Right where to begin , i met my oh on face book, he sent me a message , i replied , met 2 weeks later after hours of e mailing , been together ever since (2 years and 3 months) well met his mother the first night we met , she was quite offish , well one night while oh was stayng at mine my ex oh decided to cause trouble and attacked new oh on the drive way , oh went home (yes was still living with his mum lol)just to add he was not hurt or damaged in any way . and she had a bit of a fit about it , so next time i went to his , his mother had a proper go at me, i have been raised to respect my mother , so i let her finish and just walked out , i didnt scream or shout or swear at her or anything . well the mil since then has refused to have anything to do with me or the kids , oh moved in with us after a couple of months . the mil wont even discuss the dogs cause they r our dogs. so oh stopped going to see his mum cause his life revolves around me the kids n the dogs so he said whet was the point in visiting cause if wasnt allowed to talk about me or the lids what was the point. through out all this even though she clearly dislikes me , i have made sure that he has gone to see her , and i have brought mothersday presents, birthday presents x mas presents etc for her .
so 2 years on i havent seen or spoken to her , she was invited to the wedding with an rsvp date , that date came and went , no reply , my mother emailed her , a friendly email, and got a reply of sorts , so oh emailed her , she said she didnt think we would want her there? so why did she think we sent the invite lol. so we got the rsvp back . she has shown no interest in the wedding in any way shape or form , so as she wont speak to me i spoke to her daughter and asked did she think her mother might like to be involved in the wedding preperations , or would she like to know a bit about what we have chosen etc , the sisters reply was proberly not , she has told her daughter not to get married as if she did she would have to give her husband half of what she owns if they got divorced . i found this rather amusing . cause in our case it would be the reverse as my family have more than his and im not in the least bit bothered . so i asked if the mil would come to a meal out , if we organised it so my parents and her and me and oh could get together and see if we could get on, the daugthers reply was proberly not , she says she has been with her oh for nearly 5 years and her mum hasnt met his parents .
so right now im thinking the mil, the woman who really cant stand me , who i have only met twice for about 10 minutes , who really doesnt seem interested in our wedding , is going to be sitting in the front row at the tower when we get married. and its freaking me out big time . i really dont want to walk up the isle worrying about her as well as everything else and im not sure what to do about it ?
i know familys all work differently and some are more disfunctional than others , but i think the thing that bugs me about it most is my kids , my mother has got umpteen grandkids and greatgrandkids , most of them not related as if somebody joins the family the kids are included ie my ex had a daughter from a previous relationship, my mother automaticaly took her on as a grandkid , even now she still considers her to be a grandkid , where as mil i dont even think she knows my kids names or how old they are, she hasnt even sent them an x mas card. they are all of an age where they know ppl have mothers and fathers and usually your dads mother is your nan, (my other half is raising the kids as a father and they chose to call him dad , they are 13, 13 and 16) and im a bit worried about them at the wedding. they know shes his mother and i will be extreamly peeved if she ignors them , they have done nothing wrong .
anyway just wanted to rant and say i am so confussed , what would you do ?
