So, the big day was always going to be child free, we don't have any, and our friends that do are more than happy to leave them at home, ours will hopefully be the last wedding of the friendship group (barring any more divorces) so people want to kick back and really enjoy themselves.
We have two nieces though (8 & 10). So, we came up with a plan, as we are legally getting married in a registry office the week before, they could come to that, look after the rings, we've bought them party frocks, not bridesmaid dresses, we can then take them out for a lunch somewhere where they will actually eat the food, rather than complain and poke it saying "what's this" and don't have to sit through a 3 hour affair, with speeches. The venue is TINY, and there is no where for them to play. AND they can't even get through a simple family meal at the local pub without being glued to an electronic device and refuse to put it down when the meal arrives..
We went to see their parents (OH's brother & sister-in-law) to say we were getting married and what the deal was, SIL's immediate reaction was "well, that's fine, it's your day have it how you want". Hmm.. Now the fun an s games.
Since then, she has said at every meeting, things like, but the girls really want to meet your mum n dad, then, it seems like a shame to just wear their dress one day (like that doesn't happen at a regular wedding), then this weekend a family lunch, "can't they just come to the ceremony and then disappear?"
my immediate response was a firm "no, they are coming to a ceremony" to which she replied "but it's not a fairy tale one". I think her issues has come from the fact, when the girls and I were looking at dresses together, she kept telling them it needed to be pale to match my dress (they've chose bright red and navy blue - one colour each), when I told her I won't be rocking the big white dress at the registry office she was very surprised. The registry office, is just for us, 2 witnesses and the 2 nieces. I think then she realised it was mainly a ticking the box event.
My issue is, if I now say yes to the ceremony, then the next it'll be can they stay for the photo's, then it'll be there's plenty of room, can't they just stay for the meal and leave when the party starts - then where do you draw the line. I know for a fact the husband of one of my friends isn't coming because we have said no kids.
This is a bit of a pointless post - but am I just being an idiot, or am I being fair? We laid out our stall very early on, and they agreed. We're doing a load of cool things with the girls instead that we know they will actually enjoy, and the venue is on the bank of the river Thames, if they run a round outside there's going to have to be someone on guard duty all day.
