Newbie -stressed already!

Congratulations on your engagement! That scheme sounds lovely - especially for an Autumn wedding. It will be lovely!

As for your dad, that is a shame! What does he object to with regards to the tails? I think they look lovely! Don't let it put you off having them for your other groomsmen if you've always wanted them. If he wants to wear a different suit, I don't think any one else will think twice about it.

My grandad didn't want to wear the tails that the rest of the men are wearing because he says he's too short haha! I was a little upset at first, but then I thought, as long as he's happy, I'm happy! x

First of all, congratulations on the engagement and welcome to Hitched! Hope you're enjoying the first stages of being engaged ?

Second of all, regarding the tailcoats. I absolutely adore tailcoats and would have loved it if my dad and OH had felt the same. However neither of them would have felt comfortable in tailcoats and have said so. This doesn't bother me one bit as I would much rather them feel comfortable in what they're wearing rather than me having dressed them, if you see what I mean. It's also quite early on - you've just got engaged - so take a look at a few options in wedding mags or online; you may find that you like another look as well as tailcoats. Involve your dad as well. I pretty much left my dad to it in terms of suit shopping (well, my sister went with him) and he's picked out a fabulous suit which will look great on the day and he can't wait to wear it ?

Just reply saying "no problem, shame he won't match the wedding party". Don't start letting people dictate now as you'll regret it later down the line.

Welcome and congrats! I would hold off saying anything until your OH has decided what he wants to wear. If your OH decides on tails then your dad will just have to not match exactly. But it may be that your OH prefers another shape when he tries suits on in which case there's no problem.

This! Our Dads and brothers are going to match each exactly other but not Groom and Bestman who will match each other...if that makes sense!

Where about are you getting married, have you booked your venue?

Hi, congratulations and welcome to hitched!

I can totally sympathise about the awkward dad situation. All the men in our wedding party are wearing kilts but my dad refuses to wear one. I told him I wanted him to be comfortable but he still had to look the part so I gave him a straight choice of a kilt or tails and made him promise to at least try them before shooting me down. For a while he wanted to wear tartan trousers but after he tried them on he's agreed to the tails. All the men will have the same tie and buttonhole so it should be enough to keep him looking like part of the wedding party. He's moaned a lot about it but I didn't want him looking like he'd just popped along after work.

What did your Dad wear to his own wedding? I wouldn't force the issue just now, give him some time to come round to the idea and he might soften up.

Hi and congratulations.

My advice on the suits would be to not worry about it until a decision has definitely been made and then it may sort itself out, if it doesnt then you can deal with it then. I didnt like tails and neither did my OH and my dad was really pleased to hear this as he is quite short and doesnt like them...however when OH went to try on and pick suits he felt the tails looked too smart to not go for and so had to then tell my dad he is wearing tails...he is going to wear them with everyone else but is changing into his own suit for the evening do.

However, another option, we recently went to a wedding where the 2 fathers had dinner suits with bow ties in the same colours as the grooms tails and it didnt look out of place at all!! Happy planning! x

Hi and welcome! Congratulations too! I wouldn't worry too much at the moment as things do tend to change quite often in the months leading up to the wedding so plenty of time for him to change his mind. When our daughter got married both my hubby and Groom's Dad weren't very keen on tails but once they actually tried them on and realised that they aren't hugely different to a normal suit other than they are a bit longer at the back, they liked them and wore them with pride! I think men automatically associate tails with top hats so they say no before they've really thought about it. He can always change after the meal if he feels too overdressed.

Give it time. My dad was exactly the same. He wasn't wearing a fancy suit, he wouldn't stay in the evening and he DEF wouldn't be making any kind of speech. He did all 3 in the end. We did it in small bits and I made sure he knew I was happy with whatever he wanted. I think it helped when I showed him pics of the suits etc and said that is what OHs dad, best men and ushers were wearing. Would he like to wear the same and match? He opted for yes in the end, so perhaps do the same with your dad, or better yet, take him somewhere to try some on so he can see how they look and that they don't look as daft as perhaps he thinks they do.

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I would tell him to shut up and say its your day!

He's acting like a child, my dad does this. Then I tell him off and he sulks! Lol

Get him measured tell him that he should be honoured to be walking you down the aisle.

Good luck love!

Maybe you could ask your Dad just to try a tailcoat on? My OH was determined he wouldn't be wearing a tailcoat, however I asked him to just try one on...and he actually really liked it! When he then tried a normal suit jacket it on he said it just didn't look as smart so chose the tailcoat to wear on our big day! Maybe your Dad will feel differently after trying one on...

My OH doesn't like tailcoats but how about a three quarter length jacket? It's been good compromise for us.

My other half went into Moss Bros saying he hated tails because its too formal and hes too short but guess what....he tried on tails and he didnt want to take it off!! We are not getting married in a church, but a small local hotel, so I was slightly worried tails would look too formal but he's chosen it and he loves his suit, he picked it up yesterday and has tried it on twice already I've had to hide it from him now haha! I think your Dad could well change his mind if he just tries tails on, and if he doesnt well he can look the odd one out cant he!!

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Lol glad it worked out in the end

Glad it's sorted! Everyone seems to have strong opinions on what they think people should have at a wedding but so far I've found that if it's important to you and you can't find a compromise, calmly standing your ground usually means people come round eventually.

Oh that's fab news that he came round to it.

I remember my dad saying years ago he'd never wear a kilt, then when I got engaged I mentioned it to my mum 'so Dad won't want to wear a kilt then?' and she said leave it with her.

The next day she came back and said she'd mentioned that I'd like the men including him in kilts and his simple reply was 'OK then'. Phew.

He loved it in the end!

my wedding party is half tailcoats and half kilts. My family always wear their kilts for weddings and ours won't be any different. My very English groom refuses to entertain the idea. My half Scottish-half English children we're undecided on. I say kilts because they're my page boys, groom says suits because he'll be outnumbered by people in skirts.