no longer relevant ?

I think you just need to let it happen when he's ready. I got too excited about getting engaged and was nagging my now husband at around the three year mark. Once I stopped hinting to him - that was when he proposed

I understand it must be hard when you see your friends moving on with their relationships but just be happy in yours. Life isn't a race or competition. Your boyfriend may just be planning for the perfect moment - his version may be different to yours (referring to the New York trip).

It will happen, and when it does, it will be worth the wait

Only 3 years...I had to wait 6 lol.

Don't push him. Just let it happen. I'm sure you won't have long to wait

2 years in whilst on holiday, my OH suggested we marry abroad after seeing a wedding on the beach. It then took a further 4 years to get him to agree to a destination and to start properly planning with a date in mind (Oct 2016 our 10 year anniversary). I was then made redundant last year and it wasn't until I said " I really don't mind postponing for a few more years, there's no rush" that he started showing any interest and now we are eloping this year instead!

We were together 9 1/2 years when we got married last September and had been living together for 2 years. We had always talked about getting married and having children, but he is the sort of bloke that is very adverse to change. There did come a point in our relationship when I had to push the marriage issue but that's what he needed. He absolutely loved the wedding and being married.

You are only young and have plenty of time to live together and get to know each other more. He has to come to the decision himself that he wants to marry you. Yes, he might need a little push to know it's what you want but you have to accept if he's not ready then he's not ready. Some men never are (not that I am saying he is one of those) and you then have to decide whether you are prepared to stay with no ring or move on.

I once felt like that as I dated a guy for 7 years, we didn't live together, nothing apart from boyfriend/girlfriend. I was in my 20s then and I gave him an ultimatum, commit to me or its over. Looking back I am so glad I done that as he was wasting my time, I went and lived my life, single for ages and I worked out what I wanted in my life. I am now married, we got engaged after 6 months and I have never been happier. You have to work out if you both want the same things....if not get out of the relationship! X

I can understand your frustration if you have no idea where your relationship is heading & I think it is only fair in those circumstances to ask - you may be on the same page with marriage, you may not.

If I were him (because I'm stubborn) and under such pressure I would be digging my heels in as I would want to be proposing on my own terms in my own time rather than being "bullied" into it.

My OH wasn't bothered about getting married but was bothered about having kids.I can take or leave the idea of kids but I made it clear that I wouldn't consider having children without being married - rather old-fashioned I know.

He'll propose in his own time and there maybe things he wants to achieve such as buying a house.

I was still married but separated when I met my OH. The day I met him I knew he was the one. My previous marriage was a big mistake. I didn't have the money for a divorce but really wanted to get engaged because I knew I wanted to be with my OH for the rest of my life. I pestered him for so long and I just thought he wasn't as serious about the relationship as I was. He always said 'but you're still married'. After months of arguing I started divorce proceedings and in July last year it came through. So me being me, I assumed he would propose shortly after. Um no. He then told me the only reason he wouldn't get engaged whilst I was still married was because he wanted to know he could marry me the next day if it was possible. So I dropped hints and asked him his ring size in a casual conversation and wrote both mine and his down and filed it away. I told him that if he was going to propose then he needed to ask my dad's permission. He just kept putting it off until one day he actually emailed my dad and he said yes. He didn't propose. I carried on dropping hints then I gave up. I had a plan. We were due to go on holiday to my favourite place a month or so later. I was sick and tired of waiting for him so I bought a ring for him and got it engraved. I aimed to propose to him on holiday. We got there and was messing around and he won a plastic ring from a 2p machine and jokingly I said you could propose with that. He laughed it off. We finally got to our accommodation and he got down on one knee and proposed with this plastic ring. I laughed it off and said yeah sure. Not taking him seriously. He got up and left the room so I got his ring. I turned round and said 'this is how you do it'. I sat on the sofa and he got down in front of me and gave me a speech and proposed with a beautiful (real) ring so I got out his and said only if you marry me. I cried and the rest is history.

My point is that my OH waited for the perfect time and when we were somewhere special to me and when the circumstances were perfect.

If you love him then there is no rush. Ask him how he feels about the future and just enjoy being together.

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As hard as it is, you need to stop nagging him. I got impatient after about 3 years and started dropping hints. I waited 6 years in the end for my proposal. It is frustrating but the more you pressure him the more he will feel like he is being forced to, which is not a good basis for a marriage. At least you know he has a ring! Thats way more than i had, and in the end i stopped worrying about it and it was a complete surprise. Be patient and it will happen.

We got engaged after nearly three years together, although we had talked about getting married for a while (maybe two years?).

One year into our relationship I gave up my job and moved from Germany to the UK to be with him, so it was important to me to know we are both in this relationship with the same goals etc.

I always said I wanted to get married before we buy a house, but then we got the perfect opportunity to buy a house in October and within 7 weeks of viewing the house, we had moved in, so we ended up buying a house without being married. (Which he didn't mind at all.) So we decided to get married this summer, although that was mainly my wish, as my OH isn't so bothered, he would have been happy to wait another year (to make it less stressful financially).

He proposed in January, although that was a result of him blurting out he'd bought me a ring already, after I suggested looking at engagement rings together. Originally he wasn't going to propose till the end of March (like, last week or the week before) for a wedding in June, July or August, but I think he wildly underestimated the amount of work involved in planning a wedding, and just the other day he said it was such a good thing he didn't wait to propose, because imagine we hadn't even started planning the wedding. But I do know, my talking about getting married didn't help, as he was going for a romantic surprise proposal which is difficult to achieve when I talk about it a lot.

I can certainly empathize with you about wanting to get married, but while three years is certainly long enough in my opinion to know whether this is the person you want to spend your life with, not everyone is at that point yet. For me, part of it is also that both my OH and I will be 32 this year (my OH already is and I will be in June), and we want children, we can't wait around forever. I am not that traditional, but simply from a practical (legal) viewpoint it was important to me that we are married before we have children, especially as I am living in the UK as a foreigner.

OP, I mean this in the nicest way but I think you need to chill out! I got engaged after nearly 7 years (we have lived together for 5 years). If you get stressed and nag him about it, he will either 1. Not propose as you will be expecting it, or 2. Propose but you will never be sure if he did it because he wanted to or because you gave him no choice!

There is always the option of proposing to him!

The OP has already said she doesn't wanna do that, though.

You don't need to propose to him, but I do think it's worth sitting down and talking to him about why you want to get engaged/married, what it means to you, how you feel about him etc. And get everything out in the open. NO ONE has to propose, you can decide as a couple that getting married is what you want to do and then just go and do it. Hint dropping doesn't appear to work very well with men.

If it's a finance issue then just get engaged without a ring, you don't need one anyway, and buy it when you have the cash. Or get a cheaper one. Or get a really cheap one and wear it until the expensive one can be saved up for. Set a date in 2 or 3 years time to get married, this is great as it's low pressure but still gives you a timeframe and something to set budgeting to etc.

if it's not a finance issue and he doesn't want to get engaged or married (not saying he doesn't, just that it's always a possibility) then you need to have a talk about WHY and what his long term plans actually are, and again why it's important to you.

What do you think about having kids before marriage? Maybe try a different tack and say you'd like to start thinking about having kids as he'll be thirty soon... And see if it comes up?

I've been with my fiance 5 years, living together for 4. He never really considered marriage until I started talking about eloping. I don't know if it was because he realised it doesn't have to cost a fortune, or that we have more in common than he thought, but something clicked and hey Presto...we were engaged! The ring came after...I found a second hand vintage one I liked and showed it to him, and he bought it for me

Hi! So I can understand completely how you're feeling, me and my partner were going up to the four year mark and still no sign at all he was going to propose, I was just like you, stressing out and venting to all of my female friends about it! And everyone kept asking when we were going to get engaged and married and it was driving me made! I really really pushed for it and he did propose on our four year anniversary.

I think maybe guys just don't really think about it as much as we do? Or maybe he is planning it but really wants to put you off the scent (my fella did that!!!). To be honest unless you plan to get married pretty soon after you get engaged nothing really changes much apart from that they're technically your fiance now.

I wouldn't worry about it too much though, if your relationship is solid I would guess at that he's just being a typical guy and is being laid back about it all? But that's just a personal experience perspective really.

Hope this helped a bit?

x