Newbie! Lonely, scared, excited...

Aw, I would be feeling the same in your position. I know it's more expense but could you not both apply for passports and pay extra for them to be processed quickly? There's always something that doesn't go the way you want it to when you're wedding planning. I know it's difficult but try not to let them bother you too much. At least they live 200 miles away so you won't have to see too much of them after the wedding! It is a stressful time, I sometimes wonder why we're putting ourselves through it but I'm sure on the day it will all be worth it! Anyway, welcome to Hitched!

Thank you for your reply Wendy. Unfortunately buying passports is pretty much out of the question. We are having quite a small wedding and every penny is counted for right up to the last day. I'm really at a loss for what to do, keep arguing with H2B about this and it's getting me down.

I keep arguing with my H2B too. He has a lack of urgency about everything and I need to feel like everything is organised! I end up doing everything myself then feel resentful that he's not involved! I think everyone argues in the run up to their wedding to be honest and I think you dwell on it more because you are entering into such a big commitment. Can you speak to the wedding licence people again and see if there is an alternative to providing his parent's birth certificates? Maybe when everyone else logs on in the morning someone will know more about how these things work and be able to give you some helpful advice. If you're not going away I suppose it's a waste of money getting passports really, it's just whether or not there's another way round the issue.

Wow, reading your post brought me some comfort, I feel like I'm not alone in all of this. Thank you for your kind words. I will definitely call them on Monday and see if there is an alternative solution, I'm hoping there is a solution to this horrible mess. I will keep you updated.

Alex

xxx

Hi and welcome to Hitched. Everytime I read on this forum about how nasty some parents are to their children and how unhelpful they can be, my blood runs cold. I could never imagine myself putting my children through so much anxiety, pain and stress.

Could you have a word with mil2b, prehaps she would be willing to sneak it in the post to you!

You may even be able to get a copy from the registrar's office, I think if you know where fil was born and he's parents names, it might be worth asking.

I hope you can sort this out, or that your fil2b comes to his senses soon.

There must be another way if you cant get passports

i would call them and explain the situation

i also being the nosey parker would wanna know what my in laws are hiding i mean its a Birth certificate for christ sake, Are they really shy about real ages or something lol

Try not to let this spoil your planning hun if theres is will there is way so perservere hun

and if you need to vent hitched is your place also give us a flash of your things as you buy them and book them xxxxx

We had a similar problem, we ended up going to the regisrty office where the inlaw was born, filling out the forms etc and they sent the certificate through the post xx

Easy enough to copy birth certificates, but I think you may have misunderstood, I would check. When looking at proof of nationality for employment I have to see the applicants FULL birth certificate which gives the parents names, not the short birth certificate. I think they are unlikely to want parents birth certifictaes. Here you go https://www.peterborough.gov.uk/community_information/peterborough_register_office/marriages__civil_partnerships/arranging_a_marriage.aspx

Oops sorry, just read that complete link, guess you were born after 1983, so you do. I would stretch to the passport option if you can cur something else out and then at least you have them for a holiday.

with passports u only need a full birth certificate,

Thanks everyone for your suggestions. When my brother applied for his first passport they required a birth certificate from one of his parents so unfortunately that wouldn't work for us. We had a conversation with fil2b last night and he has apparently relented and is ordering a copy of his birth certificate today however, he is king of the procrastinators and will probably end up leaving it for weeks. It's so frustrating to be stuck in this position, he is British born and bred and there is no reason for him to be putting up such a fight because it is no skin off his nose. My parent's are so close to throttling the pair of them This whole process feels so unfair, I almost feel like we are underage and are having to ask our parent's permission to get married with all these required documents. I called the registry office today and thankfully they understood the whole problem and have booked the whole day for us so now we don't have such a strict deadline and can just go in when the birth certificate arrives and get the marriage license sent away for.

Would love to hear stories of troublesome parent's-in-law-to-be so if anyone is up for a giggle please post!!!

P.S. Thank you girls, it's lovely to have people to rely on!

Hi,

From doing some work around family trees you can apply for anyones birth, marriage or death record thorugh the government sites. Cost around £10-£15 per item, but alot cheaper than passports. Hope it all works itself out. We had 6 months to get married too and its definately do-able! ?

Just another update, hopefully the last one regarding this problem!! Partner's dad decided to order his birth certificate for us on Monday, text him in the evening and he started yelling at us, saying he hasn't had time to go to the registry office. We explained to him that he can call the GRO and order within 10 minuted or even go onto their website and order and he has access to both a phone and internet so there was no excuse. He said he wanted to go in person to the office which is well out of his way and he doesn't even drive. We asked him when he was planning to go and he said he didn't know, we could not handle this many mind games, it felt as though it was some huge secret that he was keeping to himself and that we were nothing to do with anything. We ended up telling him that we were ordering them online that very minute and he replied with a text saying "Do what you want, if you can't handle it." This text completely blew me up. I was offended that he cared so little about the birth certificate, I was upset that we only gave him one job to do throughout the whole wedding and he decided to screw it up as much as possible. But mostly, I was furious because he made my partner upset. All of this fuss and he isn't even attending our wedding.

Reason: It MAY be Ofsted week when we get married (we are getting married on a Monday.) I don't know much about schools and Ofsted but he claims that his school have said he is not allowed any time off at all INCASE Ofsted occurs during the time. Schools only get 2 days notice before Ofsted visitors and so even if it happened weeks and weeks after our wedding he won't be able to come because it will be too short notice. When asked if Ofsted happened in Sept or Oct if he would be able to attend then he told us he didn't know, how on earth can't he know?! He also told us that if he took time off he would have to pay £300 to pay a substitute to take his position. I don't know much about schools but I just feel like it seems too far-fetched and if it is true then it's completely unfair of a school to not give time off for weddings. Apparently they said the only time he could take off is if someone died/funeral or if he was ill himself. My grandfather is head of OT in a hospital and yet he managed to get holiday booked the second I told him, my father is manager of a car dealership and he also did, to be honest anyone in my family would walk across hot coals to attend my wedding. They would even just bunk the day off. I know I'm rambling and probably being supremely unfair so I'm sorry, I just needed to vent...