My OH has just uninvited his whole family!! Argh!!!

Got to be nosey and ask, what was the unreasonable behaviour that caused the arguement - tell me to naff off if you want!?! lol

Ditto!

I know how you feel though hun, my h2b's family havent liked me from the word go and to this day i still dont know the full reason. He is the only son with 4 sisters and its like they didnt like me taking their boy away so everything and anything i do they find fault with it - right down to breastfeeding our child!
His sister caused a huge arguement by demanding i have her 3 children involved in the wedding. I only wanted her daughter as a flower girl as i have 2 sisters of my own plus 2 nieces and 2 nephews so i was just going to have 1 child from each family to be fair. But she had a screaming match with us that i was in the wrong and should have all her children - in the end h2b and his mum and sister all fell out for 2 months. His other younger sister who has always hated me brought herself into the arguement and was calling me everything nasty as usual.. I have never done anything wrong to his family. They just dont like me and it'l never change!

The way i look at it is i love robert and he loves me, im here to make him happy not his damn family. You're the same hun, your family will be at the wedding and they along with your h2b all love you. Enjoy your day and forget about all of them!! xx

ps - sorry for taking over your post ?

I feel your pain - to be honest it's hard work enough holiday with my family alone never mind OHs family and us all together! I have just made a personal note not to book Xmas abroad with my family!

Without knowing what you did thats "unreasonable" it's hard to know what to say. As you say it's good that OH sticks up for you. I personally dont think you should have apologised if you don't mean it - thats just burying the problem and not dealing with us and causing you un-necessary upset.

If I was you, with 6 months to the wedding, i'd ignore their comments, ask OH to try and retract the statement but say that he will not accept any negative comments about you or the wedding and that anyone making them is unwelcome at the wedding. Then leave it them to regulate their own behaviour.

Hope that you sort it out, and sorry if your hols were ruined! boo - sounds like you need another holiday already!

I did bite my tongue as much as possible however as i teach them i cant accpet them swearing directly at me or just taking stuff from me as this undermines me when we are back at school. In all honesty i probably should have thought about it before we went, but as they have always been well behaved when i have seen them outside school it didnt cross my mind. OH explained this to both his sister and mum but they cant see it. Am sure it will sort itself out. Justy a shame as i used to get on well with his family - to the point where i wondered what would go wrong as it was too good to be true!!

Urgh, I know how you feel. Right, this is going to take a bit ... my fiances, fathers, girlfriends, sisters, husbands, children (phew, that took a lot to get that right) were just like that. I remember a day at the beach, I was just swimming around when they decided to tackle me by surprise when swimming. I told them off but not to harshly, they're were both 8 and 8 years olds don't think things through often. I basically told them not to do it again. Their mother heard me say it and was fine with it, even supported me. The trouble was they then did it again later on, and to my fiance. Thing is, while a good swimmer, she gets surprised easily and had to be taken back to the beach while coughing up salt water. Needless to say I told them off properly. The mother once again heard me and, while I didn't think she would support me, due to the circumstances I thought it was acceptable to give them a hiding as it were, as she made no move to do so. Nope, she then proceeded to tell me that it was my fiances fault for swimming near them and should have expected it. One argument in the middle of a beach later we managed to get things calmed down.

If only it ended there. Later on back at the place we were staying we went out for dinner at the resturant. One of the little sods purposely spilt drink down her dress while laughing and calling her, well, I can't say it here. I gave it an acceptable time for her mother to tell them off considering earlier, she didn't. Well, I am rather outspoken so not saying anything wasn't on the books, so I told them off yet again, to hell with the result. It was the same of course, the mother then had a go at me, saying if my fiance didn't want her dress ruined she shouldn't wear it around her children. Well then my fiance got involved, this time she could breath after all. All I can say it was nasty.

Anyway, the rather long moral of the story is that some mothers view their children with rose tinted glasses. You are by far alone in this, I know you mean you have to cope on your own but just know there are more of you (us) around having to deal with others little sods.

Thanks taken man glad i am not the only one who refuses to take rudeness from children. To be honest i was more amazed at what was being allowed to happen and the fact that it was not my SiL2b who came and talked to me but her mum who was rude and quite threatening (guess i know where they get it from) which was a shock as we have got on so well in the past.

Also it is very annoying as she had offered to make all the invitations and decorate our cake. So i am not unsure as to whether to let the storm pass - although after the way i was talked to not really sure i want to be reliant on her, or find another source for both. Arghhhh bloody fmailies!! thought mine were going to be the troublesome ones but even with everythign they have thrown at me they are still by far better behaved than my OH's.

o my! Is it wedding related fallouts? Maybe the dust will settle and things will be back to normal. My friend went on holiday with her OH, his parents, his sis, her hubby and childres, some other cousins and their children as a kind of convoy of campervans. This was before she was married, and she has vowed NEVER to go again! She said that his family were a very strange bunch and left a load of things to her to do. I think she saw the true side of a couple of his family on that holiday, and she knows now what they are like, and she isnt as obliging with them now!

Gosh no wonder it was a hard situation. Being a step parent and not agreeing fully with the way my step children are brought up by their mum I totally under it's a very hard situation when they are not your own. I do have a little bit of say because at the end of the day they are staying under my roof when they visit and some things I simply won't put up with but it's a very anxious horrible situation to be in when you are watching behaviour you don't like.

There isn't much you can say, you've apologised so I'd just let your h2b deal with it from here.

Think about it from another perspective. If you didn't teach the children would you let them swear at you? Take food from you without your permission? No probably not so being their teacher only adds to the fact they need to give you more respect but they are children and don't understand that so the parents should be tell them swearing etc is NOT on. It's rude, cheeky, disrespectful and disgusting behaviour.

Hugs xx

Aw really sorry Tinks - they sound like a nightmare and IMO have really ganged up on you. Totally understand your predicament, which was much further complicated by you teaching them. You must be fuming and so hurt that despite all your efforts they have been slagging you off and have no understanding for what it's like for you. Got any spare time / cash to have a little proper break with OH? Sounds like you could both do with it.

The silver lining is that he's really stood by you though - I LOVE that - boys often aren't great at standing up to their Mum's!

Hi Tinks

I know exactly how you feel about biting your tongue - I am constantly doing this too have two step kids and OH's family is a nightmare with them.

Glad your other half is sticking by your side xx

Perfect gems - hadnt thought about the fact that i would not accept it even if i didnt teach them. Am just so mad with them at the moment (but cant say anything to them as different families have different values etc).

Lamby - You are so right i am lucky to have the Oh i have. He has been brilliant and even though money is tight he said that we will get away even if it is for a weekend or something. Bless him. Think part of the problem is that his mum is used to being the centre of the family and having everyone doing whatever she says and obviously i dont and my OH is siding with me which is a wake up call for what is going to happen in the future.

Thanks for your support girlies, just had to check thatother people would not accept the behaviour without saying anything (i can manage it for a while but 2 weeks is just too long).

Sorry for butting in - I'm new here but just had to reply as I know exactly what situation you are in. I went on holiday with my Mum and Dad, my brother and his girlfriend and their kids. Oh dear what a mistake that was! Like you I will not accept being downright rude to my face so when I asked my brother's oldest to say please to get some popcorn (and he refused and snatched it) I got screamed at and told I was totally unreasonable and got a torrent of abuse! We went home that night, I was apalled.

Wanted to say that you are not being unreasonable and hurray to your other half for sticking up for you.

I know exactly where you are coming from, I don't get on with H2B family they took a dislike to me when we first met 5 years ago!! Anyway he is having his whole family to the wedding, and I have had to apologise to his mum for things I said in temper URGH eloping looks like the best option from where I am standing lol.

Just try not to let it ruin your day, ignore them I know its easier said than done but sometimes you just have to focus on whats important in your life and his family shouldnt be top of that list. When they do your head in, just breath and focus on something nice lol thats what I try to do

x

In all honesty - I would never have said sorry - it was your holiday too - you should have been treated with respect by all of them - and if im totaly honest - if my H2B family spoke to me like that I would be happy he had disinvited them too - theres no need for it. . you go on holiday to relax not to be screamed at for stuff ur doing "wrong"! I wouldnt have accepted the kids beng so rude to me either.

If it is going to be a massive issue having the wedding with them consider the elopeing idea - at the end of the day its all about you and your H2B not anyone else!!

Sorry if this seems a little bitchy

Hannah xx