New! And a little dilema

Hi i was 19 when i got engaged now 20 and get married in two weeks we got engaged after 3 months and i also have a 2 year old from a previous relationship and my oh loves him as if he was his own.

do not worry just tell them they will probably be happy that your no longer going to be a single parent

Firstly congratulations on your engagement.

I would just tell them. You said you expected your OH's parents to be angry however they're pleased so the chances are your parents will feel the same way? Especially if you tell them that you only plan to get married after you've finished your course?

Well my circumstances are completely different to yours, but when we got engaged my dad was clearly not enthusiastic (although he did his best to hide it) and didn't seem at all interested etc. I think it was a bit of a shock for him (we'd been together 4 years at that point but he takes no notice of anyone haha). If I was to do it again I wouldn't run in all ecstatic and smiles as you say, I'd start off with something like, "I/we would like to tell you something, it's something we are very happy about and we hope you will be pleased... we have, after a lot of thought, decided to get engaged and plan a wedding for 2014. We would love to have your blessing on this."

That gives him a bit of time to assimilate it and mentioning the 2014 date shows you don't mean you'll be rushing down the register office tomorrow.

Just tell them!

Sounds like you have your head on straight, you plan to finish both your education and get married after.

Aw that's such a lovely story!

Yes you're young but you can only ever fully trust yourself and if you feel he's right then no one should or can say otherwise. I'm 25 (will be just 27 when we marry) and I feel young to be getting married, so I don't think there's one rule for anyone, just how you guys feel yourselves.

We were engaged 5 months after meeting (we moved in together after 4!) but I agree with you when you say, when you know, you know! If your parents get on with him, why would they be angry? All any parent wants is for their child to be happy - and as you got pregnant at 16, like you mentioned, nothing would beat that shock surely

One thing I would say - my OH asked my Dad before he asked me (although I did already know, but ssh!) and my Dad really really appreciated that... maybe see if your OH would mention it to you Dad, then it might soften the blow

Congratulations on your engagement. I would tell your parents that you have good news to share with them and that you hope they are as delighted as you and then fire away. They may be a little shocked but hopefully happy shock. My mum was 17 when she got married and 18 when she had me and 32 years later they are still happlily married so I don't think age comes into it when you've found 'The One'.

I've known my OH for ten years as friends but we hadn't been together long when we started to talk of marriage and babies and where the relationship was going. I've never been like that and have always been a bit disinterested in wedding/marriage but I just know he's the one I want to spend the rest of my life with.

Welcome and congratualtions.

i would bite the bullet and tell them. tell them you are serious and this isnt just a crush . they will get over it if they arent thrilled but they may suprise you x

Thank you everyone for both the congragulations and the advice.

I'm going to speak to my OH and see if he'd be willing to 'ask' my Dad first, to make it seem more formal and respectful. However, sometimes my dad can be a little intimidating and if OH is wary I'll just tell them tonight so there's time before OH next comes over.

Congratulations on your engagement! Sorry to put a dampner on it but I really do think the best thing to do is to get your H2B to "ask" your dad!! If your dad is intimidating anyways, imagine how he will be when you tell him & H2B hasn't mentioned it to him at all and then doesn't even tell him with you?? My dad is very protective and sees me as very young, I got engaged the day before my 19th birthday. My H2B asked him for his permission before and this gave my dad time to get his head around the idea before it became official (obviously this isn't exactly the same but I think your dad would still appreciate being told personally by your H2B) hope this helps and you haven't taken anything what I've said the wrong way! Don't worry about being young, we have been engaged for a year now and family are still saying we are too young - despite knowing each other for nearly a decade and being together for 4 years - as well as waiting until 2014, when I've finished uni (much like your situation!!) Thankfully my in laws to be married when they were very young and are still together now, so they completely understand!! Good luck with telling your parents, I'm sure they'll be fine with your decision as long as you are happy!!

Congratulations! You sound like you're pretty sensible so I'm sure they'll take it well. If not, then they've got plenty of time to get used to it. I would say make sure you wait until after uni as you have said you plan to, just because it'll be so much easier and enjoyable. I graduate this summer and am getting married in September. And with a new house to renovate atm theres no time to breathe ?

Good luck with breaking the news!!

We got engaged when i was 16, OH was 18 . were finally getting married now ( i will nearly be 23) we got engaged after 4 months of being together

just tell them lol dont worry about it

congrat btw

Congrats on being engaged Your similar to me, im doing my Masters of Legal practice, 3rd year, one more to go and then finished, thank god!

I've been with my other half for just over 6 years, and got engaged last year. I'm 21 and think that it does sound young to be engaged, but ive always acted and had to act alot older, so my family especially my mum were absolutely thrilled when we told them, my dad already knew, but mum and dad are seperated so she didn't.

I think if i had been immature, dependent on my parents then it may of been looked at differently, but they knew how serious we was, been together that long, have our house etc.. so knew it was serous

I would tell them in person, you know your family better than anyone and how they will take it

Welcome and Congrats!

I think you need to get it over with otherwise the build up will make it worse for you!!

I was going to say get your OH to ask your dad but then what if your dad says no? Someone i know who is still at uni (shes 23 and been with her bf for about 4 years) her OH asked her dad and he said no, he said he could ask after uni but would rather she concentrate on her degree etc so the bf had to respect that and gave her a 'promise ring' that he would ask her to marry him....If you just tell your parents then they can't say no!

it sounds like you are trying to justify yourself and you shouldn't have to!! if you are mature enough to look after a baby then i'm sure you are mature enough to make your own decisions about who you love and who you want to marry!!

Good Luck with everything! x

Congrats

Tell them and work out what emotions you are actually dealing with first - I have in the past blown up things I had to tell my parents thinking all the things they might feel, in the end they dealt with it and there was no blow out.

Firstly, what a lovely story. If you know what you want, then go for it.

I think your parents would be proud of you and what you've achieved to be honest. You became a Mother at such a young age but you're doing law and getting an education.

I finally told them! My dad hasn't said anything, my mum seemed happy and said if I was happy so was she, and my little sister cried aha.

Not as bad as I thought.

I was 19, he was 22....we will be getting married (finally) 5 weeks shy of our 14th anniversary. Doubt my parent were happy when I called them up and said "guess what, I'm living with my flatmate...no not just as flatmates" but they hid it well and let us get on with it. My only regret is that we didn't do it when we were early 20's and instead have left it until now when we're older and more cynical!