no children and invites

We're in the same situation, though we're going to explicitly say on our invites. Not only that, but we're mentioning it on our Save the Date cards too.

We have a lot of family members coming from afar and so will need to book hotel rooms pretty soonish, and they need to know not to book their children into the hotel too - it saves awkward situations at a later point! Apparently the child of one of our guests was getting excited about staying in a hotel, though FMIL hadn't had the heart to tell them...

Alas experience on here and other forums has shown time and again that peopel do not pick up the social cues and will not be sure if their children are invited, or worse presume they are.

The way to avoid this without being overt in your invitaions is to be overt in your RSVPs. So one RSVP card per person whom you are inviting, with their name on, for them to tick with menu choices or whatever.

Yep - as Bonnie says, all you need a small line like that. "Unfortunately we are unable to accommodate children at the wedding venue" etc.

My friends with children I've personally told they aren't invited, although most have pre empted that and told me they aren't bringing them. Only one is refusing to come if she can't bring her child.

I would most definitely put a short line on the guest information making it clear. It will (hopefully!) save you any awkward conversations.

There have been some great examples of short, sweet statements brides have included on their invites on previous threads on the same topic.

Her loss ATB! Anyhow, more space for Otters ?

Yeah she's been a total twunt about it. I really don't care though and have told her I'm sad she won't be there. My policy is no children, Otters welcome ?

Hello All,

This is my first venture into the forum world, so be gentle please!

We're getting married next year, and while we're really close to my niece and my fiance's niece and nephews, and wouldn't have our wedding day without them, there are other, less well behaved children in the more extended family who we really don't want there. We're also on a tight budget, and to put it bluntly, saying "no kids" is a quick way of cutting a spiralling guest list.

We thought we'd got it sussed by making the ones we want there flower girls and page boys, and making the rule that no kids can come unless they're in the wedding. However, now I'm starting to think about wording for the invitations etc., I've realised there isn't a nice, succinct way of saying "no kids unless they're in the wedding"!

Does anyone have any similar experience or tips about where i can find suggestions for wording?

Thanks in advance!

Hannah

We put something along the following lines in the info sheet:

"Unfortunately due to space issues we are only able to accomodate children of close family so get your babysitters booked in early!".

As others have said, some people will assume they can bring their children along to it's best to make this clear.

Yes.

I sent out save the dates addressing them only to the adults of the house and not to the children. But when I send out the actual invites I will probably say due to lack of space children are unable to come. Which is true. We are only having 30 day guests.

We allowed everyone to bring kids except colleagues (we've never met their kids and were tight on numbers, they either left the kids or couldn't come) so we explained to them personally, and addressed only to them.

It's one of those awkward things (or not depending on your viewpoint!) but I think you have to be explicit about it. Saves hassle in the long run.

We said something like:

'We've decided our wedding day will be adults-only. We hope that you see this as a chance to let your hair down and enjoy the party with us'.

Sometimes blaming venue restrictions can lead to issues if they find out later that kids are allowed/there is loads of space etc! It's your wedding and you absolutely don't have to apologise for wanting it to just be your friends, not a creche for loads of children you don't know!

(IMO - I know lots of Hitchers had kids at their weddings and loved it but it wasn't for me!)

Yes, you need to be exact on it. And then stick to your guns. People may have hissy fits, try to emotionally blackmail you etc. Be strong - and be ready for them! Or perhaps you have more normal guests than I!

Thanks ladies - ok so Im seeing that the general concensus is be direct! lol

To be honest Ive thought about it and think there would probably only be potentially one person who caused an issue but to be honest I think that if ppl arent happy to fit in with your plans and refuse to come then they probably shouldnt be coming anyway!

Luckily most friends who have got children - didnt have children when they got married and didnt have kids at their weddings so cant really say anything! Well you'd think not but Im learning that you'd be surprised at people! hahaha xx

Oh yes - my friend in question has admitted that her ceremony was tainted by misbehaving children and she couldn't hear her vows properly because of screaming. But it's ok for that to happen to me with her child. As for being surprised by people - a wedding brings it all out you'll find!

We didn't have any children at our wedding and put something on the invitation about wanting the parents to have a day off so they could let their hair down. With plenty of notice this was mostly ok. There was one or two that were not too pleased but at the end of the day its YOUR wedding.

You have to make it obvious or you will have a load of kids at your wedding - people are thick! And also given what I have seen on here, even when you do make it obvious, people are intentionally thick!

We only have a handful of friends with kids so we called each couple and apologised, we didn't make up a story about space or the building being listed or somesuch, we just said 'look, we're really sorry, we've decided not to invite kids, hope you understand'. we were as nice as we could be about it, and they are our friends so I guess they understood.

There were 4 couples with kids, and 3 of them left the wives at home to look after them as they were all still breastfeeding, - yes three couple on our group had babies less than 8 weeks apart, not long after christmas! - but they all live in Scotland and the wedding was in the Midlands. the other couple had teenage kids and they left them to look after themselves!

We also put "Although we have decided to make this an adults only occasion, we hope that those of you with children will be able to make alternative arrangements and still join our celebration"

xxx

I've just been to a family wedding with my 2 year old, it was a nightmare. Wish I could of left him with my parents for the weekend..

So just to let you know that there are parents out there who would gladly have the time off to party!! Lol

I posted about this not long ago. I'd included a line about not inviting kids and had a guest email me to let me know I'd missed her child off the invitation but she wasn't offended and would bring him anyway! I'd say be explicit in the fact about no kids and call anyone before hand if you think they might be a problem. The guest in question has decided she can't be parted from her little darling for 12 hours so isn't coming - her loss!

Our UK do was an evening event with hog roast buffet, champagne on tap, bar, and a ceilidh. I wrote on the invitations: "Due to the timing and nature of the event, only the godchildren of the bride and groom can be accommodated". Most people were happy, even my best mate with newish twins. Only hiss fit was my cousin who sent me a bitchy rsvp stating they wouldn't be coming. No problem, we don't get on anyway!

Just say it! A friend of mine just left the kids names off the invite and the parents turned up with them. If you really don't want them there, be clear from the start.

Just say it! A friend of mine just left the kids names off the invite and the parents turned up with them. If you really don't want them there, be clear from the start.

Hi Hannah

I guess my OH and I were perhaps a little abrupt, but we just put a small line saying 'adults only please' on our save the date cards. We also decided to invite immediate family's children and I don't really see why others should be offended. It's our wedding, we're paying and we don't have any kids. Not one person has complained or declined on the basis of not being able to bring their children and I have only had to bend the rule for one friend who is due 4 weeks before the wedding and will be breast feeding - I didn't want her not to come and the baby won't cost anything to accommodate. My OH and I worked out with all our friends' and extended family's children invited there would be over 40 under 10's attending - that is not a wedding, that is a children's party!

I think just be honest and clear from the start! Good luck!

Horace x

Thank you so much for all the advice! You've confirmed exactly what we thought, it's just good to hear it from others! At the end of the day I'm afraid if people don't like what we decide, it's their problem.. It's our wedding day!

Thanks all! :-) xx

Thank you so much for all the advice! You've confirmed exactly what we thought, it's just good to hear it from others! At the end of the day I'm afraid if people don't like what we decide, it's their problem.. It's our wedding day!

Thanks all! :-) xx