I think you're being quite unfair to this chap, based on what you've said. It's hardly "unprofessional" to be friendly to your colleagues.

Anyway, if you don't want to be friendly or receive non-work emails from him, just be polite but distant. I think it's inevitable that he's going to be a bit confused though, given that you were previously friendly.

Email tone is so difficult to read but I think you're being very harsh on his intentions.

Tumbleweed - people like you make me very, very scared.

I missed tumbleweeds post. PMSL at "he s a predator" FFS ??

I quite like being miserable! But I think you could be right. I've also taken offence at someone else (that I barely know) today asking if I got home ok from an event. A daytime event 30 minutes from where I live. Why on earth wouldn't I have? Do I have 'vulnerable person' tattoed on my heard or something? Sheesh.

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thats you that is, when you next send a friendly email to a younger female colleague ?

theyre just making conversation. i agree that it is a bizarre thing to ask, and its similar to when you go to a meeting, or someones house etc and they say "did you find it ok?" no you daft twat, i m still lost.

so yes, youre miserable

I have a true vision of loveliness working for me. I will now be extra careful not to be friendly or even pass a compliment on her work. Neanderthal grunting may even be perceived as harassment.

I had this today, got caught in a huge rain shower walking to the dentists, when I got there I was soaked through, two seperate people asked 'oh, is it still raining?'

'Nope, i just don't believe in towels or dry clothes, so got dressed, stepped under our shower and made my way here'