I'd put the kettle on before you start on this. Sorry it's taken me so long, and is so long I have cut it down, honest! Oh and apologies if it gets a bit fluffy too...
ETA another video
Days before
Tuesday night we had a 'last supper' at MILs. I felt guilty as her and her OH were so excited but H and I felt a bit flat, rather than the giddy and excited bride and groom to be we perhaps should have been. We soon perked up a bit and had a lovely evening.
Wednesday was my last day at work, I went for a nice lunch with my team where I was presented with a card and voucher. There was a whole co meeting at 4.30 which I ducked out of in order to get home early for the rehearsal, but it meant I left the office all on my own without the fanfare I was somehow imagining.
I got home to find an answer phone message from the flower man who politely told me that I was meant to pay him for the flowers the Sunday before the wedding, whoops! I quickly ran over to the church to apologise and pay him - crisis avoided!
Rehearsal was at 8.45pm, we had 2 out of 3 ushers, 2 out of 3 BM's, the Best Man and my parents there, so quite a turnout. It was really good fun. It made me realise that although saying your vows is really just repeating what the vicar says, it's a lot harder than it seems. Not because it was emotional, just saying the words in the right order wasn't easy. Listening isn't one of my strong skills so I made a mental note that I'd have to concentrate on that bit! Apart from that the whole thing was a real giggle, the vicar was cracking jokes throughout too, which I liked.
After the rehearsal we sent everyone next door to the pub whilst we checked the CDs worked on the stereo. I'd managed to get this guy to send me a CD of his oasis tracks, which was meant to be a surprise for A but I decided to let him know then. Apparently he'd heard me on the phone so already knew, but hadn't heard the music. He loved it. We then tested our exit music, all the vicar could say was 'Well, it's your wedding...'
We joined everyone in the pub and buzz of excitement amongst our friends and family was so sweet and contagious.
I didn't sleep much on Wednesday night. I didn't feel nervous at all, but maybe I subconsciously was, or was just too darn excited to sleep.
Most of Thursday morning was spent at the beauticians next door to my house having a full leg and bikini wax and my eyelashes topped up. I'd first had my eyelashes done two weeks before and at first had hated them. I'd asked for the shorter ones but let her talk me in to having the longer ones and felt I looked like a drag queen. However, after two weeks I'd gotten used to them and, dare I say it, actually liked them. A lot. The beautician was really sweet and said she knew I wasn't happy last time, and we agreed to use a few more shorter ones and the result was perfect! Phew!
Thursday afternoon Mum came over in Dad's van to help take all the tables decorations, post box, garden games etc. to the venue. Our usher who was going to do the MC duties the next day also came along to familiarise himself with the venue. He was just a tad nervous.
Thursday night we went out for a drink and curry as our last night as boyfriend and girlfriend. I loved how A kept talking about the wedding, the bits he's looking forward to and what bits he thinks people will like the most. I asked him what he thought my dress would be like and he said 'definitely strapless', and then described a princessy type dress. I had to try so hard not to say anything to him.
When I first went dress shopping my only criteria was it had to have straps. I eventually bought a strapless one but had had straps made for it, although I was still undecided whether to wear them or go strapless.
I didn't eat much curry that night. Neither did I sleep much, again.
Friday was spent picking up the last few things, having the cake delivered (A's nan had made it, but put it together at ours otherwise it would have been too heavy for her to carry)
I had my nails done at 3. The beauticians is next door to my house and the church is just in front of that, so I spent the hour just looking at the church and chatting to the lady, trying to make it all sink in. It didn't.
Dad came to pick me up at 6, and so I said goodbye to my boyfriend for the last time. Had a little tear, but quickly wiped that away, didn't want dad to see me cry!
We picked up a bridesmaid on the way, and dropped of a card and presents to the two little bridesmaids.
Got to mum's and the house was full, there was a lady doing my mum and other bridesmaid's nails, my CBM all the way from Holland and her mum, my nan and granddad from oop north, my friend and one of my brothers.
My CBM had her hair cut earlier in the day and they had made a bit of a hash of it. Her hair is very short anyway and she'd asked them to leave her fringe long but they cut it very short. We tried for a while to style it so it didn't look too bad but gave up in the end.
We ordered Chinese and Pizza, which was when I realised I'd not actually eaten since the curry the night before. Whoops! We then settled down for Bride Wars whilst Dad and Grandad wisely went out for a drink.
After the DVD we had a quick dance practice for our secret routine dance.
I wore the hoop to double check that I didn't trip over it!
My friend left for the night and I then gave the bridesmaids and my mum their dressing gowns.
And off to bed! Just before I went into my room one of my bridesmaids said to me 'It's been really weird, throughout all this planning it seems like you've done this before...' I immediately thought of hitched! If only she knew...
Saturday
Really didn't get much sleep, despite taking enough sleeping remedies to knock out a horse! Every time I almost fell asleep I got so excited that I was falling asleep that I woke myself up again. Finally drifted off about 2.30. Woke up 15 minutes before my alarm at 5.45. I remember lying in bed telling myself that today is my wedding day, I still don't think it really sank in though.
I put on my Bridezilla dressing gown and went downstairs to see mum in the garden, and not in the shower as we'd planned, I told her off for not telling us she'd changed the plan so I got in the shower instead. When I got out the shower R (bridesmaid) was up, she was so excited and said how surreal it feels and it's not even her getting married. God only know's what she'll be like on her own wedding day.
Before I knew it it was 7am and the make-up lady had arrived. She thought I was J (other bridesmaid), she couldn't believe I was a bride but still so calm. I guess I was really. She then commented on what a lovely day it was outside, I hadn't even noticed! I'd even been outside but it didn't even occur to me to check the sky! Maybe I really wasn't bothered by the weather, although I'm sure I would have noticed if it was raining!
Once the make-up lady had started on mum I went out to put the ribbons on mum's car as it gave me something to do whilst we waited for the hairdresser to arrive.
Z, my CBM, was up by now. She was doing her own hair and make-up so didn't have to be up quite as early as the rest of us!
We had a quick practice trying on the dress. I was keen to make a decision about the straps as I'd not tried them both on with the dress yet. Decided on no straps for the day but to put them on in the evening.
I got a call from a panicked hairdresser at 8.00 telling me their sat nav had given up on them, so I had to direct them from a couple of miles away. They arrived only 15 minutes late at 8.15 and got straight to work on me and J whilst R had her make-up done.
The next 90 minutes went by very quickly, after my hair was done, which looked just as I wanted, I went straight over to make-up. The flowers arrived, although I didn't get a chance to see them.
The photographer then called, her sat nav had directed her to the same place the hairdressers' had. Mum directed her to the house.
I was nervous at how my make-up would turn out as although I'd had a trial I'd since managed to get a little tan and with my new eyelashes was worried about looking like a drag queen. I needn't have worried, she'd done a fantastic job. I was thrilled with how the hair and make-up had turned out.
I then gave Z a card and gift as it was her first wedding anniversary too. Then my hairdressers kindly fixed her dodgy haircut.
Now was time to get dressed. I went upstairs, only to get a call from the chauffeur to tell me that, yep you guessed it, his sat nav had also directed him to the wrong place!
Mum and dad came upstairs carrying a huge bunch of flowers and a card, for a moment I thought it was from my parents then I recognised Ant's handwriting on the card.
The card started off with 'If only you hadn't asked me to get you a card this might have been a nice surprise...' ? This was the only point of the morning where I get a teeny bit emotional.
Then it was time to get dressed. As I was going braless the photographer was being very careful not to get a topless shot!
Dress was done, and off we went downstairs. I was half way down the stairs when I realised that Dad should be waiting at the bottom (just like in the films! ?) so we called him over. He held back a tear, which made me almost go. We don't really do tears in our family! This was also the first time I got to see the boys' outfits, although they were black (I'd said I'd prefer grey) I was pleased with them. I didn't realise the trousers were greay until I was in the car with dad.
It was also the first time I saw all the BMs' dresses together. Short background; I tried to play the cool bride and let them decide between themselves what dress to go for 2 out of 3 preferred long so they went with that. I then hinted that shorter is cooler and more practical, one of them really didn't get the hint, so I had to suggest then ask for a change. In the end, as one didn't want to go short, we went for 3 different styles, one long, another pencil and the other fifties. The fifties one didn't really work, so I'm told, and the netting was taken out. I was chuffed with how they looked. Quite funky, if I do say so myself.
It was then a photo shoot in the garden. We then spotted my grandparents who had stayed at my mum's neighbours on their balcony looking over into the garden, bless - all of next door were out looking at us!
One of my favourite photos is this one
My brothers are actually moaning 'Urgh, this is gross!'
The photographer was then telling me that she had to go, and as she was following mum to church it meant mum and the BM's needed to go too. This was the only stressful part of the day. There were 18 people in the house by now, and all needed to leave. I was stuck in the garden as my dress was approximately twice the width of the door so going in and out wasn't going to happen. No-one seemed to sense the urgency as much as I did. At this point I was glad I was wearing a watch as if I didn't tell everyone to get a friggin' move on I've no idea how late we would have been! I was still laughing and cracking jokes but secretly getting a bit annoyed that no-one was moving. Bridezilla? Just a tad, perhaps.
Eventually everyone had left and it was just dad, the driver and me. I was sending dad in and out the house trying to make sure we had remembered everything and locked all doors and windows. This 5 minutes allowed me to calm down.
We then got in the car. It was only when I approached the car I realised I had no idea how I was supposed to get it. I asked the driver who I guessed had seen this happen more times than me. (It's bum first, FYI!)
And we were off. Only 3 minutes behind schedule, which meant we should arrive at church 20 minutes early if no traffic, but as it's a 35 mile drive I needed that contingency.
As we pulled away I started to well up a bit. No idea why, but I soon wound down the window and pulled myself together.
I loved the journey to church with my dad, it was the only reason I got ready at my mum's and I'm so glad I did. We had a real laugh on the way. I asked him if he had a little talk prepared and he told me that my mum's dad had given her a 'are you sure' before they got married 28 years ago. But then said 'there's no way your backing out of this one!'
The air con was on full blast to stop me getting hot, which made my feet get chilly, so we had a little chuckle about how I was getting cold feet!
We were approaching the church with 20 minutes still to go so I suggested driving onto and off Canvey Island, then said 'oooh do I really want to go on Canvey on my wedding day, really? Oh go on then'. As we drove onto the island the driver told us how he lived on the island. Whoops!
Stopping traffic we pulled up outside the church and foolishly I got out before the photographer noticed we'd arrived. Not to mind.
Saw the last of the guests arriving, then had a few photo's taken outside of the church. We met the vicar outside then it was time to go. I'd been persuaded at the reheasal on Wednesday to walk in front of the BM's, so they were behind me. In hindsight I'm glad I did this.
At 12.01 (a miracle, me who is ALWAYS late, actually made it on time - ish) The music started (Wagner's wedding march) which actually sounded lighter on the organ than I thought it would. There are a couple of steps to walk down as you enter the church and I was so worried I'd trip over my dress so I took some very big steps to allow me to kick the hoop out the way. This meant I walked down the first part of the aisle much quicker than I intended to. Dad eventually slowed me down before we turned the corner to the actual aisle (aisle is 'L' shaped). I spotted a few guests in the pews, the first being the girlfriend of A's cousin who he'd met when he was travelling earlier this year, this was the first time she'd met all the family as they only returned a few days before. I think it was the fact she was a new face that I picked up on her but soon worked out who she must be. As I turned the corner I was so busy looking around I kind of forgot to look up to Ant. Luckily I remembered after a couple of steps and looked up. He was nodding and mouthing 'yes'. A moment I'll never forget ?.
Unlike most people, I have a lot of memories of the ceremony. The vicar was fantastic and got a lot of laughs. My granddad did a fantastic job of his reading, and ad-libbed at the end adding how he hopes we have a productive marriage, and how although Jesus couldn't be here to turn water into wine, A would make sure we don't go without today.
The vicar was very good and kept whispering to us what was happening next, I took this to mean that it was ok to whisper to A so kept whispering random things to him asking questions etc. I also felt the need to look round, what seemed like lots after I spotted the flowers I looked round to see what the pew ends looked like, then I'd spot a guest and smile, then looked round the other side to see all my side.
My OOS had a couple of errors, a couple of chorus were missed out of the hymns. I found this quite funny and was giggling away to the ushers, I've no idea if they were laughing at the same thing or not.
I wasn't sure if I was saying my vows loud enough, but I didn't cry or, more likely, giggle which was good so I just carried on. The video confirmed I wasn't saying them loudly, but hey only A and the vicar needed to hear.
We then went up to sign the register whilst the piano oasis tracks were played. I was surprised I even noticed them to be honest. We had a bit of a giggle with my brothers (witnesses) whilst signing the registers - plural as there are 4 of them to sign! We walked back down to the alter and had our first kiss as husband and wife
And then our exit music started which, understandably I think, set me off in a giggle. We had to wait for 15 seconds or so when I got the cue from my H ? to walk. The congregation found it very funny. H is a huge star wars fan, so this photo sums up perfectly how proud he was to walk out to this. Me, having never watched star wars, looking at him wondering how I let him persuade me to have this.
We had a few photo's outside the church and with parents, siblings, and grandparents. This was a bit of a kafuffle as the ushers weren't calling everyone over quick enough. I dread to think how long it would have taken if we were at the reception venue where everybody was more dispersed.
That done the boys then had the photos that were supposed to be done before the ceremony. This gave me a chance to get a BM to tighten my dress as it had loosened lots.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2vY1ephKFZ8
The guests were then sent on their way whilst we went for some photos around the church. When we finished the photographer went off one way and we stayed to say thank you and good bye to the vicar. As we walked back to the car two girls passed us in the church yard. They must have thought we were having a very small wedding as at this point there was no-one else left in the church yard apart from the two of us.
The drive to the ceremony was 20 minutes or so, which was nice as we could really catch up on the previous night and morning's events.
On arrival at the golf club we waited outside seeing in the last few guests before the photographer arrived for the car photos.
I got to kiss my husband a lot that day, and he couldn't say no. I took full advantage!
I was blown away by the room when I walked in, it all worked perfectly. My stylist BM couldn't believe how good it looked either - high praise indeed!
A was taken off for photo's on his own, these were meant to be done at the church before the ceremony but there wasn't time. I was then taken off for photos on my own before we posed for a cake cutting one.
The caricature was a great hit, as were the garden games.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s4vRrF5KaxU
We only had 4 group photos (everyone, friends, my family, A's family) and that was enough. We had lots of just the two of us which was really nice to just stand back and look at all our guests mingling, playing the games and generally having a good time.
To finish off we had some fun shots with the bridal party. There was also plenty of time for mingling and I even managed to get a mini scone - which were very popular. I expected the photo's to feel like more of a chore but I actually really enjoyed the time with my new hubbie and our closest friends.
The photographer commented on how she doesn't see many brides wearing a watch, so I replied 'I bet you've never seen a wedding running to schedule like this baby!'.
One of A's only requests for the wedding was a receiving line and it was now time for that. Only my mum was missing! We were about to start without her when she reappeared. I still don't know where she was! We got through 90 guests with 8 'receivers' in 20 minutes. It was a bit like a conveyor belt and if anyone took a bit too long I soon dragged encouraged people along the line. The caricature drew our picture whilst we were in the receiving line as he had too many people waiting for him beforehand.
Our usher come toastmaster made his first broadcast and announced us into the room. We made our way to our first table. Was nice to finally sit down as my lower back was hurting from all the standing. I only managed a couple of mouthfuls of the delicious starters, I think it was a mix of excitement and preferring to talk to the people on the table rather than eat, I just wasn't hungry. I was glad the ushers who were on this table had noticed the background music I'd spent ages putting together which was instrumental versions of Michael Jackson, Queen and Oasis songs.
It was then all change as we moved to our second table, stopping to say hi to the other tables on the way. We had our Best Man and CBM and their partners moving round tables as well so there wasn't 2 empty seats. At the second table I was sat next to one of A's uncles, he was so chuffed to be sitting next to the bride! We loved being able to catch up with the next set of guests. Everyone on the table loved their poker chips! I was worried people would think them tacky, but they went really well and out of 90 only 5 were left, 2 of which people have called to ask if they can have them. Again I didn't eat much, but what I had was lovely.
I used some of my non-eating time to nip to the bathroom to 'freshen up', it was only when I got into the bathroom I realised it was the first time I'd seen myself in the mirror since getting ready in the bedroom that morning. Luckily hair and make-up was still in place! I then decided I also needed a wee! I didn't fancy the walk all the way across the reception room to get my BM who had been assigned 'toilet duty' so I decided to go it alone....
Actually wasn't that difficult, made sure I grabbed some paper before hoisting my dress up and going front in. I couldn't lock the door behind me, but hey it's my party if I want to wee with the cubicle door open I will! I was so proud of my accomplishment, I even told a table of friends on my way back ? ?
Onto the last table for dessert. As per the other courses, I could only manage a couple of mouthfuls of my favourite proffiteroles.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tr6L1pJ-jVM
Now speech time. My dad's was lovely, funny and very heartfelt. He's not really used to public speaking although did do a small FOTB speech on behalf of my granddad at my aunt's wedding last year. Was very proud of him.
Next up A, who does a lot of presentations as his job. It was quite long for a Groom's speech but was also hilarious, was very proud to have him as my hubbie when I looked around to see the room in stitches at his jokes. He told how really I'm one of the boys as I like paint-balling and am on their go-karting team etc, but the transformation from man to woman today was quite remarkable! Charming. ?
A's brother (best man) was next and he did a fantastic job, I literally cried with laughter. Very pleased. Lastly was our usher/toastmaster who did a little speech too. Unlike A and his brother he's never done any public speaking before and was nervous beforehand but did a very good job. Including presenting A with a mankini, I'm not sure why but it got a good laugh anyway!
It was 6.35, evening guests had been told to arrive from 6.30 so only 5 minutes behind schedule. Yay!
I don't remember the tables being moved around, but some of the centre tables were moved to make room for the dancefloor. I think I was in the bathroom at this point having my dress re-tied and the bustle done up. Damn not eating for two days, I think I was too slim for the dress. I toyed with the idea of putting the straps on but thought as the dress is sitting a little bit lower than it's meant they'd probably dig in.
The bathroom was always really busy. The basket of toiletries went down really well and the bucket of flip-flops was empty by 7.30! I really recommend this, it's a relatively cheap idea but was so appreciated. I think the boys felt left out that they didn't have any goodies in their bathroom!
Evening guests were arriving my now, so we just mingled greeting our new guests and catching up with the 'all dayers'. This hour seemed to go really fast, which is weird as the day didn't seem to flash by as most people comment on. I think this is partly because it was a long day and also because I was aware of this I made a point to take lots of mental snapshots. Me and A also spent a lot of time together, which perhaps helped. Oh and because I had a watch I was aware of the day going past more.
Whilst the guests were arriving my BM turned the table plan round and stuck the Polaroid snaps I'd asked a friend to take for us up. People seemed to like this idea, it allowed them to see a bit of what had happened earlier.
Now was time for our first dance, to Elton John's Your Song. The DJ got people to join in 2/3's way through which we liked.
Then it was party time!
The dance floor always felt full and it's lovely being able to go round to any group of dancers and be welcomed into the middle. Literally centre of attention all night, my dream!
At my hen weekend we'd had a line dancing lesson and one evening after too many drinks decided to put together line-dance-inspired routine for the wedding. I'd spoken to the DJ beforehand who was on board and we decided to do it after the real cake cutting at 8.30. At 8.00 myself and my 14 hens, along with my two flower girls snuck off for a practice. As we all live in different part of the country I'd put a video on you tube a tutorial, it had obviously worked as we were all in time.
As we walked back into the hall a flustered magician came up to me apologising for being so late but he'd been in a car crash. I hadn't even noticed he wasn't there on time, (I know me with the watch!!), I was more worried that he was ok, he was and so went off to entertain our guests with hi close up magic.
After cutting the cake for real
We did our dance. Despite me practicing it 20 times a week for two weeks I managed to make a wrong move. We recovered, but the whoel thing was a bit comical. A BM stood on my dress. It was hilarious! Thank god there was so many of us that we could all laugh together. Never mind ?
At about 9.30 me and A went for a walk. I've never heard A so positive about anything, ever! He really couldn't believe how well it had all gone so far. He was right, the day couldn't have been any more perfect. We then got a bit stuck as the only way to get back was to walk through the club house of the gold club, where civilians were. As we walked in I said to some guys playing pool 'Excuse me, do you know where the kings suite it, we're trying to find a wedding', they started to give me directions before the penny dropped.
As we got back to the main entrance we said goodbye to the videographer, and thanked him for making the trip all the way to Essex from Portsmouth in a day. We only paid him expenses as he's just starting up, was very grateful he even turned up to be honest!
Back on the dancefloor (we spent a LOT of time there) it seemed everytime me and A got on the dancefloor everyone formed a circle around us expecting some kind of funny dance (A seriously believes he is Michael Jackson when he dances, I play along). Everytime I tried to join in with the circle to leave A on his own in the middle I got pushed back in.
The DJ played a thriller type song (not sure if it was a version of thriller, but was definetly MJ) and A was actively keeping me in the middle of the dancefloor. When the song finished he put me to the side, and when I looked around all the ushers, best man and my dad were walking like zombies into the middle. Then I realised they were doing Thriller! (Very similar to this). Brilliant! I never laughed so much, or, weirdly, been so proud. They pulled it off big time. Even my dad, who I would never dream of doing such a thing. It turns out he and one of the ushers were doing it for the very first time, the others had all practiced together. This was definitely the highlight of day for me.
The rest of the night was simply amazing. All out friends and family mixing and, well, rocking!
Our last dance of the night was Man In The Mirror sung by Diana Vickers (X Factor, 2008). And what a note to finish the night on, dancing with all our amazing friends and family around us.
We took the guest book back to our room with us and smiled and laughed as we read through all their comments.
The next morning (Oh come on you didn't think I'd end this epic story just yet!)
We woke at 4am just playing back the days events, giggling and remembering.
After A went to knock on everyone's door to wake them up we went for a walk around the golf course (no we didn't do that!). I decided I'd wear my veil as I wasn't ready to stop being a bride just yet! I also had some t-shirts for us to wear
We then picked up all the table decorations and packed the cars before having breakfast with everyone. It was such a great atmosphere and we got a sneaky peak of some photos.
All in all we honestly couldn't have asked for a better day. I think my BM summed it up perfectly with her message in our guest book
"I think wedding days were made for the two of you! I've never seen a couple have more fun on their own wedding day. Everything was perfect today, everyone had an amazing day"
