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I agree with Old Bear, their behaviour is disgusting and it's not 'men' I know plenty of men that would be far more considerate than your OH and his friends are being. They need to grow up and show some respect.

I had a mmc last November and had to have a ERPC under GA, because of that I couldn't be alone for 48 hours and although I was ok physically I certainly didn't want to be alone.

I agree that your OH and his mates are being very insensitive and probably making things a lot harder for the lady concerned as she might be feeling like her OH doesn't really want to be there with her with all the pressure his friends are putting him under to be on the Stag...

I don't really know what else you can do to remedy the situation though, short of going to wherever the stag is taking place and confiscating all their phones so they can't hassle him i don't think there is anything else you can do if, like you say, you have explained to your OH it is upsetting her and that they really should just leave them to deal with this and accept that the best man won't be there..... I think the best you can do is extend your own sympathies to the Best Man's wife and ask her how she is yourself and then give your OH a good talking to when he gets back so he'll hopefully see the error of his ways and behave more sympathetically in future situations

What Old Bear and Han-Bag said!

I think it's outrageous that they are hassling the best man and this poor lady in this way.

Her head must be all over the place and she doesn't need a bunch of drunken overgrown kids winding her up every few hours!

I would have kicked right off at my OH if his mates were doing this.

They are selfishly making a very traumatic situation ten times worse.

And I don't buy all this 'just being men, men's men' nonsense either! That's learned helplessness b *llsh*t!

They are grown adults and it's about time they grew up, thought about someone else other than themselves.

I'm actually shocked that anyone could consider something that is essentially a p*ss up and being more important than what is essentially life and death.

Sorry for the swearing but this kind of thing makes my blood boil!

I think it's disgusting the way they are hounding him after whats happened. Not only is it upsetting his wife, it's probably upsetting him and now it's upsetting you as well.

However given that you've told them to stop already a few times I'm not sure what else you personally are supposed to do given that you are not with them. Has the best man actually told them to back off?

Is your OH actually contacting him or is it just the other stags?

If it was my OH as well then quite honestly I'd be questioning the kind of man I'm marrying and how supportive is he going to be if you find yourself in a similar situation down the line (sorry if thats a bit OTT but it's my opinion).

As the others have said, everyone deals with things differently.

My best friend had a miscarriage at 15 weeks and had to have surgery as the baby is too large to pass naturally at that stage. She was of course devastated, as was her husband, but she wanted him to go on a stag weekend around ten days later. I can hand on heart say she meant it too because she wouldn't lie to me about her feelings. She genuinely wanted things to carry on as normal as possible. Maybe she was in denial and wasn't ready to face the truth, but that is what she wanted.

You friend clearly wants her husband by her side right now. And if that's what she wants, she shouldn't need to explain to you or his friends, the HUSBAND should explain to them. The fact the friends haven't heard from the husband himself, is probably making things ten times worse as you are all messengers and getting frustrated. The husband needs to man up and tell his friends what he needs to do right now. And the wife who has had a miscarriage should be telling her husband these feelings, not you.

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You have hit the nail on the head there. The Best man told them this weekend would carry on as planned. And now the boys are asking where he is. Quite rightly if they are expecting his company.

The best man should have said from the start what had happened if the others weren't clear and the impact that would have on this weekend. Instead he has pussyfooted trying to please everyone and is now pleasing no one.

This is a horrible weekend for all involved but it will pass. Time is a great healer and so in the meantime just try an be there for everyone involved but stay neutral without taking 'sides.'

Personally, I'd contact the husband, explain how upset his wife is and ask him to turn off his phone for the weekend. That way they can call and text all they like, but they won't get through.