Ok so we are a bit stuck - can you help?

Welcome to Hitch, you may just be our first Pagan. cant help you with your query but thought Id say hello.

goodluck

Hi and thanks?, im sure im not the first pagan, I remember from last time I was on the site there was a lady who was pagan too Im probably the only one now though . thank you for the good luck ?

Hi Ellie,

We had the same issues as we are both pagans too, and have decided to have a handfasting too!

Woo hoo, us pagans!

Ok, this is how i understand it to make it official, you have to have either a church or civil ceremony.

What we are doing is to have a civil ceremony at the same venue as our handfasting - but be aware, dont mention it to your registrar, they can be a bit funny about these things.

So our plan of the day is:

Civil ceremony and making it as quick as poss, and mainly having family etc there.

Handfasting, after about 20 mins, so people can have a drink, we can hide away and prepare and get the registrar out of the venue

After this, its as normal, but we are having a tree dedication, and taking part in a wishing tree, and having the spiral dance.

Its a bit of a palarva having 2 ceremonies on the same day, but if you wanted to, you can always have a quiet civil ceremony and then on the day, have just a handfasting!

The venue we are going with are really cool about people having their own ceremony afterwards, and expressing themselves as they wish. check out www.matara.co.uk - they are having an open day this weekend which we are going to!

PM me if you want to discuss further, its always nice to have another pagan wedding buddy around!

Hope this helps ?

Ok, I didnt actually attend either ceremony, but I know some people who did this too. They had a church ceremony around midday, and then they went to a local park near the river where they had their handfasting. But they only had an evening reception not a full sit down meal.

Thank you so much that is really helpful ?. We were thinking of a tree dedication. I dread trying to explain the situation to anyone official like the registrar or the place we eventually marry in. He wants to have the handfasting in the open somewhere but I dont know if we would be able to do this. Im going to meet him from work now so will show him the link when we get back then we can actually start planning YEY!!!! sorry im excited lol

Ooh Ellie, i'm so excited for you!

At Matara, they have some lovely woodland, with a circular clearing next to the wishing tree, so its ideal for what we want, which is similar to you!

We are having a wet weather plan in place too!. The Nice thing about Matara, is that you can have your civil ceremony in their courtyard, which is also partly open, so you still get the same feeling with that too! I'm just hoping it wont rain. Our priestess who is doing the handfasting, said she hasnt had a wet one yet.....fingers xed and plenty of offerings to the gods before hand me thinks!

Hope u find somewhere!

D x

They have pagan ceremonies and hand fasting at glastonbury. but I suppose thats only if you want to get married in a swamp-sorry don`t mean to sound flip-I always wanted to get married there.

Ohh Chalice Well is lovely and i know you can hire them for the handfasting, but its not legally binding there!

Humm, i will rack my brains for places, but where are you honey!

D xx

Hi?

im also a practicing pagan although my h2b is not, we are getting married at the lost village of dode in kent and were having our handfasting in the grounds of the chapel straight after our civil ceromony. unfortunatly i dont know of anywhere else that does this we googled everything until i find dode, and i was getting quite stressed i can tell you. ill have a word with our priestess to see if she knows of anywhere in your area if you let me know where you are. hope that helps

brightest blessings

salem xx

Oooh how interesting, what is a handfasting / tree dedication ??

We had a handfasting, I loved it!!!!

A Handfasting is basically the old pagan marriage ceremony. Its where the term tying the knot comes from, as basically your hands are tied together or fastened together, hence the term hand fasting!

You know when in church the preist/vicar wraps their scarf (sorry dont know the proper term for it) around your hands, that is a throw back from when the christian church took over marriage ceremonies but had to keep some elements of paganism to keep the "heathens" happy.

Hope that this expains a bit more, but they are great fun, and you get to jump the broom, have a big old spiral dance with everyone attending, and they are great fun.

The Tree dedication is something else, basically its a symbol of your love and that it will be forever lasting - such as a tree!

Dam xx

My mum is Christian and she got married in a venue by a registrar about 2 years ago. Once the legal bits were done, the registrar left and she had a bit of a religious service led by her minister - readings and a couple of hymns. The registrar was fine with it, but did say my mum couldn't do anything religious until after she had left. So long as the venue are ok with it (and they should be - we've having a humanist style ceremony and all the venues we looked at were completely fine with it) you shouldn't have a problem. But you won't be able to do the handfasting while the registrar is in the building.

Hi Ellie,

How you getting on? What did your other half say?

Where are you based?

Hey all thanks for all the ideas. we are based in the north west, we live on the wirral near liverpool. my h2b is from kent we are going to have a think about a budget and see where to go from there but he loved the look of matara damiana . we dont really want to marry far from here. his family are all quite young and able to travel (its a small family) whereas mine is quite large and includes a few older people so we are going to have to try to stay close to home. *my head hurts*?

What a shame that registrars are 'funny' about these ceremonies - as they really are THE most traditional wedding ceremonies of all ☹️

I'd love to go to a pagan wedding ?

Will you be jumping over a witches broom?

Hi Ellie,

I have a friend who is pagan - I can check with her tomorrow!

L

Havent decided if we will be jumping over the broom yet. Alot of people are funny about these ceremonies. We cant even state our religion at job applications or anything like that either because its still a bit dodgy. I had a few problems in my workplace with people once they found out I was pagan. Lots of comments about me being a witch etc which in the end became mocking wasnt very nice.

We're jumping over the broom! My MIL2B and SIL2B bought us one for xmas engraved with the date on it

I know what u mean Ellie, but i've not experienced too much of an issue, but then again 90% of the company i work for are pagan, and i suppose we are all a bit weird anyway...got to be to go ghost hunting

Dont forget Ellie, that you can have your handfasting wherever you want, its just the legal annoyance of civil ceremonies that we have to get around, and yes its silly that registrars are soo funny about it.....makes me wonder tho, what about non christian faiths?? but i suppose because they have a designated place of worship that means they can have legally binding weddings there!

Ho hum....makes me annoyed that the TRUE and original beleif of these isles is completly ousted! Need a campaign for the PERSON marrying you to be the legal aspect (like in the USA) rather than the VENUE being the legal part (with the registrar of corse!)

sorry...mini rant over

You rant away hunni you rant away lol. We are having a movie night tonight so hopefully be able to have a good old chinwag about what we want etc. (we sound like old farts already having a movie night ?). I may check with OBOD to see if they have any places listed. I keep looking at the place you suggested and im falling in love with it but I dont think we could afford it.

Yeah i have to admit it is a bit on the pricey side! Sorry!

Hope u have a great night and take care!

D xx

Dont apologise Damiana It may just mean me working overtime lol