OH throwing a spanner in my wedding works!

Why don't you take a poll to see who would use lawn games then (if people would...I would!) show it to your OH!

With your entrance music could you let him choose all other ceremony music - if it is that important to you - and still have Canon in D to compromise.

The jeans and Ts thing is hard; obviously he has as much right to dictate the tone of the evening but I can't see a happy compromise...maybe get him to suggest to your parents/his parents and "see what they say"

We're having Canon in D as our entrance music, but technically it's the brides entrance music, so if you're doing it the "normal" way when the groom waits at the front for you, then I honestly can't see why it's his worry what music plays for your entrance. I certainly wouldn't "ban" her choice of music even if she wanted something I thought was a dreadful choice - although of course I have every right to raise an objection. As it happens, we happened across a version by Acker Bilk, which being from the west country myself, was a perfect choice we both agreed on. But in our searching we came across string quartets, metal versions, rock versions, I thnk there was even a ska one in there somewhere. If it's a registry office do you're having then that's easier than a church wedding, for example? I may be able to come up with some ideas/alternative versions if you want

I think everyone will agree that a jeans and t-shirt event is just inappropriate. My guess is that, like a lot of guys, he probably doesn't like the thought of dressing up in a stuffy suit and wandering around looking a bit like a penguin all day. Again, I'll keep myself all formal for the ceremony but I'll be undoing my jacket as soon as we get into the garden for drinks, do it up again for the photos, undo it again then that'll be done. Unfortunately tradition follows that other guys at the wedding shouldn't "deformalise" (ie undo/take off their jackets) until the groom does, a bit like (I think) ladies aren't supposed to take their hats off until the mother of the bride does. I can understand him not liking the idea of a 'formal reception' as such but I think some discussion might be needed to clarify what he is thinking, there are various kinds of 'formal' right from the guys all looking like penguins, right down to just dressing smart casual, but you still have the speeches etc.

Lawn games - I think a lot of that is down to the venue and your plans for the day. If you have a full day like we do then lawn games are completely out of the question, plus I don't think we have the space for it and mingling anyway. Also there's the budget aspect to consider. Unfortunately only you can answer those three points

Reaching a compromise is always difficult - particularly when it comes to wedding plans - when you have very different ideas, but given that married life will be full of it, I guess now's a good time to start Just remember - it's not "you" having to figure out a solution, but both of you.

As a venue twin *waves*....i would put to him...why would you be spending so much on *that* venue if he wanted a jeans and t-shirt feel, its totally not the right venue for that sort of feel IMHO.

As for the garden games, you have a while for him to come round and they are neither here nor there. We are having them so i'll let you know who plays with them ?

I love the idea of garden games!

Plus I agree that your entrance music should be chosen by you - I'm getting myself in a pickle because I don't know whether to go traditional or have a song, but don't want to ask OH as it's MY music and should reflect me (I think anyway).

Not sure what to suggest on the jeans and tshirt thing. Does he mean the afternoon reception or the evening? It depends what the style of your wedding is, as some do have an informal day and it suits fine. But if my guests wore informal clothes then i would look so overdressed!

Just looking at your ticker I see you have a while yet so would possibly leave the subjects and go back to it later on. My OH was objecting to a few things at the beginning but it transpired he thought it was too early to start worrying about these things and objected I think to hopefully shut me up, so I joined hitched and had somewhere to discuss ideas until closer to the time.

I think the entrance music should be your choice as it is your entrance.

The reception doesn't have to be formal but unless you stipulate jeans and T.shirts on the invitation I think most people would arrive dressed appropiately.

As for lawn games is it included in the venue price or do you have to pay extra for them? If it is included it won't hurt to have them and OH may be suprised at how many people may use and enjoy them.

Perhaps he's just feeling a bit overwhelmed by it all, and the formality of it. Perhaps you can compromise on the music. Is there really nothing else at all?

As for the jeans and t-shirt look, not really appropriate in a formal wedding venue setting but perhaps you can compromise and get him a lovely tailored suit instead of a morning suit/ tux? Slightly less formal and can look just as fabulous. Plus i agree with jojo about stipulating what people wear. People will turn up wearing what would be considered 'normal' for a wedding and thats suits and nice dresses etc.

Lawn games, I know I would play with them, and we're thinking of having them. But then I get bored just talking to other guests etc and would think it would be fun playing games whilst you talked to people. I can see why your OH is concerned that people won't play, I have the same worries! Its something you can't predict though.

Thanks for all the comments and suggestions from everyone and *wave* back at venue twin! We had another chat about it and it has cleared a few things up, plus we have plenty of time, as someone already suggested, just to have re-thinks whenever we want.

I was looking through venue pricing with him when we noticed a bit of small print, saying prices were likely to go up by next year for extras, drinks etc, including the giant jenga and other games... so that made me think whatever we could sort out now would be better than waiting. OH was v keen and the one to suggest them when we booked the venue, so I said we could buy them off ebay and re-sell, far cheaper than hiring them from the venue. Then he told me he thought they wouldn't be used. He said at first it seemed a good idea, but now he thinks it isn't. That lead on to him thinking if people were all dressed up, why would they want to play around on the lawn anyway. I can kind of see his logic! But also I know that weddings can be quite long for people and it is nice to have a little diversion while catching up with other guests and waiting around for all the photos. Plus space definitely isn't as issue at our venue, it is a dream for (hopefully) a warm summer evening reception and everyone mingling outside having a good time!

I think jeans and T shirt is really wrong for our venue and just not the style of wedding we were going for, and OH said all along he wanted a suit and top hat, the works. So to hear him say that was a big surprise. I have asked about it again, but he said casual dress for the evening is more of a 'wish' than something he actually wants to have. He doesn't want everyone to be all stuffy and uncomfortable, and I agreed with that point of view totally, but said people might like the chance to dress up and it is only for a few hours. To my thinking our guests are grown ups and can quite easily choose something they want to wear without making themselves suffer, and besides everyone can take off high heels and unbutton shirts and so on if they feel like it! The venue and reception will be smart but not overly formal, it isn't like we are going to make everyone attend in black tie and ballgowns.

I want to be careful not to push just what *I* want for the whole day, it is important OH gets whatever he wants too, but Canon in D is the only song I can really picture myself walking down the aisle to so I am glad others agree it is my choice - not a bridezilla after all! I kind of like a few others but none are right. I can see his face and see me entering when I hear it. I told him that and I think that has changed his mind somewhat. He says it isn't that he hates it or anything, just he has heard it a lot at weddings on TV and such, and really hoped for us to find something more original.

Aj I think your suggestions for finding it in another variation might be someway towards a compromise and I will look at other versions.... then let OH pick the recessional and choose a few signing the register songs each!

Cheers everyone!

If you'd like to message me an email address, I can send over some information on various versions of Canon in D that we've found, if that's any help. You seem to have private messaging turned off.

Yeah its not letting me click on your contact either. Maybe I have my settings wrong or something. Anyway I will put my work email here if that's ok aj, it is **************@*****.**.**, I won't put my full name personal email up just in case. I would be really grateful to see any ideas you found for the song, thanks so much!

Email sent in the vain hope it gets there... reply to the email if you get it

He he, the title of this thread is making me laugh.

IMO...Your entrance song, your choice. "Jeans and T-shirts" is a dreadful idea for a wedding reception. Giant lawn games will get used, especially if the bride is having a go.