NYE AIBU?

It's unusual..... I wouldn't do it with friends on NYE.

That said, almost everybody in the LH club I'm in hosts a BBQ over the summer and it's de rigeur at those to chip in towards food costs. Drink's your own affair.

Hmm that is odd to give an exact amount of money, sounds abit like an extrance fee! I guess it maybe is just the way that they have phrased it, cos of course they could have done a "bring a plate and drinks" type of thing.

Maybe you should say as you already got booze you can take some snacks? Or just say you only have booze is that ok?

As an aside how is your friends' little girl that had encephalitis? Been thinking about her...

I'd be irritated too-but like you, I'd pay without comment. It is a bit cheap of her tbh. if I threw a party, I would pay for drinks/nibbles. If I couldn't afford to, I wouldn't host it. End of. If people choose to bring contributions of food/booze then that would be graciously received. It reminds me of invitations my parents got to "parties" in the 70's/80's which would have printed "please bring a bottle!"

They'd been to Tesco and bought the stuff and divvied it up between the 6 of us. I think (but am not sure) that they had text my OH beforehand to tell him this was what they were going to do. I probably wouldn't even have given it a second thought if they'd said to bring a platter or nibbles, I think it's because it's cash it's a bit different (and for all I know they could have bought a whole load of stuff we hate!).

Thanks for thinking of her. She is doing fine now and had the all clear last week, no lasting problems.

Thanks for all the replies, IANBU then! I'm going to make sure I get my tenners worth and am not going to eat between now and 7.30pm so that I can fill my boots when I get there ?

It does dound a little odd but I guess as its NYE and your meet up is not a annual thing they may be splashing out a little on nice food etc

Also if its only 6 of you it does make sense to all contribute rather than each bring stuff incase you all bring the same ! I dont see this as a party as such so wouldnt expect the host to ness cover all food etc.

It's a bit tightwaddy.

We're going to my brother in law's tonight and I bought 3 bottles of cava and a crate of lager for H & I to take round. Might take some snacks too.

I hate that kind of thing - it's not like anyone would turn up empty handed and clean them out anyway, is it? I'd go, then invite them round for a meal in the new year and write them a restaurant-type bill at the end ?

DDiva, I had thought similar and also thought that because it was just the 4 of them were originally, that it wouldn't be fair to invite us along for a free ride with them covering the costs. I suppose it is a bit different if there were 20 people coming. Still, we're just going to pay it without moaning then proceed to get shit faced ?

If they texted your H beforehand to say that this was the plan then I do think you're being unreasonable to be honest.

Having spent last night spending a small fortune on booze and food last night for our party this evening I can confirm the cost really does mount up. Even if you are expecting people to bring alcohol with them as you were intending to do.

We had them round before Christmas. I might offset the cost of that against tonight ?

I think it's rude and distasteful - I'd never charge my friends for food and drink. If I was prepared to host a party, then I'd cough up. If I couldn't afford it, then I wouldn't offer.

So what will you do if there's food left over at the end? Take home a doggy bag because you've affectively paid for it?

We're hosting a party tonight and all I've asked is the guests to bring their fav. booze as neither my OH or I drink, I will be providing food (too much of it probably as I alwaysgo ott) and I'll get some non-alcoholic drinks and Cava for midnight.

Persoanlly I think it's a bit weird to ask for money.

There won't be. I will be making sure I polish it all off, even if it makes me sick/gives me a heart attack ?

I don't think its unreasoable to do a kitty.

MrH and I were going to spend NYE together, as we are so broke we were going to use the last of our wedding vouchers in waitrose and treat ourselves. then I found out my BF would be alone, so invited her. Then MrH felt left out and invited a friend of his. There is no way we can afford to feed and water them all, and lets face it, its onlya casual arrangement, not a night we are actually hosting. We've divided up the food so BF is getting some, I'm getting some then the men can sort out the booze.

They probably would have bought things anyway but BF wouldn't have bought enough - and- for example she keeps going on about bringing her special homemade dish which no one will like, but then as far as shes concerned shes bought the main course, whcih kind of ruins a welth of opportunity to get nice food IYKWIM

Not unreasonable to ask for a kitty but only at the time the in itarion is made, not after you've said you'd go. Tbh though, I'm of the view thatif you can't afford to host a party then don't have one

As you say, I'd pay, but probably check in the future what they arrangements were before accepting another invitation from them!

We're having a few friends round and are providing savoury & sweet nibbles and they'll bring their own drink. We wouldn't invite people over if we couldn't afford a few bits. Having said that, at Christmas, we provided and cooked the dinner and our guests brought dessert and party food for the evening - we provided crisps & sweet treats but we still def spent more than they did!

I think its a bit off. If we were having a party then wed supply the food and booze. Id expect people to bring some booze -because we would never turn up anywhere empty handed, but wouldnt expect people to bring food. If someone offered to bring something then I might accept, but its the asking for cash which I think is a bit cheeky.

If it started out as a normal party and the kitty idea was only introduced now, my first suspicion would be that they might have suffered a change in their financial circs (eg redundancy) but are trying to go ahead with the party anyway. Obviously in that situation one would be concerned rather than annoyed. If they had wanted contributions from the start they would presumably have asked for a bottle and maybe a dish- a much less mercenary-seeming way of spreading the cost- so the fact they're suddenly asking for cash makes me suspect a sudden change of plan.

If it isn't something like that, it's quite odd, I agree. However, I think I'd try not to dwell on it- presumably they are good friends and being annoyed will only spoil your enjoyment of the party.

I would be amazed if a friend asked us to pay after inviting us to a party. If they had said right from the beginning that "a group of us are clubbing together to throw a party at ours" then I imagine it would be different.

I always offer to bring something(food/alcohol) to the party, and always bring a bottle of wine and chocs for the host anyway, but that is different. Is it the norm to bring your own alcohol without the hosts telling you to?

I dont think they would have got much for £60 in tescos anyway not for 6 of you

i would still take the alchohol you were going to take , i have just got out of Asda and spent £48.11 on food and drink for tonight and there is only 3 of us , what with the wine and the bread and the vodka we have got harldy anything , i already have loads of nibbles here to cook off later which are in the freezer

i would pay it tbh but i dont think they are right in asking you to pay it if you cant afford a party dont have one , i would take a bottle or two anyway but i would be irked if asked on the day and not when the invite was given

What's her special homemade dish that no-one will like? ?

Sounds reasonable to me and I wouldn't have batted an eyelid at the request. If they had mentioned it to your H in advance then he obviously agreed to it and I think it's more odd that he hadn't told you.