Newbie!

HI & Welcome to Hitched, sounds like a lovely proposal!

As for your future MIL- let it all sink in, let her get excited and let her tell you her ideas.

Once you and your Husband to be get an idea of what kind of wedding you like perhaps get her involved in a couple of aspects, for example my MIL to be is helping me with cake and flowers.

Good luck with your planning!

Ohhhh dear, the MIL How would h2b feel about handling her seeing as he is blood?

Congrats and welcome to Hitched btw!

Thanks for the advice!

A bit of background - h2b will quite regularly tell his mum she's interfering but then when he's at work she rings me in tears! This is the lady who takes her own lavender scented toilet paper everywhere and when staying at my house will wake up at 5am and start rearranging and cleaning my kitchen! Also when his brother got married she randomly rang his fiancée up to say she'd booked and paid for the cake! No consultation about colours or flavours etc!!

Her problem at the moment is I'm from Liverpool and we live here, all our friends and most family live here. However she rang me last night to say she didn't think Liverpool is a nice enough place for her son to get married and we should consider getting married where she lives in Cheltenham and she will start making enquiries!!!

Hiya

First of all welcome to the forum and congrats on your engagement!

I see the pickle you are in. Specially if she decides to find a venue and book it as well!

Sorry about the personal question, but is your mum still around and will she be part of the wedding?

Would she call the future MIL and have a chat with her? Maybe she can be your wildcard to tame the other mum, I believe once the mom of the bride steps up, it should help as well?

Hope it helps, good luck

x

Oh dear- I might elope in that case!!

But seriously if that is how she is and if she isn't contributing money wise then I take what I said back- you need to be as straight and direct with her as you can.

Congratulations and welcome to Hitched!

Ehehehemm.... CONGRATULATIONS!!!! I always get so excited over proposals, just waiting for my OH now ;-)

With regards to the MIL, if I were you I'd sit her down and say that you have a dream wedding, something you have wanted since you were a little girl. Let her know that you and your H2B are going to making the decisions, but you'd love for her to be involved and appreciate any ideas she may have, as you have never done this before and don't want to miss anything! But just inform her that you will be making the final decision, and if you don't go for her idea, she shouldn't be offended as you love that she wants to help but this is your wedding day, and you want it to be perfect and just how you imagined growing up. Hopefully then she'll take the hint!
Perhaps let her have something she can be in main control over? E.g. the cake, but give her colours and ideas of what you DO like, so that she doesn't get you something you'll hate and ask her to confirm it with you before she puts anything in place, and let her know frequently how much you love that she's doing this for you as it's taken a bit of stress off and that you cannot thank her enough for how she is being so lovely about what you want.

Avoid the negatives, feed the positives :-)

Hope this helps! Fingers crossed for you!

Thanks all so much for you help and advice! Yes my mum is around so I'm hoping she might be my secret weapon in trying to placate the situation. My other tactic was to say we don't want you working too hard for the day because its important for us that you enjoy it! I'm more than happy for her to come to bridal fairs and help out but she can be the sort of person that if you give her an inch she'll take a mile!!!

Thank you again for all your good wishes I think I'm still sat on cloud nine somewhere!!

Hello and welcome!

I hear you on the MIL dilemma, except mine is trying to stop the wedding rather than organize it haha!

To be honest as long as you and your OH stick together, that's what matters in all this. My FMIL uses every trick in the book and I leave it to my H2B to deal with, I don't even indulge her anymore. It's hard but if that's her approach my FMIL needs to be treated like the child she is acting like!

Maybe give it a few more weeks and then sit down with her and discuss her 'jobs' for the wedding? Give her something you really don't mind her having control of?!

Happy planning!

xx