Nightmare

I can see their point of view, however, perhaps more so if she was older. At 3 it would probably be okay to celebrate another day?

Is your wedding booked? Can you change it to the following or earlier week at all? I know when our Daughters was close to family wedding, it was pretty full on!! However, it is your special day....

To be fair you should of checked their calander as they are important guests, I can see being offended not only did you forget an important family members birthday but now your trying to glaze over and make it THEIR fault

why dont you move your wedding one day instead?

she was actually born then but you could pick any day and assuming you dont have a giantic family im assume you could choose from most of the 365 days

yes the 3 year old 'might' not remember but the FAMILY will plus they might have plans/tradition or it could be he first big party if shes now in nursery and making friends, plus the 'might' is because 3 year olds do understand most things and being expected to celebrate someone else on their special day can be very confusing and even damaging to a child self esteem or sense of place in the family (this is the age of rivaly where the take bein over look very personally and hard)

I wouldn’t give it any more thought. You can’t possibly check everyone’s calendar first, the notion is preposterous. She’s 3. She could definitely have a party a different day. This is quite common even when you are not 3. My advice would be that they get a sodding grip.

I've seen situations like this when photographing weddings. At Sharon's wedding her flower girl was 4 years old and they presented her with a cake during the meal. So between main & dessert the MC called for silence and we all sang happy birthday to Evie while her cake was brought out. She loved it! By the way, we are now around 6 years on from Sharon's wedding and even I remember when Evie's birthday is! Nobody forgets Evie's birthday!

Carrie's wedding coincided with her FIL's 50th birthday. They had the top tier of their cake as his cake, with 50th sparklers on it! For the cake cut he went first and we sang happy birthday. Then bride & groom cut the cake lower down.

I think you should carry on with your date. Them asking you to change (possibly at significant cost) is a big deal and rather mean. Also, the "damage" is done so if you move the wedding they will still be angry with you - they are obviously like that!

Oh please, the child couldn't care less. Make a fuss of her on your wedding day (I'm assuming she's a flower girl? if not, make her one) and it'll be an extra special birthday for her. To suggest it will emotionally damage her to have to "share" her day is ridiculous. What if she goes to school with someone who has the same birthday? Is friends with someone who does? Its called learning to share and understand you're not the centre of the universe.

Tell them that you're sorry they're upset but that the date is booked and you look forward to sharing your wedding day with her birthday and for everyone to have an extra special time.

You can't check every date in the families and being 3.....she won't know and for her parents/adults who will know. they're being ridiculous! What was the 3 year old going to have?! A celebration that would have lasted the same amount of time as your wedding going into the night?! All I've learnt through wedding planning is that, for some reason, it can turn relatives into completely nonsensical beings. I don't know what happens but they start talking rubbish and coming out with all sorts of absurd things that i just ignore. I hope i'm never like this when my children get married. Anyway. A birthday could be a lovely thing to celebrate the day before and could be a great escape / way to relax (not that a kid's birthday sounds that relaxing but you could focus on something else before the big day). I hope his Mum and sister get a grip and realise that if this date works for your parents (who are pretty key and some could say, more key to your big day than your niece) then that is the end of it. Good luck!

Honestly.. have you ever heard anything more ridiculous. Reading the post I thought you were going to say your neice was turning 18 or 21 or something but THREE!!

How does your partner feel about it? Are you having children at the wedding? If you're having an adults only wedding and asking them to leave the child at home on their birthday then maaaaaaaybe they're justified, however if thats not the case then don't think twice about it.

At the end of the day, provided your partner is on your side, they're either going to come to the wedding or they're not..

I absolutely agree! The child is too small to understand the thing. And really, if you have children on the wedding, maybe that birthday will be better for her as she will have fun and a lot of other children to play with. And it is possible to make a separate celebration the day before or after your wedding. But ti don't see any problem at all. But I do understand that it is always unpleasant to have such situations, especially with close people.