My husband is a nuisance

Sorry but ??

Does it spit, like Spit?

MrH is intrigued at both the Spit the Dog puppet and the Make Your Own Morph kit ?

this is not a sentence one sees every day ?

It makes the noise when you close the mouth. Thankfully it doesn't actually spit, or there would have been carnage. He's perfecting his technique of making it seem more lifelike by making it tremble when I tell him to fuck off. Last night whemn I went to bed, he was pretending to be asleep whilst in fact lying in wait with the *** thing and proceeded to make it "bite" me in the style of Emu & Parky.

MrA was 40 in August btw.

Morph comes with an instructional dvd and 15 classic episodes as well as all necessary plasticine and accessories (skateborad etc).

I accidently spent £80 in Firebox whilst looking for stocking fillers for the boy.

?

?

he doesn't have a seperated at birth twin who lives in leeds does he? blond hair, blue eyes? he sounds awfully familiar...

(although mr c claims to be only 38 and was born in october)

Or a triplet living in Bristol who's only 36? ?

MrH says he'd go to bed with Mr Atkins and Spit. I don't know whether to laugh or cry ?

I don't think so KTC, although you never know.

I never bloody learn.

The year before last I bought him a Bendy Bully for Christmas and it spends most of its time on my side of the bed, under my pillow, in my handbg etc. Which is hilaaaaaaarious, unitl I lean on it or something and it basts out the Bullseye theme tune complete with "Mooooooo" at some awful hour of the night.

He's a fucking menace. I try not to take him to the supermarket anymore as the walk through the veg aisle is fraught with "oooh, nice melons / would you like to squeeze my plums?" - type-comments.

I got a make your own Morph for my birthday - I found it sad that my 5-year-old nephew didn't know who Morph was......

Damn you MA. Guess what MrH wants for Christmas? Though he is asking if the feem toon it plays is the major "you won a speedboat!" version, or the minor "here's what you could have won" one. ?

PS I'm reading out your posts to him and he's shaking his head sadly and asking exactly who is to blame.

mr c is saying he could learn an awful lot form mr a. i may have to divorce him ?

this is coming from the man who once put my percy pig piggy bank in bed when he left the house early for work, which i discovered when i got in at 7am after a night shift.

and when challenged, claimed it was nothing to do with him, and percy must have just wanted to say hello...

I somehow found morph on youtube earlier this evening. My 2.5 year old and 5 month old were glued to it. I had forgotten he had a norty sidekick.

My parents have an Emu puppet in the loft but they wont let me have it as it belongs to my brother.

Have just read this to H and almost didn't manage to finish it cos I was ? so much. I am literally crying with laughter! Thank you MA, I needed a good chuckle tonight!

?

Mr RP likes to take daft photos of himself and leave the digital camera on my bedside table for when i wake-up

?

??? I love your marriage, this post has kept me and my H in stiches.

? @ this thread

This is a bit random, but I'm knitting a scarf for a Christmas present. I had the bright idea of knitting silver and black wool together but, sadly, it just looks like a twinkly Spit the Dog ?

And ? at this thread.

This thread is hilarious and also strangely comforting as it seems I'm not the only one married to a loon. Usually the first thing anyone says on finding out that I'm pregnant is "OMG how are you going to cope with two of them?" meaning H as well as mini H!

I wish my H was as goofy as yours. Mine just embarrasses me in public like at the video shop when he loudly proclaims "THERE'S TWO FOR ONE ON HIGHSCHOOL MUSICAL/ MANNEQUIN/ VAMPIRE LESBIANS/ (insert horrendously inane/inappropriate title here) - DIDN'T YOU WANT THAT?"

?

Hazel, Bully plays the proper feem toon. Although he's not very bendy.

Last night, Spit was lying on my pillow when I went to bed. Apparently, one of the runts put him there. Which is terribly clever as they can't walk and were sleeping.

Don't encourage him by laughing. Saying that, he'left me a new bar of Gakaxy on the table - cookie crumble flavour - so he's not all bad.

My OH is an idiot terribly amusing as well.

I heard a "dakka dakka dakka" type noise in the hallway recently. Upon enquiry, he informed me that he was being a fighter plane, whilst on his way to the kitchen.

He also skis down the stairs. Complete with whooshing noises and tuck position. In Simpsons slippers.

Mr LS is 31. Going on 5.

These are brilliant!

My H has done the pretending to be a cat thing too. Only he knows why.

Last night he "playing" the harmonica inbetween singing rhythm and blues style lyrics about our cat. In his defensive he had had one can of beer. ?

Do men ever grow up?

I swear some days I have 4 kids.

I think, beens as most people on here "know" my husband it would be unfair of me to mention any of his foibles, but someone I know very weell's husband ? took to doing sofa dismounts when the olympics were on (complete with sticky out bum). He also invented a new dance for Strictly come Dancing called "the quick trot" it's a twist on a quickstep & foxtrop. He also has a Shark handpuppet, which lives on his bedstead) which has been known to savage his wife, occasionally. He also made up a song about tiger bread once (to the tune of spider man). He was also was flicking through his digital camera one night whilst in bed and when asked by the wife what he was up to declared he was watching a film called "I know what I did last summer"

Mind you, this person that I know very well is no better, she has been known to make the shark glove puppet eat the beanie rat (that also lives on the bedstead of this couple I know ) and has mad her husbands toy goats (yes, small plastic toy goats) appear on his glass, like a strange cocktail decoration. She also made up a song about the goats called "american goat" (to the tune of american boy)

strange, strange couple.

Keef, Keef, tell everyone about percy pig & the chess, I love that story.

They sound really odd, I'm glad we don't know them ?

While my husband is perfectly capable of carrying on a conversation in English with everyone else, for some reason whenever I ask him something like "do you want a cup of tea?" he can only speak in the language used by dodos in the Thursday Next books, ie, a series of "plock-plock" noises. Repeated entreaties to speak properly are no use and only elicit the same reaction.

It would perhaps be understandable if he'd ever read those books, but no, he hasn't.

The really sad thing is that I'm starting to be able to understand him, in the same way that you can understand R2-D2 in the Star Wars films.

MA, welcome to my world of pointless tat. I have to PR things just like 'Make your own Morph' - in fact, that particular product has indeed seen the benefit of my writing 'talents'. Mind you, I did spend a few most unproductive hours wondering if Morph was technically red, brown or terracotta. That killed an afternoon ?

God, I'd love your job. And it'd probably save me a fortune as I buy my friend a proper gift and a novelty item each year for her birthday. She says I'll never top "Elvis Monopoly".

Morph, being from the seventies, is obviously brown though. Which is what I hope you went with in the end.

Do you know, I can't remember. It might have been terracotta as he does have that orangey glow about him. I even ended up reading through endless interviews with Tony Hart to try and figure it out ?

The job does have its perks though, although on the gift front, it depends on what clients you have at any given moment. This year, everyone's having LEGO, and that's just tough ?

I do want one of these, though. I fact I HAVE to have one of these. My life depends upon having one. Or two.

www.pleoworld.com

Waaaaaah! these are brilliant ?

My H is also a loon; he has a tendancy to sneak up behind me and throw the duvet over my head (scaring the shite out of me in the process) then crawling underneath and whispering "shhh! they'll hear us" he also breaks out in horrendous dance moves involvings lots of knee-flapping and arm waving to no music, generally in front of the tv when they're just about the reveal who the murderer is/where the gold is hidden/whether or not they have found a cure etc so I always miss it. He also generally tickles and pokes me then denies doing it - we have goblins apparently.

The man drives me nuts, but he keeps things interesting.

Oooh, what Lego should I get my nephew who is I think 7? I only want to spend around a tenner or so though as I've already got him jammies. It all looks a bit technical now and MasterA was never into it.

Can you still get sticklebricks? I might get them for the runts.

i forgot about that. his loonage does all blend into one ?

percy pig lives on my dressing table along with ronnie barker, (a little stripey sausage dog from muji) ronnie's stripey elephant brother, trumpet (don't ask) and a finding nemo cuddly fish

mr c found a mini chess game from a xmas cracker in our dining room cupboard. so he set it up on my dressing table with the animals placed around it, as it they were having a game.

and when challenged did the 'oh how did that happen?' thing. 'they must have been bored' he said.

and when further challenged about how they'd got it from downstairs said 'well now i think of it, i did hear a lot of oinking and clanking last night' ?