No official photos

I'de get a photographer, you wanna capture your special day and a good photographer will try not take too much of your day.

My sister wanted us to forgo a photographer and use our BIL. However, tbh, I wanted my BIL to enjoy the day, and whilst I was happy for him to take photos, I didn't want him to feel responsible for all the classic, lovely wedding photos.

If you do not want a photographer then fine. However, I went with a photographer because I didn't want the regret of not having one or not having great photos.

Yeah, I have to say I wouldn't do it. Our tog was just part of the package so was super cheap and not at all arty or creative, but you can still see the obvious differences between his and guest photos, even when the guest in question was stood right behind him taking the same shot.

I'm probably bias on my feelings towards wedding photography due to my line of work, but for us a photographer was one of our top priorities. I hate having my photo taken, have horrible memories of "professional" photographers from family weddings and other occasions but I would never ever be without one.

I can't imagine just having photos from family and friends to look back on (but my friends and family are all horrendous photographers- hope they don't read that!)

Again, due to my job I probably romanticise it a bit, but I want the experience of the whole thing as well as the actual photos. The anticipation of waiting for our wedding photos to be delivered back and the excitement of seeing them for the first time. Sitting and looking through them together, laughing and crying and cringing probably! Sharing them with family, showing them to nieces and nephews in years to come. I want to see the day unfold as a story as seen from the outside, rather than through a series of random snapshots pieced together afterwards.

I've never heard of anyone regretting having a photographer (perhaps who they chose, or how much they paid) but I see people commenting how much they regret not having someone there to document the day, or having chosen someone who wasn't very good.

Obviously photography isn't a huge priority to everyone and that's absolutely fine, but if you're undecided at the moment, definitely make sure you are 100% set on your decision either way before you spend your budget on other things.

When we got married we had to do without one due to the cost. We were students at the time.

We had a couple of older family friends who were keen amateur photographers. (I was the only photographer among my/our friends)

Our friends did a great job technically - but I didn't like any of the photos of me. It's our 25th anniversary this August and all these years I have never had a single wedding photo framed in the house. They are kept in the album.

The other down side was that the "photographers" did not automatically know what to do, so they kept asking us what we wanted. I'm a professional wedding photographer now and my job is to balance what the couple want with what they need and have allowed time for.

At my wedding we had far too many group shots, which doesn't happen at my client's weddings as I give them more direction about how many they need.

Due to the drop in cost of photographic equipment there are many, many, people posing as wedding photographers now. 20 years ago, you had to be a reasonable standard as an amateur because film cost so much. These days, the digital "film" doesn't cost anything so people will have a crack at a wedding even if they normally can't take any good photos.

A good professional photographer will get to the meal on time. If your OH is concerned then book a photographer who is prepared to have it added as a clause into the contract!

Personally I couldn't do it. Photos for me are up there just behind the ceremony, and in front of catering in my list of priorities, even though I hate having my photo taken. I'm spending 1/4 of our bidget on the tog as I know he will get some fab shots. It's not really fair to expect a guest to be taking photos instead of enjoying the day.

What was so bad about the OH's first wedding to not want a tog at this one? The food being a couple of hours late being the problem doesn't make sense to me, but unless your best friend is brilliant photographer I'm sure he'd regret not having one afterwards. And that's no offence meant towards your friend

Thanks all.

Starting the reception that late would be a huge issue for me. Hungry Fizzy = Angry Fizzy. I think he found the whole thing really stressful.

I'm going to raise it with him again tonight as I agree with all you are saying but given this is the only thing he's been adamant about if he doesn't change his mind I have to respect that and get everyone to take to Instagram!

Was the wedding breakfast at his first wedding late BECAUSE of the photography? Because if so you can simply hire one that does little to no formal shots and instead they document the natural flow of the day, so it won't affect the timescale at all. Over an hour of photos and a couple not enjoying their food and drink is my idea of hell as well lol

I don't know any venue that would let me be 30 minutes longer than I should let alone 2 hours. A good photographer is also your time keeper and co ordinater for the period that they are with you.

I would also add that before my weddings I will have a pre wedding consultation in which all the details and timings are discussed and one of my first questions is what time are you due to eat and everything else I do fits around that, its also my responsibility to tell you if from experience if I think your timings are a little too optimistic to fit in all your plans, so that any timing tweaks are planned before the day and are not done ad-lib

I'd want something informal and candid rather than formal.

He's willing to discuss the idea. This is progress!

I think the old days of wedding photography where the only shots were posed shots which took hours gave wedding photography a bad rep. These days you have much more choice and in fact if you do not want any posed shots you can. We went for a documentary style photographer with a few posed shots (we allowed an hour and a half for all posed shots) and the rest were taken without interrupting the flow of the wedding. You would have to pick a very bad TOG who would overrun the posed photography by two hours. Show him some options if he is prepared to discuss.

Also think about how much the TOG means to you - how do you really feel about having no professional shots at all from your wedding? All of our guests took shots and despite asking around and setting up wedpics etc very few have been shared properly. Without my professional photos I would have a few grainy guest phone ones. How would you feel about leaving it to chance like that? There are two of you in this marriage so your view is also important.

Spot on...........

Couples have regretted not having a photographer or regretted not having had a better photographer, although I have not heard yet of a couple wishing they hadn't bothered.

The wedding pix will gather value as years pass and loved ones who were there on your special day, sadly are no longer with us.

Its all about choosing the right photographer.

Peter

^^^^^^ Take this advice ^^^^^^^ Good luck

H2B has had a think and has agreed that we should have a professional photographer. We have a consultation booked tomorrow to test the water.

You see now that worries me because within 8 hours you have gone from him not wanting any to seeing someone tomorrow you need to read this post

https://www.hitched.co.uk/chat/forums/t/485351.aspx

Its just that he seemed to of made a mistake before and a meeting is usually something that will come along way down the line after seeing some of their whole weddings etc online at least.

Dont jump in straight away and book...take a little bit of time to be retrospective and also talk to some other local togs.....What might seem to be the right one, may well get trumped by the next......

Glad your OH saw logic in the end.....I truly believe that in the long term, the original decision might have been something you both regretted....

Peter

Everyone is different as to their priorities when planning/budgeting a wedding.

It is always nice to ask relations / friends to take pictures but if they are a guest, you should consider that they should enjoy the day as just that - a guest and having an external person who is not directly associated with your wedding will give you a nice range of shots covering the whole of the day in a consistent way,

By all means get them to take photos but my advice would be to enlist the services of a professional photographer.

It looks like i'm totally alone here but I haven't booked a professional photographer for my wedding. And I'm not in the least bit worried I'll regret it

I know this is a VERY bold statement but I have never seen a complete set of someones wedding photographs that were all nice and not corny. Don't get me wrong, there are always nice shots in there but I just feel it's a massive waste of money for realistically 2-3 really nice photos. The best shots are always those taken ad hoc by a guest.

Plus, as a wedding guest, watching all the professional photos being taken is unbearably boring. I went to a wedding last year where the photos took all afternoon and everyone was bored to tears. I know this was obviously the bride and groom's choice and it's their wedding but masses of formal photos just ain't my thang! A friend of mine is taking our shots but we are having NO posed shots at all because I simply don't like them

Haha I suspect your friends have hired photography styles that weren't for you. There are photographers that do solely the ad hoc/candid type of work.It's becoming increasingly popular as people are getting, like you say, bored with spending their wedding as a photoshoot. Personally I think couples should spend their wedding day enjoying their food, drink and party with their friends and family.

We had a pro tog who took some amazing pictures. My bro is a hobby tog and took pictures just because he wanted to. He took some absolutely fabulous shots, he also had a sense of which shots of people to get together etc because obviously he knows all the family & friends. However, I never would have had him as the only tog as his job was to be my big brother at my wedding, not to be responsible for getting 'the' shots. I wanted pics of the ceremony, the dinner etc etc and never would have wanted him 'working' throughout those.

After the wedding you only have memories and photos to look at, to bring those memories back. Guests may take some photos, some of them might even be ok or just good enough. Letting unexperience people be responsible for such a legacy is a huge risk. One day your grandkids will look at those photos, maybe even their kids and so on...

I obviously look at it all from photographer’s perspective but can't imagine my wedding with no professional photographer. I am married with no plans to re-marry ?, we had a good photographer. If I was getting married again (same women, as I can't imagine loving anyone else ?) I would for sure find a decent pro-wedding photographer.

It is also about choosing a right guy for the job. There are some photographers out there that can change somebody's wedding into a nasty photographic experience, mess up timings etc. I am sure you can find someone decent in your area or even from different city and county. Many photographers would travel to weddings without extra charge within a reasonable distance.

There are few different wedding photography styles you can go for. Would you prefer unobtrusive and relaxed search for documentary wedding photographer.

If you have a meeting with photographer ask them to show full wedding so you know what to expect. Then you are sure it is not about three or four nice pictures and rest just average. If their work shows consistency then you know what they are capable of producing for you.

Good luck and let us know how it goes.

We didn't have any professional photographers at our wedding. Instead, we asked the Best Man's daughter and son (14 and 15 respectively) to take some photos, as they both had good cameras, a perk of studying photography in school.

We couldn't have gotten it more right. They loved it, it stopped them being bored, and the photo's (possibly about 500 of them) were amazing, exactly what we wanted. Candid, not at all posey and every part of the day was captured (hence them being wedding guests). Also, of course, it gave them added value as part of their school portfolios.

Appreciate that it's not for everyone, but it worked for us.

I didn't have a photographer for my first wedding (we eloped) and I didn't want one for this one - but I have been persuaded by a good friend who is a photographer!

But.. its on my terms...

No shots of me getting ready, no make up etc... she can have 1 hour of our time after the ceremony, then that's it; no more!

I have put disposable cameras on the tables and scattered around in the evening - but that's it.

I feel quiet bold about this as well. I don't like my photo taken and wouldn't feel comfortable doing a mass shoot! I do want something to remember the day; but I don't want it to take up my day.

Its about what you feel comfortable with.

Most importantly, you need to be happy with what you get. If someone is willing to take a risk and let unexperience people photographing the big day, that's fine. They might produce something good but it is still a big risk. If the outcome is not as expected, then you won't get a second chance.

As said above, it works for some and you need to feel comfortable with it.

I would make sure your friend doesn't drink too much. Cameras and booze = upsetting times!

Phew! I think you'd regret it if you didn't.

Get more reporterage style photos rather than staged ones so he'll be happy and you'll still have fantastic, true to the day, snap-shots.