NickJ

I think that is a perfectly sensible question and I have no idea if he could still race or not?

?

a racing track is not a public road is it? so therefore he can race. i cant believe you need to ask ?

yeah I knew that really I was just trying to make Breezer feel better.

cough

?

Thank you for explaining. I will not be mentioning this to Mr MF he has enough ammnunition to use on me when we are out with friends

I don't think it's obvious- there could well be a F1 rule saying that drivers mustn't have drink-driving convictions. I'm sure they've got all sorts of rules.

I don't think it's obvious- there could well be a F1 rule saying that drivers mustn't have drink-driving convictions. I'm sure they've got all sorts of rules.

The Monaco GP is on the road though isnt it? Or it was

I was going to ask that, but I was struggling to spell Monaco, so was going to say Singapore is on the road?

A few weeks ago I asked my H why Kim Kardashian used the stage name 'Nicole Scherzinger' when she sang with the Pussycat Dolls. He gave me an incredulous look and asked "are you serious?". "Yeeeeeees", I replied as he then fell about laughing and pointed out that the reason she had a difference name was because they were 2 separate people!!!! I told him that I had wondered why the Pussycat Dolls were never mentioned on 'Keeping up with the Kardashians'!!!

They do look similar though!!

Nicole (above)

Kim (below)

but its not a public road during the race is it? ?

Well no, but it depends on the laws in the country which I dont know. So its not a totally stupid question

Oh god ? sorry, but its a stupid question.

I had someone come out to service my car in my work's car park a while back. After they'd gone I found a bag of tools on the back seat so I called them and they came back the next day to collect them (despite having no idea what I was talking about). Turns out it was my jack. Man wasn't too impressed with me.

Waaaahhh, classic! I also wouldn't know what a jack looks like.

I flew from Glasgow to Plymouth last year a few times while OH was on deployment. My son wasnt quite himself after one trip and I was speaking to OH on the phone, he told me itll be the jetlag, he was serious ?

He was also reading the announcement pages in the local paper and came across a 13th birthday congratulations with a pic of the child as a baby--he looked up and said 'can they really expect us to believe that baby is 13?' ?

My H told his sister that square (Lorne) sausage was called 'squashage'- she believed him and when visiting friends in Scotland, she wanted to bring some home with her so asked the butcher for it and couldn't understand why they didn't understand what she wanted. He has always assumed she knew he had made the name up ?

I was in the pub with some mates last week and one of the guys had been at the site of a mine that had closed down. Cue him relating to us what someone had once told him about canaries down mines. Apparently the reason they stopped taking canaries down mines was because they would fall off their perches later due to too much oxygen.

To which I said 'don't you mean too little oxygen, because that's what they are meant to be checking for?'. He said 'no, because what would happen is they would go down the mine and they wouldn't get enough oxygen, so when they came back up the people would put oxygen masks on them. So then they get too much oxygen and when it wears off they get sleepy and fall off their perches...'

Canary sized gas masks ?

?My SIL is always falling for daft tricks. She also has a nice line in confusing people with similar names. She told my H that Iggy Pop appeared in an episode of Bones. It's actually Z Z top. And when questioned she thought they were the same person. This week, when asked who John Lennon was married to, she answered Yuri Gellor.

When going into town once, mom asked dad if he needed anything. He replied he was running short on glue and could she get him some 'Mangnes Cleggograb' (Mangnes was a local hardware firm) The shopowner laughed her out of the shop and to my knowledge she's never been back in there since.

Oh dear ?

I'm always getting things mixed up especially films and actors/film characters. H tells me lots of things which I believe and then pass on as he's "forgotten" to tell me he was joking.

I have lots of dim moments of my own though. I remember once bringing a car into a garage for a recall and on the way heard a weird squeaking noise I hadn't heard before. Thinking it was lucky I was on my way to the garage at the time they were about to investigate the problem when I realised I'd turned the back wiper on and it was squeaking because it was dry.

H surpassed himself at a gathering though where an american was telling a crowd about out shooting a certain animal back home and how they do it regularly. H was outraged as he thought the man was referring in a derogitary way to black people and had a little ouburst only to be set straight by everyone else. Thank god I wasn't there ?

I just tried to read this out loud to H but couldn't finish for laughing and crying ? ?

Yay, I am loving all these fellow dimwits. Jess, I notice you are very quiet, nothing to share? ?

MrP keeps a little notebook with what he calls his favourite "Poochisms", he just reminded me of my shock at discovering Status Quo were a real band, I thought they'd been set up for a comedy show ?

Pooch, I have told this one before, but it is Mr MF's favourite.

Driving past a turkey farm close to Christmas, I saw lots of small fires around the field where the turkey's lived.

"Oooh" I said

"What?" Said Mr MF

"now I know how you get smoked meat"

"How?"

"By making the turkey's grow up around fires so the inhale the smoke"

"What about smoked salmon?" Asked Mr MF, trying to drive whilst killing himself laughing

These are hilarious - I love the child lock story, I must remember to tell OH.

Reminds me of a biology fieldtrip when I was in the 6th form. It was raining and we were made to walk miles to a pete bog in the middle of the Lake District. The biology teacher was talking, I was so cold, tired and hungry and just wanted to go I mumbled something to my friend. He asked me what I had said and so I had to think on my feet.....at that point he was talking about a plant (or something) called 'sphagnum' which he said absorbed a lot of water. In order to cover up my moaning, i said that I wasn't surprised because actually 'sphagnum' was the German word for sponge.

He was overjoyed at this fact. Upon return, he put a huge display on the wall which included reference to my interesting fact and continued to teach it. I never had the heart to tell him I had just made it up because it sounded German! So gullible.

I like telling stories where I have duped others, it isn't so funny when it happens to me as I admit to being so gullible sometimes. My OH's friends like to tell girls they meet that they are underwater wood welders. I am ashamed at the amount of time it took me to figure it out.

TG

I once took my car to the garage complaining that it was making a weird 'ticking' noise and I couldn't figure out what it was.

It turned out to be dry leaves in the air vents.

I was on a site meeting and my OH called to say he would be late home as he had to go and quote for a wedding which was being held on a Wednesday. I muttered that Wednesday was not the norm of a Saturday wedding. He then said it was the second marriage for the groom and the law says if you've been married before on a Saturday before, you were n't allowed to be married on a Saturday again.

I was so surprised that when I came off the phone I told the whole group of site engineers and architects to which I got some very strange looks ?

Why was it a stupid question? I'd have thought it's not impossible for the racing team to have rules which prevent a driver being able to race if he has a driving conviction...