Need your advice re OH's ER ring ***UPDATE 9/6 - FLASHES!***

I think its a very pretty ring & I can understand why OH doesnt want to change it. However, I can also understand your reticence about it. The only thing I can suggest you do is tell your OH exactly your reasons for wanting to get another ring....it doesnt have to mean that she can't wear this one....maybe she could change to wearing this on her right hand. But, as you say, you need to make a swift decision if you have to organise your wedding rings around it soon.

Good luck x

I would be reluctant to discard the ring you already gave her because it now has sentimental value to her, I don't know the answer but if it was me and from past experience I would get the ring repaired and strengthened so they don't fall out in the future but then that's me.

Let her wear the ring she wants to wear!

That's a tough one.

Maybe there is a compromise where you use Alba Rose to design you a 'new' engagement ring that has lots of similarities to the original one, but is more like a 'proper' engagement ring you have in mind? They can do a matching wedding ring at the same time.

This comes to mind because I also had a 'temporary' engagement ring that I got attached to. Like yours above, it didn't have one central stone. We got it replicated by Alba Rose, with the same design of metal work but with a solitaire diamond in it. It meant I got a replacement ring, but also in my mind it was the same original ring, if you see what I mean?

I think it's ultimately her choice. Even though you didn't purchase the ring with an engagement in mind, that is what it's become to her. I get really sentimental about stuff so if I were in her place I'd be resistant to change. Why not raise the subject again, let her know that this incident has made you concerned about the quality of the ring you gave her and that you always wanted her to have a 'proper' engagement ring, then be prepared to abide by her decision. I personally wouldn't just buy a ring without speaking to her first. I would be quite upset if my OH tried to change my ER, even if his intentions were only the best, my ring means so much to me. I from what you wrote it sounds like your OH may feel the same.

This^^^^^^^^^ I learned my lesson early? I did the same thing and got my wife a new ring and it back fired on me, I was made to take it back, so now I'm very careful what I do???

Of course! It's not about my preference about what it looks like. Ultimately, I want her to wear a ring she loves. However, I'm concerned about getting a wedding ring designed to fit around a ring which is proving to be a bit shoddy!

Perhaps we'll just carry on as we are and if her ER ring gets any worse maybe we'll get another ER made to replicate that one. Just wanted to make sure we're not going to regret going ahead with the shaped WR order.

*bump for edit*

For the updated ER question:

Have you thought about getting the company that's making your wedding rings to make an ER too? They'll already have her ring size so will just need an idea of design from you?

Failing that, I've heard good things about Purely Diamonds (.co.uk) although only thrid hand, haven't actually seen one of their rings in real life.

Depends how proud you can afford/want to be. Do you mind second hand for example. If not then Ebay - you can get some real bargains! Scrutinise the sellers carefully and ensure it's a certificated diamond and you'll be fine.

You could look for a local jewellerwho does second hand jewellery, or even the local jewellers who can make rings up for you. Some offer excellent value.

Hope you have gone back to Ernest Jones though to complain and get a replacement.

Have you considered vintage? My ER is vintage and was very cheap. Worth looking on ebay and etsy or in second hand stores.

Maybe don't get a new engagement ring, but spend a little more on a really exquisite wedding ring? She could wear the original ring on her other hand and in a few years you could potentially get another ER or eternity ring.

Thanks all ... yes, I did think about getting an amazing wedding ring. i've spoken to the place we got the ER from from now and they've said that as it's within 12 months they'll take the ring back and fix or exchange it for us which is amazing news, gives a bit more space in the budget, though limits us now to choosing a new ring from the same shop.

I know you said you don't want to buy online from abroad, but my ER is from 21 Diamonds, which I think makes the rings in Germany? Anyway, I haven't looked at the site or prices or anything, but I know they must be relatively inexpensive as my OH is a student :L I don't know if they'd have the sort of thing you're looking for, but I love my ring and if you're concerned about dodgy online sellers, I can vouch for the quality

Otherwise, like others have said, vintage may be a good way to go?

HTH, Libby
xoxo

*ETA: didn't see that you'd updated before I posted this! That's great about the shop taking it back, hopefully you can push for a little discount? It is an inconvenience to you, after all

Well it's not a bad outcome, but I'd be pushing them for a heavy discount too due to the inconvenience and loss of occasion. We got 20% off our wedding rings from EJ without any hassle. Pave type settings can be dodgy, at least now you can go for a full claw setting that should be more robust. Enjoy shopping

Why dont you get a similar design made?

her are some ideas of rings that look like they have bigger stone settings:

Oh I really like that one 5th from the bottom ... thing is, she only wanted to keep the ring because of the significance of when i gave it to her, i think her ideal ER would be a solitaire.

You could always get them to just fix the original ER and still choose another one given the same might happen again? I'm having my original ER reset as the setting is only three pronged and is not suitable for the size of the diamond. I have bought a tanzanite stone (purple) which is my birthstone to have put in the existing setting so I will keep it as a ring as I'm attached to it. It just won't be my ER anymore.

In terms of getting more bang for your buck - I was on the receiving end of the ring so didn't do much research but my OH bought the diamond separately directly from a diamond merchants and then chose a setting at a jewellers to have it fitted. You definitely get more value that way as you are cutting out the middleman who will add onto the diamond price. So if you exchange - they may let you chose the setting there and use the diamond you supply?

Also, do some research on diamonds if you are after a solitaire and decide what you want to spend your money on - size or quality. Some people only look at carats (the shops often only display this) but that is only one grade of the diamond. You can have a huge 2 carat diamond which is a lower clarity rating and therefore cheaper than a 1 carat diamond which has better clarity. Some people concentrate on carat size as they like a big rock. I'm not a big ring person so was very happy that OH chose a smaller carat (1 carat) but very high clarity diamond (he had to give me the certificate for my home insurance). People comment on how sparkly it is all the time.

Having said all the above - I would be hesitant doing this without her consent - she has said she doesn't want another one and it looks like you are ignoring her wishes if you just buy her one anyway. It's like her opinion doesn't count for anything?

Thanks Cinnamon ... no, she's now agreed that she needs another ring - she is excited to have a new ring (of course!!) but sad that the first one didn't work out. what i meant about surprising her was that i just won't mention it again now and will surprise her at a special time with a new ring, since she did the original proposing! Equality n all that!

Thanks for your advice, i'll look in to diamond merchants

I think you highlighted the real problem. It was designed to be a dress ring and probably won't stand up to everyday wear regardless. Maybe you could use this ring as an eternity ring to wear now and then, rebox it and present it or one similar with a poem and get a claw set er?

This could be a cool idea for a set that has a nod to the original ring but is a solitaire that can be worn on its own

if she isnt planning on wearing the original you could attempt to resuse some stones as well like some people do with family heirlooms

*bump* for update

Aaaw wonderful news, so glad you got it all sorted with such a great outcome. xx Love the new rings We found EJ to be very helpful and reasonable once you get them into discount mode lol. We're very happy with our rings, and they've said they'll polish my ER for me before the day, and gave us a lovely double ring box for the day too xx

So glad you managed to get it all sorted - I think the manager of the store deserves a corporate feedback form to say how brilliant he was! really good that you're both happy in the end, and that solitaire is beautiful.

Glad it's all sorted out and relatively quickly too. The ring is so beautiful.