OK, is this a thing?

This is a shocking response to a gift! We've invited people and the best gift we can have is their company on the day. I guess all of us look forward to receiving any gifts that people choose to give but I don't have expectations and standards!

xxx

Personally i think this is getting to be a thing in the US -

but I choose to throw a party with my wedding and do not expect them to cover the cost of said wedding -

If i get some cash it will not "cover the wedding" but the house renovations i want to do as i have advised the guests that my "gift Registry" is for cash or john lewis vouchers

I think that's shocking!! You choose to get married and you choose to pay for everyone and that includes meals and everything that goes with it, the cheek of that bride..wanting guests who haven't asked to go but who have been given an invitation and choose to go and show some support and give money as a gift, to be told it hasn't covered enough..i'd be livid! I couldn't care less what guests give us as a gift, money or gifts..certainly wouldn't ask for anything and as it's our wedding day we're grateful for them to come and celebrate and if they give us anything no matter how small it's a bonus.

The woman who wrote that email should be ashamed of herself. What a disgusting attitude to have!

Is this a thing?

Well, if the "this" you refer to is rudeness then yes, unfortunately, it is a thing.

There will always be people who don't know how to behave.

Yeah, i have to say a lot of these stories are coming from the US, but the rudeness is just unbelievable! its a wedding! or a de facto massive party! I wonder if these girls have been put on pedestal of 'what to expect' or are naturally this piggish.

This is so rude. what i dont understand is surely u pay for the reception before you have it??

Ouch that person has no manners what so ever.

The money was a gift, you can't demand an amount and nor should your guests pay for something you choose to arrange and agree to the costs of.

I know where i'd have told her to stick the gift!

From the online comments and responses I've seen to this and the other rude bride story it does seem that it's a thing in the US to make sure your gift covers the 'cost of your plate' plus more. I guess the only sort of 'rule' over here is that the value of the gift changes with the closeness of the relationship to the couple, you'd expect to spend more on your best mate than a less close friend.

In terms of the rudeness, there's always going to be some people who have no shame but lots of self-interest!

What happens in the East is that you give money, that's totally normal and the unspoken trick is to invite people who you know are likely to pay to cover their seat. Also invite people who are proud who will want to play the invisible oneupmanship game, because no one wants to be shamed into paying the least. Sounds crazy but Chinese people love their money!

this actually bring a lot of perspective to it, its more of a culture thing.

still I think that bride was dam right rude.

The awful grammar in her e-mail makes me almost as angry as the petulant demand itself.

That is shocking it's the thought that counts everyone's financial situation is different not everyone can afford to give a lot then again why would the bride have a wedding they can't afford. I wonder if she sent a message like that to any more of her guests I'm sure she'll lose a lot of friends that way if she did.

So instead of providing details of a gift list maybe an invoice in with the invitation?!

We are having an initimate midweek wedding, with a big Saturday party, and we don't expect any gifts.

Thats's shocking! We are going in assuming nothing gift-wise. Coming to celebrate our wedding with us is gift enough! If people want to give us a gift we will be nothing but grateful. A gift is just that, if a bride expects her guests to pay for their dinner she should say so up front! I hate unspoken expectations like that.

While I do think it's ridiculously rude and crazy to expect a guest to pay for their meal, in some cultures for example Italy, this is expected. I just think it's such a shame these brides obviously don't value what a wedding and friendship is really about.

Shocking response! Although I was having a conversation with a friend and she informed me that apparently the gift given should reflect the cost of what you think your place at the wedding has cost?! I was quite shocked to be honest, especially as she's having quite a lavish wedding, I certainly won't be covering the cost of my place! I'll just be happy for my guests to turn up, enjoy the day and get to celebrate with us, and in my opinion if the only way you can pay for your wedding is by the guests giving you money, you should probably not do it!

That's disgraceful. I can't believe anyone could be that rude!

Wouldn't shock me if it did happen!

Personally I'm a believer in 'if you can't afford it then don't have it' when it comes to weddings. Even if we were getting into debt to pay for ours (which we aren't) i wouldn't want to spend gift money paying it back.

It may be controversial round here but I also don't believe in expecting people to contribute to your honeymoon. Have the best holiday you can afford within your means. I understand most people live with their OH's nowadays, myself included, and don't need another toaster etc etc but paying for the holiday is not what wedding gifts are for in my eyes. My parents have things in their house that they were given as wedding gifts and I want to be able to look back in years to come and think 'That was a present from X on our wedding day'

We are having a gift list with John Lewis and we will put some items on it for varying budgets for people who do want to buy us something to start our new life together. I certainly don't expect anyone to buy me anything and the list will be given to people who request it. Being there on the day is far more important to me.

Sorry that turned into a rant!

Disgusting!

I think the invitation should have read "NB, our wedding reception is costing upwards of $200 per head. Please ensure gift provide appropriate renumeration for said amount".

When did it become acceptable to accept guests to pay for your wedding? Can't afford it, don't spend so much money. Simple.