So OH gets in last night from visiting his sister as it is his nephew's birthday. While he is there, sister finally RSVPs by giving him a card that says her name and her son's name on it. Then hints to OH about bringing her new boyfriend to the wedding, who she only got together with a few weeks ago. (She updated her fb status at the time, and OH and I said that we bet she would try to get him invited, and no way José, as he has only been around a couple of weeks, we have a new very restricted budget, and we are sick of people presuming they can just add on new partners when they feel like it.)
THEN she also asks on behalf of their sort-of stepbrother, who has had an affair and just had a new baby with his dad's best friend's wife (oh yeah!), could one of this woman's previous children please come along to the whole day, as she is a similar age to her son and it 'would be nice for him to have a friend at the wedding and make it easier for me during the day.' This stepbro has RSVP'd already, putting just himself and the woman's name on, and leaving off the name of their new baby even though we said 'babes-in-arms welcome'. Her 2 daughters from previous relationship aren't invited.
Instead of saying to his sister, 'No sorry numbers are final but your new boyfriend and V's child are welcome to join us for the evening,' OH pussied out and said 'OK but we will have to meet your boyfriend first and I will ask the missus about the little girl coming.' Sis had decided to introduce new boyfriend to all the family this weekend, but only invited OH up last minute when we already had plans - that kind of things tells me she doesn't class OH as very important and really pees me off (like with the holiday situation, those of you who remember, as well trying to force him to invite their abusive mum to the wedding even though OH specifically didn't want - but it would make life easier for the sisters if he did.)
I'm sorry to rant on and on, but this kind of thing is so, so rude to me. I would never dream of trying to invite other people along to an event, and I am pretty sick of our friends and family treating our wedding as nothing more than just an event to bring a new partner to. Since when did a bride and groom make guest list decisions based on making someone's childcare arrangements easier? If she thinks having her son around for the full day is a problem for her then she does not need to bring the newphew for the full day, childcare is not a problem she has a million babysitters she uses for other events when she goes out, plus there are lots of people around who love her son and will quite happily entertain him to give her a break.
The other thing that bothers me is why hasn't the sort of stepbrother bothered to get in touch with us himself, firstly to thank us for the gift we sent, secondly maybe to invite us along with the rest of the family to meet new baby (which they all did last week, again not inviting me and OH), and thirdly to ask us himself could this daughter of his new partner please come. And when did it become OK to basically tell and bride and groom who you will be bringing, even though in the same moment you are giving the groom an RSVP card that says on it the 2 names who were actually invited? Why does being a new partner automatically guarantee an invite to someone's wedding? I don't want a stranger watching me take my vows, we were supposed to be having only close family and friends.
I am pretty mad at OH for not being upfront with his sister about it, knowing full well we had this very discussion firstly about this affair-woman's 2 kids, and then more recently about his sister's new boyfriend. Added to the fact when my friend did this to me about his new boyfriend a couple of weeks ago, OH saw me have a stressy meltdown - and now I feel has put me in the same position again. Also the way he did it was really irritating, came in at nearly 11 when I hadn't seen him all day, not even given me a kiss or sat down, and just announced that his sister wanted 2 extra guests, not a problem was it?
When I pointed out actually yes, it may be a problem, he goes 'I don't think I am asking for much.' He has decided he wants the sister's boyfriend to come, and I do see his point on that - if this guy is going to be around then yes, it would be nice for him to be included. But at this point in time, we did the guestlist, invites went out months ago, and she has only just got with him.
I had to point out it was 'only' 2 extra guests, but it meant extra work for me, also things like but our stationers have requested numbers ready to print place cards and so on, venue wants final numbers and so on, more or less everything is in place to go, not to mention our budget has no wiggle room at all which OH is well aware of. We are just waiting on 3 RSVPs before everything is done. At this point OH says, 'well my 3 mates haven't RSVPd so I assume they're not coming.' But he asked them last week via text, they said they were and it is in the post, you can't just uninvite people. When he started saying 'Why are you making such a big deal out of this?' I had to nearly bite my fist to keep from screaming, and pointed out that he has not had all the work I have had planning, he just looks up and nods a few times and I sort everything out. He has NO clue what has gone into planning this, and then after having to already re-arrange the seating and guest list recently to accommodate the sweetheart table he has decided he wants, he expects me just to do it all again.
I know I am being OTT on this because I could actually add the new boyfriend's name and that would actually be quite simple, but it is the way the sister/stepbro/OH have all gone about it, just assuming they can do as they please and no worries PB will just re-organise everything attitude, that has really peed me off. Arrgh! Ok rant over, thanks if you stuck with it this long.
