Moving In together

It was hard for us because we were 18, I had just found out I was pregnant and we had to move in with H's mum. Enough said!

Don't know. we still don't live together. Can't wait to find out though - fingers crossed for next summer.

He's much tidier than me.

Same here which is why I said that H might not agree ?

Chores and bills!

H is inherently lazy and messy but doesn't see his own mess, he only sees mine. He also is useless with money which is really worrying as he is the sole income-earner now, and even yesterday I had a call from the landlord asking why we hadn't paid rent this month (H forgot).

I genuinely believe we wouldn't be married if we hadn't rented a house with a dishwasher. We argued non-stop about doing the dishes.

When I manage to find a job I think he will have a shock as I won't be in the house all the time tidying and cleaning and sorting out money!

I look back at our first year living together and I'm still not sure how we got through it. In the whole of our 12 years being together the first year of moving in with each other were by far the worst! We went from seeing each other twice a month because of the 200 miles between us to me moving to the Midlands knowing nothing before but a small town in the North East, I had no friends, I had a job which turned out to be awful and I had to travel by planes trains and automobiles to get there every day, I was terribly homesick missed everyone, and H worked 12 hour days back then so it was just a recipe for disaster, we argued daily, and I constantly questioned my decision to move, it was a horrid emotional time for us top all that off with a house made out of paper living next door to a tw@t of a bloke who played music all through the night non stop. I would call Mum constantly crying down the phone pleading to come home and she would tell me just give it time..... fortunatley it all came together in 2007, when we bought our lovely home, I found a better job and I'd gotten over being so homesick, H's hours reduced and things just went from bad to gradually better and better.

When H and I got together we were 18 and he stayed over a few nights. After about a year my mum, brother and I moved out of our childhood home into a flat. I was paying a lot to my mum so I think she saw it as a bit more equal and H started staying more often, my mum would make his dinner, order stuff for his lunches and H would drive her places and take us all out for meals etc so it was quite good.

When we actually got the keys to our house (we bought our house with my mum and my brother is living with us too) we were all living together still but it wasn't so much living with each other, more the things that happened ie we had to renovate our entire house, we had a mortgage, a few money/job troubles. I was used to putting most of my wages away each week whereas H could go and blow his so he found it difficult to start with. So we did argue a bit to start with, I also feel like we never it to just enjoy being engaged and just go on holidays and enjoy being with each other, so I think that was part of it IYSWIM?

But the four of us all get on the majority of the time now, I do love living with him and think we just needed to settle in a bit. He was an only child too so I think getting used to living with my brother too was maybe a bit of an adjustment? I am still not used to his messiness though!!

We actually got on better living together than we did before!

He does really irritate me though as he is the super neat one and if I leave something on the coffee table (because I need it) he'll go and tidy it away and I'll never find it again.

I'm not particularly messy, he'd just rather our house looked like a show home and like no one lives there!

This is what I would say would have been are only problem. For him everything has a place and it should always be in it. he likes a minimalistic look. Im less tidy and more lazy so not good at putting things away after usings them.

He would serve dinner then do the dishes as it went cold!

He thinks im a hoarder!

Over time he has relaed and ive got more organised!

I practically moved into mrminis house on our second date.

He still drives me mad. He is a messy bugger.

It wasn't that bad to be honest. Just stupid little things, such as he lived alone since he left care, so he had to get used to sharing his space again, so he would make himself a drink but forget about me or he'd eat the last of the biscuits without thinking I might have wanted some.

He is untidy, though. And he does keep dumping plates on top of the dishwasher rather than in it but I wouldn't be without him.

Same here really. Living together hasn't been much different to living apart, aside from the convenience of not having to constantly travel backwards and forwards to see one another or fit in seeing each other around work/university (back when we were both doing other things)

I think a biggest adjustment for me was living with people at University. My flatmates were the complete opposite to me in pretty much every way, so whatever OH had to throw at me wasn't really too big of a problem after that.

I'd known that OH was a spoilt only child, I just hadn't realised how spoilt/lazy he was.

OH had never cleaned or made a bed in his life, nor done any washing or ironing ever.

It was (and still is hard) trying to get him to do any kind if chore & he thinks that cooking dinner or clearing the plates once a week is more than his fare share of chores. His mum also still takes his work shirts away, washes them and irons them because I refuse to as I think he needs to learn & I do everything else for him.

I found it extremely tiring when I first moved in with him, as much as I was used to helping around my parents house it didn't prepare me for having to keep a whole house clean on my own, cook & tidy up and around another person whilst that person made a huge amount of mess and didn't seem to know where a bin was and thought it was acceptable to eat a packet of crisps or a yoghurt etc and just leave the empty packet on the sofa for days (yes, I left it to see how long it'd stay there).

I'm still a bit bitter about how I do 95% of the housework but I just deal with it because there are so many positive things about my OH.... It's worth putting up with.

We met while living in the same houseshare so lived together from the beginning, we don't argue much now we have our own place. We definitely argued more when housesharing I don't know if that was down to living with other people and having no privacy and all the stuff that comes with that or that we've worked out what bugs each other now and we actively try to avoid pushing those buttons. I do have a bit of a quick temper about certain things and hate arguing so I have managed to teach myself not to sweat the small stuff.

Pffft you could be talking about my H.

I can tolerate living with my H, as he is only home 2 days a week.

I hate sharing my space. I am a neat freak, my H is not, and could easily live in a complete tip. In the 3 months I lived with my Mum, h pretty much trashed the house. It took me 2 weeks to deep clean it when I moved back in.

I found it hard because neither of us had ever lived with a partner before so never had to learn the art of compromise. Originally we had such disparate lifestyles. He is messy, I am a neat freak. He wanted to be out either watching football or playing football the majority of the week and weekend; I wanted to go running, drinking or clubbing. His working hours were insane (as in, 7am-3am - not even exaggerating.) Mine were obviously more normal. He likes to eat tea at 8-9pm, I prefer it earlier. He snores like a volcano, I am the lightest sleeper in the world.

Looking at it, we never should have lasted!

I didn't find it hard, and apparently H didn't either. My sister asked us 3 questions each to prepare her wedding speech and one was "when did you know you wanted to marry her?" And his answer was "when she moved in and nothing bad happened!"

H was a bit of a slob. Dirty dishes piled next to the sink, laundry amassed in a cupboard, but when I moved in I tidied it all up and even though I am far neater than he is, he will do things to help, they just have to be pointed out to him and he needs to be asked and not told.

one thing I will say is that we hae been living in his flat, which he owned for 5 years before meeting me! When I moved in we bought a few pieces of furniture and I put some nice framed prints on the walls, so it felt like mine as well, which helped with that. I'm still stupidly excited that we are getting a new place, though, because I was involved in the process of pickin it.

Despite being a bit icky about the first year of marriage with H on the other thread, I actually found it difficult moving in with him. Not because of stuff like cleaning, we are both as skanky as each other, but because we were in such different situations. H, being a bit older, had his own house and grown up things like a mortgage. I was a postgrad student renting with 4 mates and sitting on a shed load of debt. I felt a little bit uncomfortable with just moving in, like I was taking advantage or something (difficult to explain). It took a long time between him raising it as an option and me agreeing to move in - and even then it was supposed to be temporary! I even had one friend acquaintance say something along the lines of winning a meal ticket. Cow.

We've actually put his/our (see i still find it weird saying our) place on the market this week and I'm looking forward to buying a home together that genuinely feels like it is ours. Question now is where?!

Yay! ?

It felt really natural for us, I don't think anything was difficult. OH probably finds it more annoying than me because I'm much more relaxed about tidying up than he is. I'm not a slob but I don't feel the need to wash up the minute I finish my dinner or put the laundry away the minute it's dry unlike him.

We've been together since we were 18 (27 now) and at first we stayed over at each others parents and then when I went to uni he would stay with me in halls/flat share and then we bought our home together a couple of years ago. So I guess we've sort of built it up over time.

I never found it hard or an adjustment really, it just felt quite easy and natural. I think we're quite similar in the way we view things, we like it to be tidy, we share chores, share the cooking, split the bills into the joint account and then the rest of our money we do what we want with. We have niggles about things sometimes but nothing major.

I think it is just getting used to each others annoying habits and finding your feet, I feel you can only truly get to know someone after living with them.

Its all rosie and exciting when you just date with the occasional sleep over but when you live together you get to see the real person warts and all.

Yay, I was exactly the same, I completely understand. We ended up buying something only a 5 minute walk away, though!

We are exactly the same but in reverse - my H moved in with me and probably feels like my lodger as all his furniture went up into the loft! We are moving house in the next couple of weeks and it will be lovely living somewhere that is ours.

This!
I didn't find it extremely difficult when OH moved in with me, it was the little silly things that made us argue. And I think the fact that he moved in with me at 18 and really quickly due to his Mum made it slightly more stressful, although it made us closer at the same time. Funny how things quickly settle though isn't it when you're used to it ?

I don't remember there being anything that we struggled with when we moved in together. We had been living almost 200 miles apart for the duration of our relationship though, so I think we were just happy to be together!

We were in a similar boat so when I finally moved over here 2 years ago, it felt very right to live together - I'm sure I drive him mad but he is very easy to live with. He's a little bit of a hoarder and a procrastinator but I'm messy so we get on fine!

This. To me it's make or break. For me and OH living together has made us stronger in more ways than I had imagined. I learned things about him I never knew before, habits etc.

Our year of living together has been hard because we are so different like a lot of you have said.... He loves going to bed with the TV on and I never had a TV in my room growing up and it just annoys me having to listen to it when I am trying to sleep! He's also a keen guitarist and is always on it, more than I knew. As much as I love what he does sometimes I do like a bit of peace and quiet!! We also didn't realise fully the cost of living...it's SO expensive and we were used to more of a luxurious lifestyle before which was weird to say goodbye to!!!

I had been an independent working, single mother and was used to doing things for myself by myself. Within the first 6 weeks of him moving in I finished my job for maternity leave knowing I wouldn't be going back because, with 3 pre-school children and his wage being too high to get help with childcare, we simply couldn't afford for me to work. I had no job, no money of my own, 3 small children, someone else's cleaning/washing/cooking to do, he was getting used to having to share his wage when he'd lived the comfortable single life all his adult life. We were exhausted from sleepless nights, my eldest son was displaying more and more autistic traits that we didn't understand or know how to deal with. On top of this my ex started being difficult, his family were down right awful and then just as we started to get back on track I suffered a cancer scare. Fortunately I was given the all clear but the stress triggered post natal depression. We survived, which sometimes surprises me as while all this was happening we had still only been together for just over a year.

I found it super easy living with my H when we first moved in together - but he is very laid back, which works well with my all around general laziness. We also got a cleaner which I think makes a massive difference.

You also have that magic of when oyu first move in together, loved going to sleep with him every night and waking up to him. That feeling luckily hasn't faded and we've lived together now for 3 years and been married about 18 months. When we argue it's silly stuff.

I would have never, have ever married a boy without moving in with him first. Just not for me. I'm definitely a try before you buy girl.

I found the first year easy, I moved in with him at Uni( I was 18, he was 21), he was already there so instead of halls, I went with H2B..easy peasy... now 5 years later and still no troubles, will be six years living together when we get married, but 10 years together all round, whoop.