Money instead of wedding presents....

This has been the way in France for a very long time (over 20 years), but it seems GB has remained a bit traditional with gift lists etc.

We are having a honeymoon fund, I hope it works ?

It's fine as long as you don't use a money poem!

Amen to that Mrs Spink!

Just explain what you want to use it for and it'll be fine. Say you have everything you need for the home, but you want to buy a new sofa or something like that. Or the honeymoon perhaps? Or, like us, maybe you're planning to move in the future and you want to save it to buy stuff for the new place.

Maybe even make a note of how much everyone gives you, and write them a thank-you note with an example of what you would buy with the money? a lamp, a kettle, 1/12 of that new sofa? - Just an idea.

Just as with most wedding things, you can't please everyone, so please yourself!

One recommendation was to have both so those who do not like giving money like a gran or someone can buy something which may not cost that much

I see nothing wrong in it at all...

I would rather give a couple money for them to actually use, rather then buying them a toaster which would most likely be on Ebay or in their loft not being used when I went to see them!

xxx

We asked for money, but did a small gift list with john lewis for any guests not comfortable with giving cash, i think about 12 people bought from the list, every one else seemed happy to give money.

I think this is perfectly acceptable. I've only been to about 5 weddings in my adult life. Out of those only one had a gift list and the others I gave money. We are planning on asking for money as we have lived together for years so there are no 'housey' things we need.

I think that it is perfectly acceptable and have given money at many weddings, it's nice and easy and you know they'll appreciate it and spend it on what they'd really like. Most people live together these days before marrying and don't really need the traditional wedding list.

We didn't ask for money, just didn't include a gift list and as invitations were sent from my parents when people asked about gifts my mum just said that we'd appreciate money for our honeymoon. Most guests gave money and we had one or two gifts like a nice silver photo frame, canteen of cutlery and yummy bottle of pink champagne, which went down very well the day after the wedding! ?

I guess it does stop the 3 toasters and 2 kettles situation!!

We're not sending out gift information with our invitations. If people ask then we're planning to have a small gift list at John Lewis. We would give them the details and also say that we'd appreciate dollars for our honeymoon (hoping to go skiing in America). That way it's the best of both worlds hopefully ?

I was going to do a wedding ABC, and on this under gifts i was going to ask for money in a polite way has we have decided to decorate our bedroom with new furniture new king szed bed, duing to having 4 children we dont seem to have time for our selves, and we also want a tattoo so rather then end up with unwanted gifts,

I think the money poems are very cheesy, so wouldnt opt for that. I think making a small list of a few bits and pieces and adding gift vouchers to that is a good idea. people who ask you personally then you can explain that you are not really needing a lot etc and that you have received money from some people and that its helped a lot.

We're asking for money (and not using any poems!) simply because we've both got a lot of our own stuff from living together for a while, and we're about to buy our first house. So in asking for contributions to our house fund we're wanting to buy things like paint and wallpaper and tiles, and maybe a new sofa etc.

So yeah no list, but contributions. No one has objected so far.

Personally, we're not asking for anything as we just want people to share the day. We are on a really tight budget, and from previous experience, it can be an expensive enough day for guests taking into account outfits, taxis home, drinks at venues are always more expensive. I just think it's a bit cheeky to ask for money, kind of takes away the meaning of them coming, but that's just my opinion!

I'd say if you're going to ask for money, dont use a cheesy poem!

Personally we haven't asked for anything. People know we live together and I don't think I know anyone who'd actually think we don't own a toaster and therefore buy us one. I figured as there's nothing we needed we'd just not ask for anything and be grateful for anything we do get.

But I agree with the others - no cheesy poems!

LOL - Like in many of the responses below, on the continent this is the norm. And THEY think we are posh, and more civilised for having a wedding list... In Romania where I am originally from (tho I am more English now after 15 years here and one certificate of Naturalisation later LOL), they only give money. The bridesmaids go around at the reception with an ornate basket in which they collect the envelopes from guests. They also used to tell the guest what's an acceptable minimum because usually this covered the cost per head at the reception. These days they find it more civilised the UK way and started havinf lists. Usually it would be only the closest family who would buy a gift, but a big one, such as grandparents would buy you a new fridge, or a microwave etc, whilst parents have been known regularly to gift the couple's first flat, as in Romania it has got notoriously hard to get on the property ladder since the communism fell.