An update for those of you who remember our weird situation with OH's mentally unstable and alcoholic mum. She was abusive to him in childhood, he didn't speak to her for many years, but over the past 3 years has tried to re-establish contact. One of the ways was by inviting her to our engagement party and wedding. She went nuts over several wedding related things, then eventually uninvited herself, then slagged me and OH off to his family saying WE uninvited her when OH said 'fine, don't come then if you're going to be like this'. OHs sisters came round, said to OH they would look after her, and to re-invite her, as it would be 'easier' for them not to listen to her moaning about it ?
Then OH went round on a day when she hadn't drank, she was apologetic, had no clue what she had said, and her invite was sort of re-instated. OH basically said he would give her some chances to see if she could sustain not drinking/not abusing him over the phone as she has a habit of doing, and then decide a bit nearer the time if he still wanted her there on the day or not. He saw her a couple of times and started trying to build the relationship up again.
He called her today to see if he was OK to visit again as he wanted to discuss a few things about the wedding day, essentially to prepare her for the fact that he would not like her to get wasted and to let her know if she was going then he would expect her to move around the grounds in order to be included in family photos and be polite to guests. She has a history of refusing to speak, move or in fact be a nice guest at other family events due to a combination of agoraphobia, drunkeness and her mental issues. So OH was worrying about all of this, despite his sisters' promises they would take care of her on the day. HIs sisters sort of persuaded him he should let her come, so he was trying to please everyone by this point.
On the phone she was clearly drunk again, told him she would do whatever she pleased at the wedding, ranted on and on at him, calling him all sorts and yet again uninvited herself. So OH has totally had it with her now, and is (again) 100% determined she will no longer be invited to the wedding, no matter what she says next time she is sober/taking her meds, or whatever his sisters say. I just hope that this time he sticks to it, but I know it isn't easy for him as he will always have that need to please her.
