settle down children and let me tell you the tale of two people, very much in love, were nearly driven insane by the phenomenon called ‘wed ding plan ning’
Nerdy beginnings
Me and my OH met back in college, I’d just flunked my A levels and was starting a new art course and waiting around at enrollment when my future husband arrived late and slipped into the back of the room near where I was sitting. We started talking and quickly found common ground in video games, one hour later were swapping cheat codes and easter egg secrets. We ended up finishing college together going to the same university and not too long after finishing uni he popped the question to me on New Years at a good friend, the best man’s, house party.
Now the planning
Me and my OH have different approaches to things in life, me being an illustrator can be a loose canon, a little out there and much more of a dreamer. Him on the other hand is a graphic designer, a box ticker and bean counter. I wanted a simple ceremony then straight onto a hog roast with music and drink. Groomzilla wanted, and I quote ‘to be waited on hand and foot’. We did compromise, we could do the traditional setup if it fitted our budget AND he was going to have to take up some of the heavy lifting of planning to accommodate his demands and could get my ‘crazy’ on. But i drew the line at chair condoms.
The run up
Booked two weeks off, one before, one after for spontaneous honeymooning fun! Our best man and our best friend came down the week before to help out. All together we finished the sweet buffet! the week running up was a gauntlet of small tasks and dinner parties. My dad had come all the way from the states with his son William to celebrate with us and took the whole family and wedding party to dinner. But on wednesday the dreaded sneezing happened. It wasn’t till the best man handed me some cold and flu pills I’d cottoned on. That night I had only 4 hours sleeps due to a blocked nose and sneezing, and at 6am Thursday morning after giving up laying in bed i went on the war path! as soon as the supermarket doors opened i went in and armed myself to the teeth with cold pills, lozenges, nasal sprays, night nurse, blueberries and raw garlic. Even eaten raw garlic? its vile. But this was war! I was taking no prisoners!
I was out of commission on thursday, napping and popping pills. OH took up the duties of fulfilling the last little details (bless him) he packed our away bag (I’d left out everything i needed), ironed the shirts and printed the speeches. We waited for my aunt to arrive that evening with the button holes of our design, purple veronicas and yellow craspedia for the boys and white roses and lilac freesias for the mums (and nan). He left to go to his parents at 7pm to celebrate with a few of his mates with beer and pizza leaving me and mum alone in the house. We just chilled out, doing our nails and watching something unremarkable on TV since I haven’t remembered it.
The big day
Mum woke me up at 7:30am and I have to admit, I was a zombie. Still blocked up and feeling drowsy, I didn’t want to get up. Mum being mum, had no comprehension of the word ‘no’ so i got up. But a cup of green tea and I started to feel human again. In fact after I had my breakfast I dance around the lounge to American Authors ‘best day of my life’ until i went dizzy and took a power nap. On the sofa.
That morning it was absolutely throwing it down but i had faith in the weather reports and lo and behold its stopped and it was brilliant sunshine with rainbows, freakin perfect! Soon the bridesmaids poured in with the florist (my aunty, also playing the role of hairdresser) and some amazing flowers. LOOK AT THEM! Soooooo pretty. its like a handful of rainbows!
Then the MUA and a new non-drunk hairdresser turned up too followed by the 2 photographer’s. Everything seemed to go rather smoothly and ultra calm. Well, accept for our cat Fizzgig who was a touch insulted by the mass of ‘uninvited guests’ that took up residences in every room in his house. I have to say it was odd, no squeeing or teary moments. Just general natter and laughter.
OH’s dad showed up to pick me up, he decorate his car with ribbon and we waited a little before leaving, sitting in my ramshackle of a house in a poofy white dress, thats was a peculiar feeling.
******
When i arrived at the aBode the BM’s came to meet me and helped me out of the car. One of the girls lost her shoes in a grid and i was of no help for too much laughing! They managed to free it undamaged in the end!
Waiting outside the room with my mum was surreal, I was nervous and yet very calm, just like my dad said I would be. We were about to start the procession when … a guest popped out for the loo! Then the uncomfortable moment of waiting and hoping he wasn’t ‘reading the paper’
Anyway, we finally started the processional calmly but when i saw my OH at the end of the aisle swinging around his pixel sword like Cloud Strife some proud hero i was a touch overwhelmed that i think i frog marched my mother down the aisle!
the ceremony was perfect, i loved every minute of it. I couldn’t wait to give him a hug. it was terribly mushy
*photos have been changed 
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