My birthday was ruined.....

Hello

Sory to hear your birthday was ruined!

Have you ever asked him why he behaves so bad when drining, or why he has to drink so much?

V

I'm so sorry to hear that delvesje, I'm not surprised you are so upset. I'm not sure what to suggest but didn't want to R&R. I hope you're ok and can sort this one way or the other. ?

How ols are your daughters? does he have a reason to dislike them/ have the hump with them or was it completly out of the blue. i dont really know what to say but didnt wana read and run.

hope you sort it out, i think you and oh really need to sit down and have a chat. will he remember this when he wakes up?

My daughters are 30 and 25, it came out the blue, we were just having a giggle when he turned on my eldest.

Oh delvesje i dont know what to suggest. maybe you need to disscuss this with him and see what he is willing to do about it, the minimun should be apologising to your daughters and you, and being more willing to cut down the drinking. if he is willing to do this then mayber you can move forward. im really sorry your birthday was ruined mand i hope you and your daughters are ok xxxx

Hi,

Sorry to hear your night was ruined ?.

Does your OH only drink on social occasions?

Sounds like he just can't handle his drink but that isn't an excuse. Has he acknowledged yet he was in the wrong?

xx

I'm so sorry to hear that your birthday was ruined. I really hope the two of you can sort it out...Sorry I can't really help but I didn't want to R&R

Hi delvesje, sorry to hear this - I hope you managed to get some sleep, its understandable;e you are so upset - I would be. you need to have a serious chat about this if you say its happened on several occasions - does he realise he is behaving this way? what happened after the previous occasions, did he apologize?

Oh delvesje I'm so sorry your birthday was ruined. Has he ever behaved like that with them before? I really don't know what else to say but didn't want to R&R ?

Hey there

didnt want to r and r but i hope you get it sorted hunxx

Yes he has behaved like it before, not with my kids but with some of my friends, he just cant seem to stop drinking once he starts. He gets very opionated and arguementitive with people.

Even when I tell him that his had too much he carries on, No doubt I will get an apology at some point, I uaually do. I'm not sure that I want to allienate my friends and family and how can I believe him when he says he wont drink anymore. I have heard it before.

We havent spoken yet today, he has only just got up! But I am thinking of asking him to leave, its his house but all my family live away and I need chance to work my notice and find somewhere else to live.

My father was an alcholic so I know what drink does to people, and I think last night has woken me up to the fact that he has a real problem. sorry for the ramble but I am so darn miserable. Thanks for listening xx

It does sounds like he has a problem if it happens regularly.

I'm sorry you've had to come to this conclusion, but better now than later.

Do you have someone iro who could come round to be with you if he does leave? A daughter maybe?

I'm so sorry to hear your birthday was ruined in such a way.

It really does seem that unless he admits he might have a problem when he drinks then I don't know how well you will both be able to move forwards. Also, I'm sure now your daughters will be uncomfortable in his company along with some of your friends - this makes things very difficult for the future.

Maybe a little break to sort your head out would be a good thing then sit down and have a big chat with OH to try and iron it all out?!?!?

Good luck and let us know how you get on.

What Sarah-Kay said really. I'm sorry you are in this situation. I have family members with alcohol problems so know the devastation it can reek.

I really feel for you as I have been in similar situations and the decision is not an easy one.

I would speak to him and say that unless he gets help then you will really need to think whether you can stay with him because living your life in fear of what he may say at the next drinking occasion is not a nice way to live.

Hugs xx

I'm so sorry to hear your birthday was ruined. It sounds to me as though he does have a drink problem and the aggression he displays when he is drunk may show he has deep-seated anger issues. Maybe you could have a break with him leaving temporarily and then discuss him seeing his G.P for advice or registering with a counsellor either together or separately.

These are only my opinions and as I don't know your history, they are only suggestions so I hope I haven't said anything out of turn.

Hugs to you hun xx ?

I am so sorry to hear what happened and what a tough time you are having - Please come back and let us know that you are ok? x

I really hope you get this sorted flower... sounds truly awful.

Really hope you're OK - sending lots of good wishes to you.. Please come back and let us know how you're getting on. *hugs* x

Im sorry you didnt have a very enjoyable birthday. I dont really have much advice to offer but didnt want to read and run! I hope you manage to talk through things and sort things out.

Sending some hugs ? and let us know your ok.x

Just want to send you a hug ?

Hope you manage to sort things out.

Hi, Thank you all for your hugs and kind wishes, I dont know any of you personally but hitched is like having a huge family of sisters.x

I have tried talking to him but he doesn't remember much, he knows something happened. He has promised not to drink again when we go out. I have heard that before..

I spoke to my elder daughter yesterday, she is stil reeling from it and apparently he made some discusting comment when she was having a laugh with her Nan (my mum) and put her head on Nans lap.

I have written my resignation letter to hand in tonight, that gives me a month to find somewhere else to live, God what a scary place to be. 53 years old, homeless, jobless, I thought I had found my rock, now I want to find another to crawl under.

Sorry i hadn't read your post before you posted on mine! Sounds like you're going through a hard time too, sending you a big hug xx

Oh hun, how awful for you. I don't really know what to say, I can only imagine how you must feel. Wishing you all the strength in the world. I'm sure you'll get through this. Everything happens for a reason....you never know what might be around the corner xxx

Your OH really needs to get some help! he knows what he does when he's drunk, he's been told before, he knows that he's done something wrong the next day so how can he say he doesn't remember?

I think you are making the right decision, even though I wouldn't wish that sort of decision on anyone, it doesn seem like he has a problem.

Have you spoken to him today yet?, it's a pity you didn't record him on your phone then you could of replayed it back to him so that he would realise how much out of order he actually was ?

Delvesje, you will get through this. Don't be scared, you're being incredibly brave and strong. I really admire you.

This board is a bit quiet at the moment but there's always someone around if you need us.

I have spent this afternoon cancelling everything, Flowers, cake, reception etc. I feel totally gutted.

Anyway I shall not be on here again, I think it will be too painful. Thank you for all your kind words and best wishes. xx

Why do you need to leave your job? at least it would give you some security. Sadly better to find out now than later but not a comfort to you, take care.

Delvesje- I cannot begin to imagine how you must be feeling now. I had to cancel my wedding last year and that was stressful enough, but you are going through so much.

Your daughters will be there for you- it is a lot to cope with but just reading your posts have let me know how strong a person you are- you will get through this, and just keep getting stronger. I admire that you have taken some steps to put yourself in control- even though things may feel a little out of control if you get my meaning.

Take care, lots of hugs

xxx