No children at the service, eeek!

Hire a nanny/babysitter for the service? I have to say though, that for me if I was travelling all that way I'd want to bring my kids (3 and a half, and 2) in with me - with the understanding that I'd nip out if they got noisy... could you have another family member have a word with the people involved and mention that they might like to sit near the back in case the kids get fed up?

? hope you find a solution ... i bet on the day you wouldn't notice though!

As an old married I can tell you that you probably wouldn't notice a child making a little bit of noise in the ceremony, but that wasn't what you were asking. I'm just trying to think of a way you could word it, and getting a bit stuck. I think before you jump into the whole thing you need to explore the childcare thing further, have you spoken to the hotel about anyone local that they have used previously as babysitters? Is it all at the same venue?

No hotel, ceremony and reception are all different but close together (walking distance). I asked the hotel but they really couldn't help, I feel a bit bad but based on previous experience with this family would just really rather not have the children there. I think I need to check registered child carers in the area, maybe there is a temping agency who could send someone. Thanks for your help

All I would say is be prepared to get a decline on your invitation from all of them. Whilst it is your prerogative to invite who you wish to your wedding "your day, your way" and all that, it is their's to turn your invitation down. And the no kids thing often does that.

Hope it goes well!

If you're really determined not to have the child there, then all you can really do is research childcare, and approach the family member personally to say " we thought it might be easier to have no children at the service so the adults could relax and enjoy it more - therefore the venue suggested these people [whitelie] who could watch child x for the half hour of the ceremony... I'm sure they'd have much more fun drawing pictures than sitting quietly anyway."

I have to say though, I probably wouldn't leave my kids with a stranger - they wouldn't like being left with someone they didn't know, and so I wouldn't relax. As littlebubs said be prepared for them to decline ?

Hi Rexy

We don't have any children in our family, and only one of our friends has a child (3 years old). So we took the decision not to invite that child, and make it an 'adult-only occasion'

To be honest, I thought the parents might be pleased in a way, as they are part of a big group of our friends who will be there, and it might be nice for them to be able to have a few drinks and let their hair down without having to look after their child all day, and possibly end up leaving early to put her to bed. So I thought they might appreciate it.

My situation is slightly different as they're not family, but I'm sure your's will have friends who they'll be happy to leave the kids with.

Another option is... do you have any friends with sisters who you know but not well enough to invite to the wedding? If so you could ask them if they'd be happy to babysit for the ceremony and offer them some dosh - and I'm sure the hotel will have an area that they'll let you use for that. One of my friend's sisters got married and I wasn't invited to the wedding but she asked if I'd look after all the kids for her. I was busy but would have been more than happy to help out!

Hope you figure something out!

Prior to my wedding one of my pet hates was a child screaming through a ceremony (more specifically the vows) so I had a chat with my cousin who has an 18 month old if she started screaming would she mind taking the child out at my wedding

On the day itself I was so wrapped up in our day that I didn't notice the child gurgling through the vows!! TBH I wasn't even aware the child was there! So it just goes to show - IT DOESNT MATTER!

I was worried the family would have to leave early to put her to bed - no way - the little 'un slept in her buggy throughout the disco in the evening and didn't even stir. What hacked me off more was MIL breaking H's heart by leaving early using the two 9 year old FG's as an excuse. They didn't even want to go - he whole immediate family left an hour before the end!!!!

So don't get hung up on the kid thing. By all means draw the line somewhere - we said family children only - so when H's friends wanted to bring their 3 year old son we had to say No due to space. They still came - they just arranged a babysitter!

Hi, thought I chuck in my experiences too. I too was dead agaist children at my wedding. I don't know why, but I decided I just wanted it to be adults, rather than the little dears runnign all over. My bridesmaids alone have 6 between them. I let it be known early on that this was the plan, and the bridesmaids, my best mates from uni thought it was great idea to be just the girls again, rather than mums!

On our invites I worded it "we have ony invited the chidren of our immediate family, due to number restrictions at the venue". I did have to invite my step daughter (obviously!!) and husbands 2 nephews at 5 and 6 years, but I also added an extra slip to theirs sayign that the venue would liek al children to leave by 9pm. I just didn't eant them running all over the place creating choas, which they're well known for. Everyone had 18 months to ake plans for thsi arrangement.

To be honest a few distant cousisns couldn't make it, as my family travelled from Newcastle to Norwich, and they didn't want to leave the kids. But everyone who wanted to come understood. The 3 kids that werre there were well behaved during the service, and ran about outside all day, so to eb honset I didnt have to see them!!

It's a subject that a lot of peope feel strongly about, but I'm not one of those peolple who enjoys having hundreds of kids running round. Some people take offence that their bood aren't invited, but others welcome the chance to escape for a day. So I say make your choice, and stand by your decision.

I'm sure the person concerned would leave the church if the child started to create, but it's up to you if you want them there in the first place.

Good luck!

Michele

x

Hi,

we had a child-free wedding but had no relatives/close friends with children, bar one couple whose 4 month old was too young to be left. The mother in question was a good friend and I spoke to her in advance and politely said would she mind taking baby outside if she was crying etc, and mentioned her own child-free wedding saying "I know you'll appreciate the reasons".

I don't think it's fair to ask close relatives who are travelinga long way to leave their child at the hotel, but I think asking them to take the child out is a compromise.

We're having a child free wedding. Well almost, I have a 3yr old nephew who will be pageboy and a 5 yr old flower girl. We've not sent our invitations yet but have started to explain to friends about it. Everyone has been fine so far. My cousin had no intention of bringing her children anyway, another couple have already lined up a babysitter as they thought this might be the case. However this applies to the whole day. If I've read your post correctly, you don't want them at the ceremony but are happy for them to be at the reception? The logistics of that could be a nightmare and it might be better to just do all or nothing.

I agree that it should be all or nothing - it sounds far more feasible if you explain that you don't want children there full stop, rather than just for the service. We didn't have children at our wedding, other than a couple of really tiny ones, and I prefer not to take ours to weddings with us now. It's not much fun for them, and we certainly don't relax in the same way as we can if we're not having to be responsible!!

Sorry can't help as there will be 17 children at my ceremony ranging from 16 months to 8 years old.......I have 2 of my own, all my close friends and family have them etc, I am a childminder, so am embracing it lol!! Might take the heat off of us tbh, hate the thought of everyone looking at us anyway!!! About 10 will be gone by the evening, we are having no sit down meal anyway (that would be a nightmare!) then another 9 or so older children have been invited to the evening do, so there will still be about 16 children in the evening, but then the youngest ones will be 3 and above

Anyway, sorry no help. but I have never minded not taking my own children to weddings etc, but I am lucky I have family and friends I trust to help out/babysit

Clare x

We're not having children at our wedding, but this is because we don't have any children in our family! The youngest in our family is 17! ?

I'd agree with the all or nothing idea, though. I think you are perfectly entitled to say no children and so long as you give plenty of warning, they should be able to arrange childcare no problem!

I think most parents would love the idea of a night off to relax! I can't imagine they'd have much fun at a wedding if they had to go to the hotel at 8/9 to put the kids to bed! Bit of a waste if you ask me!