My first almost bridezilla moment

Hi Pookie,

I can sort of relate to your problem here!

We are having our reception in a marquee (so nowhere we can stay on the site) and I really had my heart set on staying in a super fancy country hotel for our wedding night. When I initially inquired with them, I mentioned it would be our wedding night blah blah blah, and was told very bluntly that I can stay there, BUT I can't hang around or be seen in any of the communal areas in my wedding dress because they do weddings there too and the other couple have exclusivity.

I mean, I'm not sure what they thought I was going to be doing when I got there at midnight, but do they seriously expect me to get changed before I arrive?! We have booked it anyway, OH said they will have to expect I will be wearing my dress when we get there and check in. I'm getting ready at home and OH is staying in a soulless conference hotel with everyone else the night before. Really didn't want to stay there on the wedding night, no privacy with everyone around and its just so average!

I do understand where they are coming from on the not having 2 brides thing, if you're paying to have the hotel to yourself you don't want another bride rocking up and taking pictures in front of it. Not sure I would be too happy about it if it were me! Though if you just got ready there, left and then came back late at night discretely it's not too much of an issue.

Have to admit, I did have a bit of a bridezilla moment over this as well ?

I have exclusivity at my venue... this really wouldn't bother me though lol!

We only have exclusivity so that people don't wander into the wrong Wedding to be honest haha

Also, and I can't stress this enough:

If you've been invited to a Wedding you're going to know who the Bride is. You cannot get confused by the fact that there's someone completely different in a white dress!

Book online and sod 'em

We had to book into another hotel for the wedding night as well, because there's no accommodation at our venue. They do hold weddings at the hotel where we're staying, but there isn't one on the weekend we're getting married, or I daresay we'd have had the same problem. It's annoying, but as Bride #1 has presumably paid for 'exclusive use', the hotel is duty bound to make sure that's what she gets.

But frankly the only issue I can see is if there are two bridal parties trying to use the same areas at the same time. But unless the hotel is really small surely that wouldn't happen? Each bride would be getting ready in her room, and surely with a bit of co-ordination your party could be got out of the hotel and off to the ceremony without having to pass Bride #1 in the hall. Especially as you've said you won't have any photos there, which seems like a very sensible suggestion. This must happen all the time, though - not every wedding venue has accommodation and those brides have to stay somewhere!

Spoil yourself big time on your honeymoon to make up ?

x

You're not being a Bridezilla just ridiculous idiots working at the hotel. Exclusivity means no other wedding takes place at the venue. I am sure if you rang the manager of the venue then it would be fine. They wouldn't turn down booking rooms - they would loose money.

Stephisaur....lol!!! Too right!

x

I would get annoyed by this too! I think I'm just going to stay at home and get a taxi, but if not I've found a boutique B+B which might suit (the other village hotel does weddings so OH + friends will stay there)

Is there a luxury AirBnB apartment or cottage you could rent nearby, perhaps?

Its not at all rediculous, that venue has exclusivity and you should of researched better because its not a suprise or a stange thing - basically just like ANY venue someone else already booked it on the day you want so you just have to accept that you cant have it and thats just life

our hotel completely shuts down to guests/public for weddings, id be more than pissed if another bridal party came crashing through our wedding no matter how long they intended to be there for + I need those rooms at the venue I booked for my guests and wedding party getting ready... unless your talking a huge 100+ room hotel thats just common sense

if you dont see how rediculous it is just imagine someone suddenly appears at your venue which you booked and paid for and they are in a full wedding dress with a bunch of bridesmaid in the middle of your day and then just shrugs and say 'we prefered the look of this place even though you booked it, we will only be a few minutes just doing some touch up and taking a few pictures' while your guest stand around wondering who the wedding crashers are ?

I can see your frustration Pookie you don't want to have a photo shoot there or your wedding, just sleep and get ready. More fool them for turning away your money.

The wedding is elsewhere so there would he no mid evening touch ups or guests. Your guests wouldn't know you were staying there and you're not going to get a taxi from the barn to the hotel to touch up your lippy!!

Thanks for all your replies!

FutureMrsTz - I totally get where you're coming from, and to be honest, I'd be more than happy to even sign something to say I wouldn't be hanging around in communal spaces. I'd even be happy to stick a coat on over my dress to get in the taxi and go elsewhere for my photos. I just want somewhere to get ready, and somewhere to stay with my new husband that's something slightly better than ordinary!

Stephisaur - Haha, I love this! If we were getting married in a hotel, I'd totally want 'exclusivity' too, as you do hear of horror stories of weddings in rooms next door to each other and people ending up at the wrong one. Part of me is a little intrigued what they would do about 'relocating' me if I did book online....

Lucyjo - thank you! What would happen if someone books the hotel where you're staying for their wedding now? This is something else I wonder about.

SunnyGreenConfetti - I was debating asking to speak to the manager, because surely they wouldn't turn down that money like you say! It's at least 2 rooms for 2 nights, but the potential that other members of the wedding party will end up booking there too, so they could be missing out on at least 10 guaranteed bookings (and they're not particularly cheap rooms!) But, I decided I didn't really want to fight to book somewhere that was telling me I'm not allowed to stay in their hotel!

SoonToBeMrsS - I actually have looked on AirBnB, after we had a great experience with it on holiday, but unfortunately there's nothing particularly suitable nearby to the venue. Part of me is debating staying at home and getting ready there now, but it's over 45 minutes to the venue, and on a route that nearly always has roadworks, so don't know whether to risk that stress on the wedding day!

Sorbet - I don't think you've properly read, or understood, my post. There is going to be NO crashing anybody's wedding. My venue is a good 30 minute drive from the hotel I was looking at, and as I stated, I am more than happy to leave the hotel to go elsewhere for my photos. It's not a case of 'researching it' - there is nowhere on their website that states they only have 1 bride at a time in the hotel. Remember (read) I am not looking to have my wedding in this hotel - we've already booked our venue - simply looking to book the hotel for accommodation. You've obviously picked a hotel that takes 'exclusivity' to the next level, but this is NOT an exclusive hotel. Many hotels enable wedding parties to reserve rooms for their guests - the fact that there are 20 rooms available suggest that perhaps this wedding party has not done that (or the hotel does not offer it), so as far as I'm concerned, those rooms are available for ANY member of the public to book.

Miss_Conduct - Exactly!! Idiots! ?

I don't think it's that weird, if you wanted to use the bridal suite - of course they're going to want to reserve that for brides that are getting married at their hotel. It may even be a standard part of the package that they offer to brides using the hotel for their weddings. Our venue has a small number of rooms, and as soon as we booked our wedding they made all of them unavailable for booking so that we could have first refusal. I'd be very upset if I paid a large amount of money for a wedding at a hotel only to be told I couldn't have the bridal suite because it was already booked for another bride who wasn't even getting married at that hotel. It's a key selling point for hotels as wedding venues - the presence of on-site accommodation.

I agree with MadamRed that if you'd booked your wedding there and then a bride from elsewhere booked the Bridal Suite I would be pretty annoyed. But if you're just wanting a double room (larger if pos) I wouldn't see a problem. Our wedding is booked somewhere with rooms, and I know they're gone now - if people in my party didn't book when we gave info with STD's they'll have to book elsewhere.

Accommodation is a weird one with weddings, but I think their response is a little OOT.

Good question! Fortunately I didn't book the honeymoon suite so I'm only in a bog standard room, and also I'm not actually getting ready at the hotel - I'm disappearing right after breakfast and going to my parents nearby, then I won't be back until late on the wedding day. Yes I'll be in my dress then, but by then I doubt anyone will care!

x

Sorry, I probably wasn't entirely clear - I'm not trying to book the bridal suite, I was happy with a standard room. I've booked a different hotel now anyway - I called this new hotel just to check they didn't have a similar policy, and the lady actually laughed when I asked...her response "of course you can stay here"..I explained why, and she just laughed - they must get it a lot!

I kind of see this from both points... some of my friends are RIDICULOUSLY unorganised so despite my nagging at them they still haven't rung our hotel to confirm their rooms, luckily the hotel hold all the rooms until 2 weeks before, then as a courtesy they call me and let me know who has booked before releasing them so that I can make sure everyone who needs a room has booked one.

However we have been told from the offset that they don't allow any other wedding parties to stay over on the night, so if after our party ends I was to wander into the bar for a few more drinks with friends and family and saw another bride sat there I would be quite cheesed off, but only because they have reiterated so many times that I will be the ONLY bride in the venue. I didn't realise I cared until they pointed this out, but now I am rather glad #bridezilla haha