My Best Friend - Updated final page

It kind of sounds like attention seeking. If I had decided to do a crash diet of just drinking milkshakes instead of eating proper meals, I would try and do it descretely. So I would give you my meal choices, nibble the tiniest amount and push it round the plate. Then nip out for my shake.

Or shock horror, I would have a day off from the diet to celebrate with my best friend.

TBH I think its her choice at the end of the day and really quite unimportant in the grand schemes of the day.

I would ask her what her preference would be if she were to eat it so the contingency is there if she changes her mind on the day. How much odes it really matter if she does't eat it? Other guests might not eat it because they don't like it or not eat much because of their own diets (sometimes wish I had that self control!). Honestly, don't let this stress you out.

I do think it will look a bit wierd and people will probably comment on it but it will not take away from your day. However, I would be having a day off as DuckyBum said or sneak out for my shake after the meal and only eat a small amount. One day would not make a difference, I'm sure! Just remember though, you will be the centre of attention and most people will probably be too interested in what is going on on their table and the food they are eating to notice what she is doing.

I can see both sides.

The fact she is talking about continuing the program even on your wedding day could show she is serious about her weight loss/health goals and will be sticking to the plan however long it takes. Most diets like these teach you strategies for special days though, so she might be able to have more than a milkshake. And at least she's warning you so you don't pay for a meal for her and end up wasting money if she really doesn't want to eat it.

On the other hand I see your point. I am on the Dukan diet and the first three phases go right up to our honeymoon in September, but I'll be having a day off on my wedding (as if I'm going to miss out on my venue's lovely desserts).

At the end of the day though it's her choice. If you think she's doing it to be awkward, don't rise to it. Just ensure she knows this will mean you aren't booking a meal for her!

I would choose for her, pick something you know she would normally eat (or your healthiest option) and then on the day she can choose to do what she would like. I would be rather worried about my bridesmaid not eating on the day as it is normally a really long day and requires quite a lot of energy. Maybe try and discuss it with her? On the other hand I can understand her not wanting to break her diet and that does take a lot of commitment

Also I got my bridesmaid dress from JC Brides too! Yay for the Mrs G's of Portsmouth.

WSS......I think Id be embarrassed tho, Id do it privately.......she must have really good will power cuz I personally couldnt sit at a table and watch people eat!! I have a feeling this phase will pass, Is she not going to drink either......

just say to her, instead of toasting champagne al make sure you get water if youre taking it so seriously!! Well done to her for doing it but Id have a day off xxx

This.

I would hope that she sees sense and realises that it is a special day and therefore can join in and eat with everyone else. Maybe leave it a few weeks and speak to her again about it? When do you need to have your meal choices back by?

Yes. She could take one day off from her diet for your wedding.

If I were you I would go ahead and order her what you think she would prefer anyway. Chances are the diet will be a short-lived fad anyway - June is still quite a long way away when you're living on shakes.

Thanks ladies,

I totally understand why she wants to do it and is so serious about it she is an amazing singer, but she isn't getting the parts she deserves in the west end because of he size.

Meal choices need to be in a month before so have a bit of time.

I am sorry but I think you are all wrong. Lighter life is one of the hardest diets to follow and it does need to be followed strictly or it will not work! I really do think you need to respect her desicion, and I am pretty sure nobody would notice, or even care whether someone decides to eat a meal or not! Definantly not on the top of the list.

My sister did the diet a few year ago, we all went out for a massive family meal for HER 21st birthday and she enjoyed her time, however did not actually eat instead had one of her shake.

It takes a lot of will power to do something like that, so I think she just needs your support.

Although I can understand why it's irked you, I think this is one of those scenarios where you're going to have to remind yourself that for everyone other than you and your fiancé, your wedding ISN'T the centre of their world. Her diet sounds like it's incredibly important to her and from what I've read about Lighter Life, you need to be 100% discipline 100% of the time. I'm sure it's not at all appealing for her to miss out on the wedding meal or a glass of bubbly for the toast, but at least she's had the good sense to let you know not to order a meal for her and waste the money.

One of my colleagues was on Lighter life for a long time and she did so well, but it was hard - I know why BM is doing it, totally understand her reasons.

Tbh I don't really get why your annoyed. What Does it matter to you what your guests are eating? If anyone comments so what, it won't be a reflection on you on any way. I think your friend is brave to go without and have people whispering about her. Plus I know what it's like to diet and one day of can set you back a few pounds, it's often just not worth it. Just support her and remember she'll be saving you money!

I don't know about LighterLife, but I know if you are on certain diets or pills such as Alli, you physically CAN NOT 'just take a day off' - certainly on Alli this could make you quite ill and suffer from horrible diarrhoea. If you are used to only having shakes, to suddenly eat a three-course heavy wedding breakfast could potentially cause you to feel very ill indeed. So I think those saying she should "see sense" and take a day off should think about it a bit more and have some sympathy! Her health is more important than a wedding meal for goodness' sake.

Imagine how she will be feeling, sitting up there surrounded by delicious food she can't eat and sipping on her shake. Don't you think she might feel more awkward and embarrassed than the bride? I actually think it's very good of her to let you know in advance so you can potentially save some money on her wedding meal if she knows she is not going to eat it. If I saw a BM having a shake rather than the meal I would think good for her, she clearly has willpower and is trying her best. I wouldn't think anything bad about her or the bride and I certainly do not think you have the right to be angry with her.

I have been on lighterlife before after my 2nd child and all i can say is it the hardest diet ever! the first few days you are starving! it is horrible, but what gets you through it is that after 3-4 days the starvation pains go and you start feeling fine as your body goes into a state of ketosis (sp?) -if you take a day off or eat anything you go straight back to the pain of the first 3-4 days (oh and waste the £70 you spent for that week!) lighterlife is basicly treating overeating as an addiction, just like drugs or alcohol, you have to go cold turkey while you receve counselling to retrain your brain when you do finaly go back into the "real world" she may not even be on the diet for the wedding, the diet is not for everyone but if she is so what? i have teetotal people coming to my wedding and im not annoyed they wont be drinking the wine, or that the veggies won't be tucking into the chicken!

Good luck to her if thats her choice......... will her dress fit????????

Woah! would your BM be happy that

1.this thread exists

2.There is a photo of her (albeit faceless) on the internet when we all know she mustn't be feeling great about her body

3.Her friendship is in inverted comma's!

Ouch. Live and let live, if she doesn't want to eat leave her to it!

This,

I know it is hard to hear but your wedding is only one day and this is your friend trying to change her lifestyle to be more healthy. i think order her a meal just in case and let her know it is just for your insecurities and then that way if she doesnt stay on it then she has food and if she is still working hard toward her goal you feel comfortable that she has food in front of her and she can still have a shake.

This. I did LL a couple years ago and it totally changed my life... I went to a few event and no one noticed that I wasnt eating, even a wedding for that matter. Id hope people were more concerned with you than her so wouldnt worry about it.

She is changing her life in an incredibly brave and difficult way and breaking that or stoping it for one day, even if it is your wedding, is silly