Neighbour Rant - advice gladly accepted - Update

Aw what a crappy situation to find yourself in - at your own home too, which makes it even worse.

I can smpathise too as OHs neighbour is also an aspiring DJ - luckily his Mommy is home most of the time and so he cant play it all hours, but when she goes away it drives us mad, I live in earplugs.!

I'm not sure what advice I can give - I can't see talking working with them, I just hope they move out TBH. That said, I am being completely honest here so I hope it doesn't offend but, I'd be miffed if someone complained I was making noise keeping them awake and then had a poker party with people outside talking/smoking etc late(ish) at night - I know the volumes are nothing like each other but having somone talking outside your house is enough to keep you awake so perhaps they feel you are being hypocrytical. It would explain the extreme nastiness.

That said, it's your house and i'm not suggested for a moment that you don't do that - its your place afterall, just trying to think what the atmosphere has changed so much.

Regardless of the above though, she has no right to talk to you like that - I think if someone did it to me, my OH would be right round there wanting to make sure it didn't happen again.

So... I've said a lot of words, but can't really give you a solution, sorry, and hope it gets sorted soon.

Ahhh that is just nasty what they are doing. Im the same as your oh and hate anything to do with confrontation but it also seems like if you retaliate they are gonna make your life hell!

I would do exactly what your going to do, diary, ignorance (as hard as it may be) etc.

It seems pretty clear that their landlord dont think much of them either? Im probably not much help, I wouldnt know what to do in this situation apart from keep myself to myself and carry on. At the end of the day you own your house, they could always be evicted??

Its a shame its got this stupid but I hope it gets better for you both x

Poor you.☹️

Not much advice to give, didn't want to read and run

Sounds like you are doing the right thing by keeping a record of everything and ignoring them.

The landlord has been quick to react so he may actually want them out for other reasons. It's also good that he is being supportive and not just letting the issues carry on. Stay strong and hope things die down soon.

x

What an awful situation, I can sympathise totally. I think you are doing the right thing by keeping a record of dates and times etc. Can the council do anything if you go to them with records of it before the police get involved?

I was in the same sort of situation in my old flat, the bloke in the flat below literally played thumping music all night every night from early evening until early morning. He played guitar through an amplifier at 4am, he had people gathered shouting and screaming under my window all night during the summer, and he smoked so much cannabis that my flat smelt of it all the time. I was like a living zombie! And his mother was my landlady and wouldn't do anything! I was record keeping too, but luckily I moved before it got as far as the police.

If they keep the abuse up then go to the police, you have a right to be safe in your own home. Sorry not much help x

I agree with Doris. It's good to know the landlord is doing something about it and not just letting it carry on.

I think you've done the right thing and gone through the right channels. Also I can kind of see her point that you've complained about their noise but then make your own. I know it's completely different kind of noise but it's still can be quite loud. But then again they are probably just looking for things to use in retaliation.

Keep the diary and report anything else to landlord and good luck. Hope they go soon. No one should have to put up with abuse like that.

Im gutted that things have got like this - but its been really awkward for a while anyway!

@ Kayl - I know what you are saying but in 18 months weve had 5 gatherings which is nothing for a couple in their mid twenties - they know these things arnt regular occurances whereas his music was 24/7 - even a sunday morning @ 9am.

Its how unreasonable they are that i cant get my head around - and there is no working with people like that. I think keepin myself to myself and ignoring is the only way here.

I know the landlord doesnt like them & vice versa. i would love them to leave but i actually think this will make them more determined to stay. they are beautiful houses & in a really nice area.

Im just drained - I have all this sh*te with my MILTB and this plus organising a wedding, working 6 days a week, tryin to do gym 4 times a week, lose weight, housework...ive just had it up to the neck.

Aw Sassi it sounds like you need a week off from lifes General crap to recover.

Sorry if you thought I was being rude, but you mention lots of poker parties in your OP so thought i'd mention it just incase there was something in it. It seems not though, a few parties in that time would be more than acceptable.

If I remember rightly, you can complain about noisy neighbours to your local council and where necessary they will send someone round to do noise measurements - even in the middle of the night! Its worth checking out. x

My mum has had something similar with her neighbours, which resulted in her having to go to the local police station in tears. Things still aren't 100% better (she has to have an early night on a Friday because they wake her up so early on a Saturday morning!).

My advice would be to ignore their comments...don't rise to it. I think I'd be inclined to keep a log of everything, noice, comments the lot.

Hope you get something sorted soon.

No No i didnt think you were being rude - I really appreciate other people opinions. OH mates all take it in turns to have poker nites.

I think our noise maybe does explain the extreme nastiness - i hadnt even thought sat nite was goin to be an issue. It really was just fella's sittin around a table playin cards!

Im just gobsmacked - everyone is entitled to their opinion but is it always really necessary to vent in such a horrific way?

I hope her rant has made her feel good about herself - maybe it will have calmed her down + she'll leave me alone!

OOOoh, I hate noisy neighbours. There is no excuse for it in my opinion. If it is loud enough to be heard in someone else's house it is too loud.

I don't think having a poker party with chatter but no music every couple of months is the same thing as playing amplified music! We have had npisy neighbour trouble too, but they were council tenants and it is very difficult to get people kicked out despite gathering evidence etc. Some people are so inconsiderate and I find that it is those without jobs that cause the most noise (perhaps they are bored).

The problem is that people are allowed to buy massive speakers and amplifiers for domestic use. I think that you should need a licence to buy such equipment, people with a 2 bed semi do not need the same equipment as a nightclub!

Well - fingers crossed it's the last you hear. I hope so!!

Thanks everyone for the replies I really appreciate it.

Im glad none of you thought i'd been hasty in going to their landlord - it really had gone on long enough.

I felt bad when the landlord said he'd sent a solicitors letter - its sounds very severe. But you would have thought the seriousness & the legal-ness of it would have made them bow their heads in shame - not turn into these nasty & vicious people. Just proof there was no reasoning with them.

Now the music isnt a problem, this intimidation & harassment is. Hand on heart If i get 5 instances against her / him Im for the police.

Thanks again folks - think a bubble bath is in order tonight!

You can do this. My SIL has to do it as part of her job or sort it out.

It sounds like you're having a really shitty time and this is the last straw!! I really hope you get it sorted soon and they stop with the rude comments. Vent on here as much as you want. Sometimes better just to write it down.

Thanks girls for all the advice - Im going to ring the council today - she was out last nite and his music was so bad me&oh could hear it over the man u match!!!

I think thats why she is so angry - she thinks the music isnt too loud but she works alot of nights & saturday afternoons & its seems to be at its loudest when shes not there - and wkends of course.

F**kin waster! Just glad i didnt see them last nite - hopefully i'll not see her for a couple of weeks & the dust will have settled a bit by then.x

If I were you I wouldn't bother talking to them. They have shown that they are uncivil so you will achieve nothing.

I would call your council and see what they can do about the noise. Our council have a noise team, if the music is on, you call them. They come to your house and see if the noise is deemed to be causing a "statutory noise nuisance" (this is an unspecific volume, it will be deemed to be a nuisance if it affects your everyday use of you home- not being able to hear your tv, or having to turn your tv up to drown it out is a good example). If it is a noise nuisance then they write to the landlord and the tenant to tell them that the noise has been witnessed and requesting them to stop. If it continues then you call them out again and again and build up a case. Ultimately they can have their equipment confiscated and or have to pay a £5000 fine (if they were council tenants then they would try to evict them).

I would recmmend only going through official channels from now on, get the council involved to prove your point, call the police if they are intimidating you (we were intimdated by our neighbour- the police paid him a visit, he denied it, but the police told him that neither he, nor anyone else on his behalf could take to us or make any kind of communcation with us).

I know how it feels, be assured you are in the right and they are in the wrong.

Didn't want to read & run,

There's some fab advice on there i don't feel there's anything else for me to add!

I hope it's sorted out soon, no one should have to dread going home

x

Thanks so much for that - such sound advice, Im so glad to hear fom someone who has been in a similar situation - not that i would wish it on anyone but you know what I mean!

I will definately ring the council today at lunch- maybe I should have done that first of all. But when we know their landlord socially anyway i just rang him - OH goes to football matches with him & hes friendly with OH dad.

I believe the landlord knew about it from other neighbours & thats why he didnt question it & just did a letter straight off - i really hope he doesnt renew their lease.

I really just want peace & quiet & to feel comfortable - i know the next time im in house by myself without OH I'll be bricking it!

I would love the police to tell her to leave me alone - and for her to actually abide by it. I dont care if we cant say hello to each other but sure as hell i cant live with having abuse hurled at me everytime she sees me - im quite a strong willed person & not easily upset but this is really getting me down.

I totally know what you mean. I dreaded going home. Or walking around by our home as I would often see him.

He was a scary evil looking bloke- he dressed a bit like a gangster. We, like you, tried to reason with him and stay on good terms, but after a few months he was taking the p out of us. You have tried to do it the nice way but they don't want to play ball.

If it makes you feel any better, after the police spoke to him he did stay away from us (and as I said, this was a gangster type who likes to make out he is hard). The police are actually a very good deterrant to people. What I would advise that you do is contact your local "safer neighbourhoods" team. These are police who are there for such situations, we found them to be very nice and helpful. If you google "safer neighbourhoods" you will be able to find your local one, there will be a number, give them a call!

Good luck ?

I googled safer neighbourhoods but im in NI and our nearest is an hr drive away But I will definately be seekin advice from the council.

This couple are both from areas quite a bit away from where they now live & are not close to their work. He also told us his ex wife isnt allowed to know where he lives and that the kids are picked up from mutual places by others - i now wonder is it him who is not allowed to know where she lives. And that there is a reason for living somewhere away from their families and friends. As you can tell my mind is going overtime!

So I am trying to keep myself right & use the 'correct' channels - which to be honest isnt really the done thing, especially in our age group - its seen as 'touting' in NI. Which is part of the reason she was so cross I think.

God Im knackered just thinking about it all!!