My wedding has been totally ruined....

Not worth the effort of even worrying about it

Ohh gutted. bridezilla moment but i understand. but remember ur wedding is wat u make- its about u getting married n commiting 2 ur husband

I am more upset that my family won't be able to afford 2 weddings within 7 days!

Oh no,not in the same league but a ex work colleague of mine who was only seeing her man for a few months (although she has known him for years) announced that she was getting married two months after me and booked it for three Weeks before.

Hey ho though....you only get married once,this is your special day,every wedding i have ever gone too has meant something different to me. Try not to get too upset.

I can understand your worries

The only thing i can suggest is to speak to your family see what they say

good luck xx

I'd speak to your family and see how they feel but apart from the money issues for guests just think that your wedding will be what sticks in their memory as it's the later of the 2 ? x

Do you mean they won't be able to afford as guests or won't be able to contribute to your day? No idea when your wedding is, but surely people have enough time to plan for this if they're guests?!

I can understand the disappointment that the date is so close to yours, but you should be happy for your cousin all the same? x

Totally ruined is a bit of an extreme statement to make.

'Doing a Carrie' Aka throwing pigs blood all over your dress from up high would constitute totally ruined.

I'm sure there will be other analogies, none of which quite as extreme as mine. (Not had my obligatory morning coffee yet).

Apart from close family, how many "joint guests" are you likely to have - I'm guessing you don't share many work colleagues and/or friends?

What she has done is wrong but I'd agree with Chris, it's not "totally ruined", although I can see why you feel it's stealing your thunder. Just stick with your plans, after all surely the most important thing about the whole day is marrying your partner rather than being worried about being upstaged?

Plus it's also only 50% as bad as you think. Unless your h2b also has a family member getting married a week before.

Oh no! I know its hard to see when your angry but she does have every right to choose whatever date she wants. If she has done it to "steal your limelight" that's naughty, but it might be a special date to her. Remember with your wedding being last people will remember yours and as soon as hers is over (and during it) people will be looking forward to yours and be commenting how "your next" and being the last one, it will leave the lasting memory.

We booked our wedding for 12 August and 3 months later my cousin booked for 31 July. She then got pregnant and so had to cancel and so the issue was irradicated.

I think chris is right! its far from a disaster unless shes havign it at same place, same BMs, same dress which in geusisng she isnt!

Every wedding is different, i woudlnt be too fusssed!

Just see it as a warm up! Dont worry to much, there isnt much you can do and carry on enjoying your planning.

I'd be furious as well. I think its rude - would be bad enough if it was a friend but for a family member to do that is harsh.

I wouldnt get too bogged down with worrying if people can afford the two weddings etc - thats something that is totally out of your control.

Just concentrate on making your wedding your own special day. x

I feel your pain SaSaSi. My step-brother (who actually phoned Dad on Xmas day to say that he was thinking of splitting up with his GF) proposed to her on Christmas night! I was sooooo annoyed, me and OH had only been engaged for 8hours! Now, my Netball coach (who I love, dont get me wrong) got engaged last week has booked her wedding for the day before mine! I can't see all of my team mates going to both weddings. ?

I can understand why you are hopping mad at a family member being rather inconsiderate like this but it will only ruin your wedding if you let it. Your family will have enough notice to get themselves organised to attend both weddings & I'm sure no-one will want to miss either wedding. One of my OH's best friends who he has known for over 20 years is getting married exactly a week before we do & half the guests will have attended both weddings. We are making sure that both weddings are going to be very different so that nobody can compare them. I'm upset that I will have to miss OH's friends wedding as it is just too close to my wedding for me to travel to Jersey for it but that is about the extent of the problem. Your wedding is what you make it so stop ranting & get wedding planning to make your wedding memorable for all the right reasons! ?

Think of your wedding as the finale!

I am going to 3 weddings this year, the last one is my own, they are spaced out though. I think of mine as the finale, and was miffed when I found out that some close friends of ours are going to a wedding a week after our wedding. Now my wedding won't be the last one of the year for them ?

I'd be a bit miffed too, but I think it's a tad melodramatic to say it's totally ruined your day. Fair enough if you just need somewhere to have a bit of a tantrum and stomp your feet though. Better to be melodramatic here than at your family and end up causing a row!!

I think it's more the element of having your thunder stolen, which is a perfectly valid thing to be cross about. You're only going to get married once and you want to be able to enjoy it freely and revel in the attention. Be careful you don't let that side of things take away from the truly important issue of the day which is that you're making the most wonderful commitment to the person you love. Your cousin (you did say cousin, right??) could come cartwheeling down the aisle in a lime green tutu, yodelling and dusting everyone in glitter and it STILL wouldn't make your marriage any less wonderful.

OP, I think you need to man up a little here.

Yeah, ok, you cousin is thoughtless and I can understand being a bit miffed. However, to suggest your wedding is ruined is ludicrous! All those important to you will know you booked yours first and, provided you maintain the moral high ground, nothing but good can come from this!

Rise above it, keep a smile on your face and be gracious about it. Should anyone mention it to you and a little gem of a line like 'How sweet of her to be hosting the warm up party to our big day. It's always nice to see how other people celebrate their day, you can learn so much about how not to do it/Such a shame she's had a rushed engagement, we've had such fun organising ours over the past few months. Still, I'm sure it won't be too obvious...' happens to slip out, well, what can you do?!

Enjoy your planning for your big day, that's what matters.

If I had a cousin who got engaged after me & then booked her wedding 7 days before me I would think the 'chosen' proximity of their date to mine was rude - and I would think so if it was 7 days after mine also.

I dont think its very fair on the family members either - but my family invite all aunts, uncles & cousins to weddings and in my family that would be very much frowned upon. EG my cousin got engaged the christmas after me & OH and got married within the year - they didnt have chosen their date this year because it was too close to mine. We all have big celebrations and all try to be as considerate to each other as possible. Quite frankly thats my family eitquette and how we operate - and it works for everyone in our family.

I think Mrs B to Be is justified in being upset - I dont believe that her wedding is totally ruined - I dont believe its ruined at all - but I do understand her feeling miffed / upset.

See? Not so bad after all!

Nice distraction technnique!! lol

Seriously? We decided on our date around the same time as two close friends also decided theirs - ours was April, the next was May and the last Aug. No big deal at all - all very different weddings - all great days. Totally ruined rather discredits what the day is actually about - you and your OH getting married! Sorry by that's my two penneth

I have to say this would anger me too! I had something similar with my sister in law.

As others have said your wedding is not ruined. Yes it is 7 days prior but so wot....

you have to ask yourself where is it are they getting married and why was it this date remember sometimes this is the only date she could get....

We booked our wedding as H wanted to married before he turned 40 the only date they had left in the time we wanted was the 22nd August. On booking it I found out my cousin was looking at the 21st I was miffed more so due to the fact her dad is my godfather and was concerned her direct family would not attend mine. I knew I would not be able to go hers for obivous reasons and my mum would have gone but only for the day as such. In the end she got married 2 weeks before.

Sadly I did not attend as it was 2 weeks prior, but it was nice talking to her about the planning and everything we had 2 different weddings and different family there in the end which worked out fine. She and her husband manged to attend ours as well which was lovely

Its your wedding no one elses she might want different family there to you. Just remember she might not have done it vindictively. As this is the only date she could have got

You and your cousin have got issues.....issues..... issues

What you need's a big box of tissues, tissues....tissues.

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Love this! ?

It's not a disaster, the same day would be a disaster!

Why is the film 'Bride Wars' springing to mind here?!? ?

Ok, yesterday I might have been a bit dramatic, it was just a bit raw!

It was more the way she dealt with it that got me, she just text me and saying she had booked the venue, the date and that she was going to ask my sister (my MOH) to be Chief. When I pointed out mine was the week after, so how was my sister supposed to book 2 hen do's and help at 2 weddings in a week, she said she didn't realise. Then she started talking about a Justin Alexander dress I have had in my planner since June 10, I am just getting worried people are going to turn up to the same wedding twice! I really do not want it to turn out like Bride Wars or cause a family arguement so I have been really civil with her and have vented on here, you lucky people?

I am happy for her, I have been helping her find venues, bought her a planner, been really open about what I am doing, took all my wedding magazines to her for ideas, so I am not just throwing my toys out the pram I just honestly think it is too close and a bit inconsiderate for guest knowing that the majority of people will be at both. We are a massive family and it means that around 80 people have to find 2 outfits, accomodation, travel costs and we don't do things by halves so it is a major outlay for people. I have spoken to family about it and they are in complete shock that she has done it so close, one cousin has 4 children and that means 12 outfits for one family alone. The only good thing is that my cousin who lives in Australia will be able to attend both!

Thanks people, I will stop whining now, it is not the end of the day! I have seen people on here go through alot worse!

Have a wee ? x

Haha thanks SaSaSi x

Minus the cartwheeling, not very athletic and possibley the yodelling this will be me! :-)