No vows?

It's OK- like I said, we probably wouldn't do our own vows anyway. I actually wouldn't mind too much either way, but he's stated quite categorically that it's not something he wants to do, and that's totally cool. I think it's mostly because none of his mates have done it, you know what boys are like for peer pressure! I wouldn't want to make him feel awkward. And I'm buggered if I'm coming up with vows if he can't be arsed! ?

I am starting to feel slightly miffed though that we didn't even have the option, like some people (looking at you, FTLOMB). He may have been more willing if he was told it was part of the ceremony and he had to say it.

That's our bad I suppose by having a Jeremy Kyle wedding in a chavvy registry office. Sadly didn't have much choice though- it was the cheapest option by a looong way!

(apart from eloping. grr grr grr.)

Wowser. And that was the 'standard' stuff (apart from readings, etc.)?

Nope. I've definitely not been to a civil ceremony where they had all the love and care, honour and cherish stuff as part of the 'script'. And none of that is mentioned in my bits from the registry office!

Awwww. ?

S'quite sweet.

Him indoors would never go for it though!

Footlong that sounds almost exactly what our ceremony was like and I know we definitely aren't in the same area!

I don't think I've ever been to a wedding where its been two sentences then it was over. They've all had a a few extra bits in.

OP I think I may find it slightly odd if it was just the two sentences job but each to their own

I haven't been to many weddings recently but did go to one in a Registry Office last year. They said only those lines required by law (the longer more traditional option though) but there weren't any extra vows, ring words or readings and I didn't think it odd.

That said, the only other time I've been to a registry office wedding was my own 18 years ago (I'm a MoB this time around!) and again that was very, very simple with only the minimum said and I don't recall be offered any other options (but then that was before civil ceremonies blossomed after they were allowed to hold them in places other than registry offices).

There must be a difference then between Registry Office ceremonies (specifically) compared to Civil Ceremonies which are held at other locations. This seems to be the consistent message.

Admittedly, the Reg Office is a bit of a conveyor belt- especially on a Saturday which is its busiest day. I think the maximum allocated time is 30 mins per couple; that's to get all of your guests in, sat, bride enters, get married, sign the register and get everyone out again before they shepherd in the next batch!

Suppose that's why it only cost £250. Well, if- like me- that's all you can afford....you make do with your lot! ?

Ours must have been a major exception then. Register Office on a Saturday in June. 45 minutes long. We had two readings, long vows, added our own, did a ring exchange, and the registrar talked a bit too about marriage.

Definitely a bit of a conveyor belt - although they did try hard not to make us all feel rushed the next bride was waiting for her turn!

Skeptical - on my phone so I can't quote, but I wasn't offended or suggesting one was right or wrong - just genuinely surprised because it's so different from what I've observed. I wondered if you had thought the rings bit was part of the legal necessities but obviously not - must just both have different experiences!

Skeptical - on my phone so I can't quote, but I wasn't offended or suggesting one was right or wrong - just genuinely surprised because it's so different from what I've observed. I wondered if you had thought the rings bit was part of the legal necessities but obviously not - must just both have different experiences!

My conveyor belt ceremony is costing £580. ?

FTLOMB your vows are lovely - however there's no way I want to say all of that in front of everyone I know. I don't have the emotional intelligence not to cringe/smirk/cry. ?

Mine were pretty similar to Footlongs. I thought that was standard stuff...legal decs, promises and exchanging of rings.

They still seemed over ever so quickly and, though I am not one for public speaking, I loved every minute. For a few minutes everyone else disappeared and it was just him and me promising things we'd always felt but had never said before.

I want to do it all again now!

When we were going to have our ceremony in the registry office, we had no choice about anything. The words would be the bare minimum, enough to legalise the binding of woman and man, to make us husband and wife. For this ceremony we were required to pay £49.50 on the day - there was to be no meeting beforehand.

This (I think) was because the ceremony needed to be over asap, as it was a public office, other business going on, including registering of deaths, etc etc.

Then we changed our mind because the ceremony room was not big enough for our guests, and we decided to have the Registrar over to the hotel instead, to conduct the ceremony there.

The price went up £200, and a meeting before hand, between us and the registrar, to discuss our chosen vows, promises, readings etc etc.

We weren't fussed either way, and in fact, chose only the readings / vows with the least amount of wordage, so we could get that bit done quicker and get on with the party.

But the registrar explained to us - you are paying £250 for me to come to you, you may as well make the most of it and have whatever words you wish, and personalise your ceremony if you want to.

I think if the OP just wanted to have the bog standard ceremony that would be offered if it were being undertaken in the Registry office, it would still tie up all the legal ends. It's just a matter of what she would prefer, really.

We had a registry office wedding. Had the shortest vows available, no readings, no extra vows.

In, "I do", kiss, sign. Jobs a goodun.

We chose the shortest vows we could; 'free to marry - I am' and 'I Freckles, take you Mr Freckles...' but they still added other bits in. I don't remember fully but it was along the lines of promising to laugh with you in joy and cry with you in grief along with a few other bits. I just remember whispering to H that we didn't agree to say all that stuff, we just wanted short and sweet!

I can honestly say I've never been to a wedding where they've not said vows. I thought the.. "I pinkbutterly take you to be my... Bla bla la. to honour and over, love and cherish till detah do us part" was. Standard part of all wedding ceremonies.

i would feel cheated if I didn't get to do all of that hence why I've turned my nose up at a civil ceremony and opted for a church.

Our registrar gives us the option of short, medium or long ( or traditional, modern or something or another). I'm paying £475 for them to travel to my venue and another £250 to the venue to have my ceremony there so I will be fitting in as many words as humanly possible without running into extra time! We're having 2 readings thrown in for good measure, I WILL get my money's worth. However, I'm incredibly slushy and if I started writing my own vows I am likely to make guests vomit and the groom run away before we got to the legal part.

Our registrar gives us the option of short, medium or long ( or traditional, modern or something or another). I'm paying £475 for them to travel to my venue and another £250 to the venue to have my ceremony there so I will be fitting in as many words as humanly possible without running into extra time! We're having 2 readings thrown in for good measure, I WILL get my money's worth. However, I'm incredibly slushy and if I started writing my own vows I am likely to make guests vomit and the groom run away before we got to the legal part.

"Turned your nose up", what an...interesting...phrase to use.

Because I don't like them... I find them very impersonal and cold! Last one I attended I didn't even feel like I'd attended a wedding, and left feeling blaaaa about the whole thing.

Also I took one look at the outline of a civil ceremony and it became too apparent Me and OH had to compromise a great deal on the ceremony we always discussed.

never had problem hearing in a church ceremony, a good PA system always fixes that.

It should be noted I've only attended church services till recently so this whole registrar civil thing is new to me.

Very interesting in deed... Even more interesting is why your always jumping on my case in every thread I happen to voice my opinion in. Your making it a habit now and quite frankly your scaring me!

Sorry I'm still getting used to using this site and I did edit my post to explain myself more.

the thing with church wedding is of course they will feel impersonal if your not really a church goer and the vicar only met with you to plan wedding. (Not you personally)

I've chosen the church I grew up in and I've always attended... The only reason I considered a civil ceremony was because I wanted a venue wedding.

anyway feel like I've hijacked this thread with my ranting.

Now back to the point of no vows! Obviously vows are a must for me!

That's not true. I suggest you check your posting history....

I will say that you have a very forceful way of saying things though, that naturally catch my eye as ripe for comment!