My poor friend

Your poor friend.

My ex isn't entirely dissimilar, we'd been together for 5 years before we bought a place and he proposed. Within 6 months he left with a girl he worked with and was saying he'd felt pressured into it too quickly.

Men are tricky creatures that I've given up trying to understand. All I can suggest is that you're there to listen to your friend and support her with whatever she wants to do.

Oh, your poor friend. I think she certainly has a right to some level of commitment after ten years! My brother and his girlfriend split up in similar circs, after about eight years together. She wanted to get married, he took a very long time mulling it over (ie months) then decided that he didn't want to. Eventually they split up.

No one could understand it at the time, but from what he's said subsequently it makes sense. He's said he knew deep down that she wasn't the one for him but that it was easier just to let things drift. When marriage was mentioned seriously, he had a vision of himself in morning dress having to be talked out of doing a runner by the best man - so thought it was better to end it then. It's heartbreaking, but maybe your friend's in a similar situation? Perhaps in the end splitting up now is better than later?

Thanks both. I emailed her back and told her that maybe this is best. If he's not sure now he is never going to be - I mean after 10 years, you should know! And she should just try and move on as best she can. I was never sure he was the one for her but she was so happy with him, that's all that mattered. She gave opportunities up to stay with him, helped pay for his uni etc. I suppose saying that "it may be for the best" isn't going to help her in the short term. Wish I could go give her a great big hug.